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Hi, I'm a High school guy senior here... basically, I have a lot of acquaintances but no "real" friends (not part of a group that reliably hangs out at least twice a month). I was thinking about throwing a random party at my house for both guys & girls so that hopefully one of them would (in the future) include me in their "group". But the thing is, there's not much connection between us besides the fact that we're just really nice to each other when we see each other. It's been that way for a long time so I honestly think our impressions of each other (or at least, their impression of me) might not really change much from here on.
Either way, I'm still going to have this party lol. But in all honestly, how much closer should I realistically expect to get to these people once this happens? Should the expectation be different for guys, and for girls? I threw a party similar to this a few months back... (only a few of those kids are going to be at this one).. but nothing really got better for me Is there something I can do differently at this party that will leave some good results?
Still going to throw this party, but in any case, what can a high school senior honestly do to make people want to be his friend?
*edit: I was hoping someone could share some of their experiences, if they've been in a similar situation as I'm in. I appreciate and understand there's truth in responses such as "it will only make them want to use you" or "don't let them trash your house!!!" but was looking for a deeper understanding of why this is so. Some of these guys who are coming over are actually "good friends of the past".
And also, to be honest, the girls are the ones who are merely acquaintances. Only some of the guys are merely acquaintances. Two were good friends, one is currently new and becoming a friend if things go well. I obviously wouldn't be having this party if I couldn't relate to some of these ppl on a deeper level. I would say I can relate fully with a few of the guys there, but the thing is that I still don't have a "group" to be a part of nonetheless.
Last edited by avant-garde; 01-27-2010 at 06:36 PM..
Is this a jokey-joke? Don't ever do things just to get accepted. If you were the type that naturally likes to throw parties and people just loved you for that then that's cool, but you should kinda just appreciate yourself for what is dope about you and just let people react as such.
You're trying to start a really bad habit that you don't want to start.
Aight, I agree with you guys on that part. Doing such things does not guarantee much.
But according to my parents, they think that I really should do anything to interact with them more. They think the party is a great idea, and that I should go on with it. I'm not really expecting many benefits, but I wish I could share the hope that my parents possess about this.
*edit: I've held the attitude "you should just be who you are and let people appreciate that, but if they don't, then being a loner is always better". I've tried that for the longest time and it never works. Granted, a person should never change his core personality just for other people, but I can say that the quote above is dead wrong nonetheless. I need some brushing up on my relate-ability skills w/ people and this is something I'm willing to give a shot lol. I think, no matter, what, it's a noble goal to free oneself from being a loner, which takes a lot of effort for me.
If you want to make friends, you have to be someone worth being friends with. Think about it. What are you looking for in a friend? Then be that person.
People want to be friends with people who are fun to be around, they feel they can talk to, they're comfortable around, and there's a connection.
If the noise level goes up, and the police are called, your parents could be heavily fined because they own or rent the house that you, a minor, held a party in. It's called a social host ordinance. Some cities have them.
And of course, many underage drinkers don't even have any experience with alcohol, which is why one needs to wait til age 21 to be formally introduced.
It might be a good way to meet people on the other hand parties often draw moochers. Holding just one just to meet people seems fine on the other hand I would be wary of people staking their friendship with you on consistently holding parties.
Also to echo other posters be careful with providing booze, one because you and your folks could get in trouble, and two because again people might try to stake their friendship on you providing for them and that is never good.
High school kids do stupid things all the time in the spirit of popularity, but I wouldn't if I was you. They're just going to break your ****, drink your beer, and come school on Monday you won't necessarily be any cooler than you were the week before.
I went to HS with people who would do that, the only thing that accomplished was us knowing we had a place to host all future parties.
So I need help with a decision:
Invite 9 guys&girls (2 who are old time's sake, 1 who is becoming good friend, 6 are just acquaintances) - this party will be in order to have a lot of fun
OR
invite 4 guys (2 who are old time's sake, 1 who is becoming good friend, 1 acquaintance) - this party will be in order to "catch up" with how our lives went since a couple months back
Old time's sake are good friends and I can confide in them, but we rarely meet up and I can't say we're a "group" anymore. The 1 who is becoming a good friend does not know the old time's sake guys, so I was actually hoping I could leave him out, but can't because he's invited me to several places and I kind of feel obliged (?) to return what he did.
Last edited by avant-garde; 01-27-2010 at 07:27 PM..
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Is there something I can do differently at this party that will leave some good results?
