Divorce agreement from another state

[Stagemomma]

Originally Posted by kitkatbar

I believe both of you are entitled to revisit the child support amount in court if there has been a substantial change in circumstance (change of job, change in how often the child is over at one house versus the other, change in marital status.) So there have been two of those things in his case. If both of you are feeling the pinch of more expenses or less income (which sounds like the case--no matter if the reasons differ), it may mean some expenses have be cut for your child. I hate to suggest she give up the dance classes, but then that's not really a situation unique to divorced families. Plenty of times a married couple is going through a rough patch financially and the first thing that has to go is the luxury items for the kids like dance classes or music lessons. It stinks but it's a reality of life in a tough economy. I also kind of worry that even if you brought it to court, your argument doesn't look especially strong--the child is with him much more, but you should still receive the same amount? This may not be the case, but it reads a little bit like you are annoyed that the new wife doesn't work and gets to stay home with the child instead of you. Good luck to you.

Change in marital status has no bearing on child support. Ever. He has not had a change in income. He makes 100K per year. He can afford to pay for dance classes. I'm not annoyed that the wife doesn't have to work (for all I know she is still living off her dead husband's insurance), I'm annoyed that he poor mouths about it. Sheesh, I was unemployed for 22 months and never asked him for an extra dime. and managed to continue to pay for dance classes.

I also did not mention that he has refused to pay for his share of the unreimbursed medical expenses and child care expenses for the past 3 years as per our agreement. I have not had time to look up those totals, but I'll bet they add up to more than a years worth of the 9% he is witholding. For example, he did not contribute to the unreimbursed cost of the oldest's wisdom teeth removal. He is supposed to pay me 69% of $1300.

I'm pretty confident that if I did have to take him to court they would expect him to pay me what he owes me for the past 3 years, but still don't know if an NC court would recalculate the payments.

It's probably a moot point. I can't afford any legal action.

Sad thing is, when the ortho is paid off in 6 more months, I was planning to start sticking that amount into a college fund.

Thanks for letting me vent. To be honest, regardless of the law, this always comes back to his stubborn nature. I probably should have posted this on a divorce forum.

[Stagemomma]

Originally Posted by meh_whatever

If we had to choose between dance and orthodontia, I think I'd teach my own child to dance.

I know that might sound ridiculous, but I took YEARS of ballet. I dunno... you are choosing between dance classes (nice, but not necessary) and getting your kid's teeth straightened out?

Oh, lordy no, she only has about 6 months to go in braces, not going to turn back now. And frankly, I can't ask her to quit the lessons either, it is the only thing she does after school and it makes her so happy, so I will just have to pay for it with my home equity line, for heaven's sake......

Originally Posted by meh_whatever

Anyway... stop letting her spend the night over at his house more than you were before. That's my advice to you. If she's there more often, it can be argued that he spends more money on her than he used to (for meals, for her share of the home and utilities, etc) and that would make you NOT entitled to more money.

It always has been and forever will be HER choice. She is still adjusting...some of this will depend on next year's high school choice!

Originally Posted by meh_whatever

Then again, you could use the calculator I posted here earlier to see if maybe you might be entitled to more money. I suspect you are not, though, or you'd have posted as much.

I had already used the same calculator and yes, you are correct, NC would not have awarded nearly as much as the other state did. Thus my worry.

Originally Posted by meh_whatever

If he leaves his job and finds another job that pays less and your daughter is over there a lot, you may really be in for a rude awakening regarding child support from him.

If he leaves his job I would be HAPPY to adjust the support as per our divorce agreement. I was entitled to such an adjustment in the child care and unreimbursed medical percentages when my income dropped and I never asked for it. I'm classy that way.

Originally Posted by meh_whatever

The kids know he doesn't pay child support (they are older now) and that (among quite a few other reasons that I won't go into here) affects their relationship with him. He's just too pigheaded to realize it.

His problem.

Preach! Which is why we aren't married to them any longer!