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My mother is one of the rudest people I know and it has gotten worse with age. Of course she is married to a classless guy that is rude and has no manners whatsoever. These two are literally your worst nightmare as a waiter/waitress/clerk whatever.
Imagine snapping your fingers to get the attention of a waitress in a busy restaurant? Ordering drinks with free refills and literally trying to drink a glass before the waitress returns so they can get you another?
How about showing up to someone's birthday party (significant year for that person) then badgering the guests about coming to your own birthday party coming in the next 5 months?
How about these two bickering about what restaurant to eat at and then parking the car and each person going to a separate restaurant alone to eat?
I think old people lose focus when they are retired. They have nothing to do all day and less and less interaction with people (no job, no hobbies). Imagine working at a Dr's office full of old people?
I have to jump in here...my son and daughter constantly disrespect me by correcting my thinking process and my social behavior expectations. People I am 75 years old and if you are in my age range...we did pretty good relating to each other, making good life decisions, expecting to be treated civilly. Yes we grew up in the age of belief that customer service is paramount in the global workplace. What happened? Social networking!, internet technology, social behavioral changes! that's what happened. The old mores are not important anymore and Yes our children feel they are soooo much smarter than we are because of the above. But it is all relative...we were smarter because we (our generation) promoted the platforms for all of the interventions above to be created. In other words, without us it wouldn't be a them. And you know something else, we sixty and seventy somethings read the same internet postings and online researchers that our younger counterparts do...we actually are smarter while being kinder to each other.
It really come down to respect for others. The very fabric of respect/decency toward others in humanity is being breached and wearing thin. Our social norms has changed. The question is what do we do about it to maintain a even playing field?
OP: Trust your feelings. If you felt disrespected, and that he was condescending, then you are probably right. Some people are passive-aggressive. He might have some unresolved issues that he is projecting onto you. It wasn't nice, and it was not respectful to speak to you in that manner. It was unnecessary. He was treating you like a child. Not cool.
I felt like he was condescending. I don't know. Maybe I just overreacted, which seems to be the general consensus here.
Maybe. Maybe not.
However, I don’t think a son or daughter challenging a statement, offering a different point of view, pointing out the obvious, etc. etc. to a parent is inherently disrespectful. IMO, it’s the delivery that’s important.
However, I don’t think a son or daughter challenging a statement, offering a different point of view, pointing out the obvious, etc. etc. to a parent is inherently disrespectful. IMO, it’s the delivery that’s important.
The very aspect of the story none of us can hear. We also don't have the backstory about this relationship. After reading the enhanced account I don't get the impression anyone was being particularly disrespectful or rude. OP I also think you are overreacting a little bit...seeing conspiracies where none exist.
Last edited by Parnassia; 07-21-2020 at 11:55 AM..
I'm curious about the ages of your kids. If they are in their early 20s, you may find that they become more considerate toward you as they mature.
They are 39, 36, and 32. I am finding this is pretty normal for parents my age with adult children their ages. There is a lack of respect that we accorded our parents, and in turn expect from our children. It's not there.
I have to jump in here...my son and daughter constantly disrespect me by correcting my thinking process and my social behavior expectations. People I am 75 years old and if you are in my age range...we did pretty good relating to each other, making good life decisions, expecting to be treated civilly. Yes we grew up in the age of belief that customer service is paramount in the global workplace. What happened? Social networking!, internet technology, social behavioral changes! that's what happened. The old mores are not important anymore and Yes our children feel they are soooo much smarter than we are because of the above. But it is all relative...we were smarter because we (our generation) promoted the platforms for all of the interventions above to be created. In other words, without us it wouldn't be a them. And you know something else, we sixty and seventy somethings read the same internet postings and online researchers that our younger counterparts do...we actually are smarter while being kinder to each other.
It really come down to respect for others. The very fabric of respect/decency toward others in humanity is being breached and wearing thin. Our social norms has changed. The question is what do we do about it to maintain a even playing field?
Thank you! You "get it." This was not about what I did or didn't do right. It is about the way my children feel they can talk down to me. Thanks for understanding.
OP: Trust your feelings. If you felt disrespected, and that he was condescending, then you are probably right. Some people are passive-aggressive. He might have some unresolved issues that he is projecting onto you. It wasn't nice, and it was not respectful to speak to you in that manner. It was unnecessary. He was treating you like a child. Not cool.
Thank you.
I called him a little while ago and we talked about what happened. He and his brother had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, drinking, and he had only had about 3 hours of sleep, so he wasn't his best self. He admitted that he hadn't been very kind to me and that he had also been very short with his little boy. We cleared the air and when he explained that he just really didn't want us to, as a family, sit around and badmouth people, it made more sense to me.
My original question was only about whether other people have kids that disrespect them.
It wasn't about what you think I did wrong, although many of you felt the need to tell me.
I found many of the responses amusing because of this and I can see many of you have issues of your own to deal with.
Thanks to the people who actually answered my question and didn't take it upon themselves to judge me. I appreciate your honest answers even if they disagreed with me.
Thank you! You "get it." This was not about what I did or didn't do right. It is about the way my children feel they can talk down to me. Thanks for understanding.
But you never did say how he talked down to you, so I'm not sure how anyone can actually answer that.
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