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No. You don't ask people to change their plans. If he doesn't want to pay he should decline the invite.
Different people can have different group dynamics. Good friends don't have to stand on perfect etiquette all the time. It's perfectly acceptable to say I cannot afford the VIP showing, but would like to go to a regular showing, if that is agreeable (in a more casual wording, since these are good friends).
Clearly most here do not know the OPs other sagas.
And so what, if you don't like or I don't like what OP says, I say nothing. Not a bad idea for everyone. No one is perfect for sure.
OP: On the movie issue, I have gone to movies so much of my life, and now I don't as I can't sit for hours and I only went to see the movie not to spend a bunch of cash on stuff I don't want.
Stay home with all the stuff at everyone's disposal today.
So, OP could always compromise and not see the VIP premiere but still pay a little extra ($4-6) because his friends want to drink beer and not have to wait in line.
But why bring up sensible compromise scenarios based on the reality of what actually going to the movies is like?
It's more fun to sit here and give advice to dump/disown your friends because they are judging you on your lifestyle.
You are 100% certain this is even an option at the theaters in OP's neighborhood? Because maybe asking the friends to go to the regular showing with him once in a while actually is a sensible compromise based on options available at the theaters in his neighborhood?
It's more fun to sit and judge and assume that every option available to you is available to everyone in every city and neighborhood.
You are 100% certain this is even an option at the theaters in OP's neighborhood? Because maybe asking the friends to go to the regular showing with him once in a while actually is a sensible compromise based on options available at the theaters in his neighborhood?
It's more fun to sit and judge and assume that every option available to you is available to everyone in every city and neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure that it is.
I mean, really I don't think OP wanted a solution so much as a springboard for a debate. Which is cool. But I will duck out. Good luck.
I'm a spender. When I want something I do not care about the cost, I get it. When I go out with friends who are "cheap", it drives me crazy because it makes me look like the bad guy. Just like when you eat out with friends and the check comes, the people who are dividing the bill to the last penny make me want to climb a tree. The reason we work is to enjoy the fruits of our labor, and the day I have to start counting every penny, put me in a box.
So do you still hang out with the friends who can't afford to throw money like you do or do you stick with like minded people? I don't understand how going out with "cheap" friends makes you look like a bad guy unless you are acting like the bad guy. Do you take turns in going to spendy places and cheaper places or is one side or the other always demanding their way? I'm basically spend conscious but I don't mind treating myself once in a while to something more frivolous. I'm just not going to do it every day to appease someone else. I also don't expect everyone else to always eat off the dollar menu either. Once in a while we can eat lobster, once in a while we can eat sandwiches and sometimes we can meet in the middle and have chicken or fish. Friendships require balance.
My brother in law sounds very similar to you. I'm going to take a guess we're in a different age group but his mentality is the same. If he wants it he gets it and when the bill comes he's tossing down $100 bills before the rest of us can even approximate what we owe. What he doesn't understand is that some of us count our pennies now so that we aren't later when we reach 60's and 70's and the Wal Mart greeter position doesn't pay as much as the one we had when we threw money around. Yes, I have the money. No, I am not required to spend it because you believe I should.
Everyone has a different definition of enjoying the fruits of our labor. He likes to play the big shot and spend money as fast as he earns it and that's great for him because it doesn't affect me. His plans for later in life if he has any, aren't my concern or worry. By the same token if I throw all my money around now just to keep up with him, he's not going to be taking care of me later when the well runs dry. So by that reasoning I have zero right to get mad at him for spending and he has zero right to get mad at me for not paying for everyone. Maybe his retirement plan is a box too? I don't know. It's not my concern.
While he's eating lobster every day now, I'm eating a lot of sandwiches and paying for a second home in a nice comfortable spot in which I plan to retire early, free and clear. To each their own.
I just don't think the OP is a jerk for asking for a compromise. VIP seat this week, GA seat next week.
An extra 14 bucks is a big deal????? You said you have tons of money to blow, your friends know this.
Why only working PT?
Yes, an extra $14 can be a very big deal. Especially if you live on a fixed income.
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