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I have observed (and please don't take this as anti-religion, I'm not anti-religion at all) that people who casually but frequently mention how often they go to church, and name-drop priests they're good friends with, and casually but frequently mention how many "good works" they do...
can be, not all the time, but can be the nastiest, meanest people imaginable. These are the ones who treat others like garbage. I always wonder who or what it is they think they're fooling?
But I've also known deeply religious people who actually are wonderful people. These are the ones who are humble about it.
I've noticed this as well. Some people make religion into something of a really catty sorority.
Yup, that pretty well sums it up for me.
You see another version here too. They don't usually come right out and tell others that they are nice. But when they post about how 'others' are mean, don't play nice, attack the 'nice' people, to me they imply that they are nice people, but it's those 'others' that are always causing problems. They get very indignant at any suggestion that something they posted was not nice.
There's a thread just for that! When anybody calmly points out that one of the "nice" complainers is being really nasty about the so-called mean people, they never respond to the post.
Repetition has its benefits. Its absolutely tried and true that if you repeat a behavior enough...it tends to incorporate itself .
Btw Silibran, I've read many of your posts and you have remained consistent in your genuineness...which to me conveys you are "Kind and Nice" in action and life. Keep being you!
My goodness! Thank you.
Can’t rep you. I guess I like your posts a lot too.
How do you define being nice? By how you act, what you think, how you come across to other people?
For me, it's the opposite. I try all the time to be nice, but I feel like I fail at being a nice person a lot and I don't always think I am one. Sometimes I hurt people without meaning to and sometimes I mean to hurt them even when I realize I shouldn't and that bothers me the most. I know I can't be perfect, but I could be a little (or a lot) less judgemental and I could be more empathetic.
I've seen people go through life just as they are and others have to take them that way or not, and those people don't worry about how they come across to others. They just are. I stress about how I am all the time and know I could do better. C'est la guerre!
I'm not nice by nature. I have to consciously work at it. I think the meanest things about people and have very little patience with certain types.
Then I'll meet someone like this woman I know who probably has the lowest IQ possible before one is considered special needs, and who frustrates me no end because she can't hold an intelligent conversation or spell for beans, but she runs circles around me in terms of having a kind heart and the willingness to do anything to help anyone. That sort of thing humbles me and makes me want to be a better person.
Who are these people, who go around saying they're nice? I've never known such a person. Excepting public figures, who may at times feel it necessary to make such a proclamation, do average people do this? I can't relate.
I've noticed this as well. Some people make religion into something of a really catty sorority.
Wow, this part of the thread brought up an unpleasant memory of a college roommate. I was 2 years her senior in grade but had transferred from another program so was also older in years. When we met at the room for the first time she introduced herself by saying "Have you found God in your life?" I made some surprised comment about having already made my spiritual choices for myself, thank you very much. After that, this sanctimonious do-gooder had no trouble informing me what I should do to save my soul. I'm not religious but pretty tolerant about beliefs people around me have...there are many paths to the mountain.
This gal was always talking about her church-related activities, preaching, and fluttering around like a grounded angel. I'm sure she considered herself above reproach, very nice. She had a boyfriend who was just as bad. They'd leave me little notes saying things like "Tod and I hope you find the guidance you need for a wonderful life". "We just wanted you to know we are praying for you today." etc. Then most evenings the two of them would curl up on her bed and shamelessly gossip about everyone they knew in furtive whispers for hours: fellow students, church members, relatives, friends/neighbors at home...no one was spared. I mean judgmental, vicious stuff.
Her mother was due to come visit. I wondered if she'd be any worse than her hypocritical daughter. Surprise surprise, her mother turned out to be a great person; friendly, welcoming, open minded and with a great sense of humor about the world...including her snotty daughter. We hit it off right away. The daughter was miffed, almost offended. She obviously felt mom was less than acceptable. Too bad. Mom was....NICE! Guess you just never know.
Last edited by Parnassia; 02-25-2019 at 01:18 AM..
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