Divorce agreement from another state (insurance, attorney, house) - North Carolina (NC) - City-Data Forum

Stagemomma · 10-01-2013, 10:02 AM

I got divorced in another state. My ex and I now both live in NC.

Over the past couple of years he has not lived up to the letter of our divorce agreement in regards to money. He has refused to discuss these issues with me, just no response to my queries at all (that is his stubborn way), so I have let them ride. It was not a huge amount of money and I was making a decent income. (we are long past the point of alimony)

Now ex has remarried and is finding married life to be very expensive. Because his new wife does not work, our youngest child is able to spend much more time at their house. He is insistent that he is entitled to reduce child support payments as a result...by 22%.

In the state where we divorced, that is NOT the case. Visitation/where the child sleeps at night has no bearing on child support. In NC, however, those factors ARE considered. And in NC child support awards are generally calculated lower than they are here.

His income has not changed in 7 years, mine has fluctuated a great deal. Right now there is no fat in my budget or on our plate. If he reduces the amount of support, I will no longer be able to pay extras for that child such as orthodontia or her dance classes. The check he gave me for October 1 reflected that change....write after I paid for 6 weeks of dance.

My belief is that because we made certain agreements In our original state, he does not have a legal right to make changes.

If we were to go to mediation or if I have to take him to court in NC, Would I be at risk of losing? Or would the law/courts in NC support our agreement from the other state?

Stagemomma · 10-01-2013, 01:08 PM

Okay, how embarrassing, ex has reduced his payment for October by about 9%, not 22%. Now we can pay for dance OR ortho.

Still, if anyone has any info, I'd appreciate it.

topchief1 · 10-01-2013, 01:39 PM

My expect advice is to contact a lawyer.

RedZin · 10-01-2013, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by topchief1

My expect advice is to contact a lawyer.

I concur.

ETA: Try out this calculator: http://www.rosen.com/childcalculator/

He may be right about being able to reduce this. If you don't want him to reduce it, you might want to take a closer look at how often your child is at his house.

MB1972 · 10-01-2013, 02:09 PM

I recommend you call Andrea M. Bosquez-Porter - Family Law Attorney

LRoyal10900 · 10-02-2013, 08:19 PM

Because you both live here, I believe he can have Child Support Enforcement take over the case. Unless a specific amount is specified in your custody agreement, then he can have the state use their formula for ordering support. It might be in his favor, it might not.

cchampagne232000 · 10-03-2013, 04:00 PM

yep-I believe he is entitled to file for a modifcation based on a substantial change in circumstances. You should contact an attorney if he does.

Stagemomma · 10-03-2013, 07:46 PM

I doubt he would EVER initiate any sort of official legal action. He just simply won't pay any more than he wants to.

Yes, LRoyal, our agreement does specify the amount. The amount is solely based on his income, which probably has not changed (he works for his uncle, and if he said "Hey, if you give me a raise I will have to pay more to Stagemomma" his uncle would give him a bonus under the table in lieu of a raise.)

Part of his problem is he is thinking of quitting his job and is not confident he will be able to make as much money anywhere else. Inwardly he is panicking about that, and the only thing he can do to feel in control is to control what he pays me.

It has not yet occurred to him to sell one of the three cars he and his wife own.

kitkatbar · 10-04-2013, 05:40 AM

I believe both of you are entitled to revisit the child support amount in court if there has been a substantial change in circumstance (change of job, change in how often the child is over at one house versus the other, change in marital status.) So there have been two of those things in his case. If both of you are feeling the pinch of more expenses or less income (which sounds like the case--no matter if the reasons differ), it may mean some expenses have be cut for your child. I hate to suggest she give up the dance classes, but then that's not really a situation unique to divorced families. Plenty of times a married couple is going through a rough patch financially and the first thing that has to go is the luxury items for the kids like dance classes or music lessons. It stinks but it's a reality of life in a tough economy. I also kind of worry that even if you brought it to court, your argument doesn't look especially strong--the child is with him much more, but you should still receive the same amount? This may not be the case, but it reads a little bit like you are annoyed that the new wife doesn't work and gets to stay home with the child instead of you. Good luck to you.

RedZin · 10-04-2013, 04:37 PM

If we had to choose between dance and orthodontia, I think I'd teach my own child to dance.

I know that might sound ridiculous, but I took YEARS of ballet. I dunno... you are choosing between dance classes (nice, but not necessary) and getting your kid's teeth straightened out?

Anyway... stop letting her spend the night over at his house more than you were before. That's my advice to you. If she's there more often, it can be argued that he spends more money on her than he used to (for meals, for her share of the home and utilities, etc) and that would make you NOT entitled to more money.

Then again, you could use the calculator I posted here earlier to see if maybe you might be entitled to more money. I suspect you are not, though, or you'd have posted as much.

Child support enforcement doesn't care whether your husband has 3 cars or 300 cars. They will base this off his income and your income and who pays medical insurance... and how many overnights the child spends at each home. PERIOD.

If he leaves his job and finds another job that pays less and your daughter is over there a lot, you may really be in for a rude awakening regarding child support from him.

ETA: My ex tried to get the kids more often on weekends (eldest was a junior in high school and basically did most of the real caregiving when they were at the ex's house, so this wasn't a huge chore for him) so that he could attempt to strongarm me into paying HIM child support. I think he seriously overestimated my income.... my hourly was high, but I was a contractor back then and was not guaranteed full-time work. My pay was pretty good, but it wasn't good enough to give him a grand a month just because he watched the kids 2 nights a week. LOL.

In fact, he was technically obligated to pay me about 280 bucks a month, but he fought it tooth and nail. Why any man would not want to support his kids at all is beyond me. I gave up and told him I didn't want his money. The kids know he doesn't pay child support (they are older now) and that (among quite a few other reasons that I won't go into here) affects their relationship with him. He's just too pigheaded to realize it.

His problem.