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You have some really messed up friends and family. No one decides how to spend the money I earn but me. If your family is so offended, they can pony up the fee.
I am trying to come up with the money in a month's time so I can go, but part of me doesn't appreciate being told I have to pay up. I almost don't want to go.
What do I do?
I’m not trying to be rude at all because this situation sounds very frustrating for sure.
However, can you:
Sell something or a few smaller items that you don’t need, like on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace?
Return an item or items you’ve recently bought?
Sign up for DoorDash or the like, and take that on as a second temporary job just until you make $150?
Donate plasma?
Participate in a marketing-related focus group exercise?
Answer a ‘help wanted’ ad for some type of odd job, ideally at a business or some other professional or semi-professional environment (might be kind of creepy to go to someone’s house alone to help them clean, etc)?
I understand it sucks especially considering you didn’t really want to do this activity anyway.
Oh for goodness sakes. Just say NO. Your family is being irrational so ignore them - you revealed nothing that is not a perfectly logical assumption anyway. These bridezilla functions are absurd. Keep standing your ground! There is NO way I would agree to such unnecessary expenses. And I CAN afford it.
I think you make an excellent point. This is unreasonable request and expense, even if you have the money to spare.
I am only guessing, but I would be Mandi isn't the only one not thrilled about this request. Someone else's wedding and festivities should not be any sort of financial drain on their friends.
Just think there are some wealthy people who do things like wear a mother in law's wedding gown, keep the party to a small family event, no significant bridesmaids and all that stuff.
Someone we know is having a simple destination wedding. Due to worries about covid and travel, they just got dressed up and had the ceremony at city hall and then had a fun afternoon with just themselves. The family is still going to the destination but it will be a big party and not a stress filled event. Simple.
Weddings can be simple events with meaning instead of out of control events.
Second, why do you agree to be a bridesmaid if you do not have money aside for that event? Being a bridesmaid always costs you a quite some money.
While agreeing to be a bridesmaid may require extra money, that’s for the dress, hair/makeup, and then a gift. The bridal shower, bachelorette, any extra events are that… extra. There is no requirement to participate, though generally expected. Whoever is organizing these extra events needs to speak with ALL bridesmaids to address budgeting. $150 for a bus (per person?! Did I read that right?!) was not something the OP was obviously taking into account when agreeing to be a bridesmaid.
My friend’s bachelorette was an afternoon at a mini golf/laser tag place. Maybe $20/person? Not including food? My bachelorette was more an afternoon at the zoo (I only had two bridesmaids though, so it was low key). You can have an event without forcing attendees to spend an arm and a leg!
Sorry, had to respond to that because the price of the bus is like the price of a decent but not over the top bridesmaid dress. It would like be asking her the equivalent to buy two dresses…
I’m not trying to be rude at all because this situation sounds very frustrating for sure.
However, can you:
Sell something or a few smaller items that you don’t need, like on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace?
Return an item or items you’ve recently bought?
Sign up for DoorDash or the like, and take that on as a second temporary job just until you make $150?
Donate plasma?
Participate in a marketing-related focus group exercise?
Answer a ‘help wanted’ ad for some type of odd job, ideally at a business or some other professional or semi-professional environment (might be kind of creepy to go to someone’s house alone to help them clean, etc)?
I understand it sucks especially considering you didn’t really want to do this activity anyway.
I had to laugh. Selling plasma so you can ride a party bus. This country is going to the dogs.
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