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omg ... I've lived here for two years and like most transplants, we feel it's one of the most difficult states to adapt to. I've lived in a couple of other Southern states before and it was not this ... confusing.
Sorry folks, but this is one of the most NARROW MINDED, ignorant, places I've ever seen in my life.
I can't figure out if it's the times we're in... or if half the population here were dropped on their heads when young. (Or perhaps, yesterday.)
This is an EXTREMELY homophobic place.
It has one of the weirdest types of racism I've ever encountered.
Most of your interactions ... or should I say your African adopted child's interactions... won't be the typical type of racism because NC is pretty good on the whole. (You can't escape it because it's woven so deeply into the fabric of our country that some people actually think its not there.)
What the child will experience is a HUGE piece of Internalized racism from other blacks here.
I really hate to say it, but because the Carolinas were one of the first places blacks were brought in, the "slave mentality" of pulling each other down is still very much alive here.
It's a dynamic that sits beneath the larger mainstream issue of natives Vs. transplants.
"You ain't from here" is huge.
It can feel like a lot of folks expect you to kiss their behinds... black and white... because ... well... because they're so special?? (I haven't quite figured out why they think this... maybe it's a nation wide dynamic of, "The Age of Narcissism."
There's a lot of low self-esteem issues that you can trigger without knowing it.
They've voted their secondary public schools into being the lowest rated in the nation.
Four out of the 15 fastest growing (downwards) impoverished cities are here in NC.
Truck drivers are the 7th worse in the nation because they like to tail gate you (bully behavior)
I know you want to get out of the snow, but I'd suggest that if you do move here, STAY in the Raleigh-Durham-CH area. Do not leave it. (I don't know anything about Charlotte, but I would think you'd find signs of intelligent life there too.)
If I were you, I'd either go no further south than Fredericksburg, Virginia, or perhaps one of the more progressive suburbs around Atlanta. And be prepared to interact with people who think a book written in the 2d century BC was designed to be historically correct and read literally.
To survive and even flourish do this:
Realize there's Haters everywhere and there's a ton here. IGNORE them.
Do not be fooled by the smiles. Gossip is king and they don't care how accurate it is.
The people skills you'll need is THICK skin and moving towards them.. not away. (You'll only encounter the idiots if you isolate... and there's really, REALLY, a lot of idiots of all stripes here.)
You're supposed to join a church. "We like our baseball and our churches." It's where you'll make friends and there are some churches in the Winston-Salem area that understand the Old Testament is part of the Torah and it's coded with Hebrew meaning, numerology, astrology, and allegorical mythology, hence Sodom and Gomorrah has little or nothing to do with sexuality (HOW DO YOU RAPE AN ANGEL?!!?) and "Jesus" in the "CHRISTIAN" part of the NEW Testament only said six things about homosexuality and none prohibited it... so warning ... be prepared. You're going back in a lazier thinking time.
There will be some dunderheads who'll ask you what state you're from, then think that if they conquer you, they've somehow "conquered" the entire state you ... just .. left ...
Notice how many NEGATIVE replies this message attracts. A lot of people here can't think a thought until they find something to be against, yet they'll continue the behavior and justify it.
Pull up, MeetUP and observe the types of topics people are trying to meet each other around .. and the lack of some you may be used to.
Do NOT try to change them. Most are NOT deep thinkers and they've been taught through fear and aversion to adhere to the status quo.
The plus sides?
It's BEAUTIFUL
There ARE good people here... you'll just have to hunt them out. (Don't leave the R-D-CH area.)
NO TRAFFIC. Occasionally there's a bit, but nothing like you're used to.
PARKING!! I heard a guy on the radio complaining about the increase in parking fees. HA! Lots of free or really low cost parking compared to what you're used to.
More laid back lifestyle.
There are some great universities and a few good restaurants.
You will--if tenacious--be able to create a good life here, but it's going to take time. Longer than you're used to.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,693,648 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganwriter
omg ... I've lived here for two years and like most transplants, we feel it's one of the most difficult states to adapt to. I've lived in a couple of other Southern states before and it was not this ... confusing.
Sorry folks, but this is one of the most NARROW MINDED, ignorant, places I've ever seen in my life.
I can't figure out if it's the times we're in... or if half the population here were dropped on their heads when young. (Or perhaps, yesterday.)
This is an EXTREMELY homophobic place.
It has one of the weirdest types of racism I've ever encountered.
Most of your interactions ... or should I say your African adopted child's interactions... won't be the typical type of racism because NC is pretty good on the whole. (You can't escape it because it's woven so deeply into the fabric of our country that some people actually think its not there.)
What the child will experience is a HUGE piece of Internalized racism from other blacks here.
I really hate to say it, but because the Carolinas were one of the first places blacks were brought in, the "slave mentality" of pulling each other down is still very much alive here.
It's a dynamic that sits beneath the larger mainstream issue of natives Vs. transplants.
"You ain't from here" is huge.
It can feel like a lot of folks expect you to kiss their behinds... black and white... because ... well... because they're so special?? (I haven't quite figured out why they think this... maybe it's a nation wide dynamic of, "The Age of Narcissism."
There's a lot of low self-esteem issues that you can trigger without knowing it.
They've voted their secondary public schools into being the lowest rated in the nation.
Four out of the 15 fastest growing (downwards) impoverished cities are here in NC.
Truck drivers are the 7th worse in the nation because they like to tail gate you (bully behavior)
I know you want to get out of the snow, but I'd suggest that if you do move here, STAY in the Raleigh-Durham-CH area. Do not leave it. (I don't know anything about Charlotte, but I would think you'd find signs of intelligent life there too.)
If I were you, I'd either go no further south than Fredericksburg, Virginia, or perhaps one of the more progressive suburbs around Atlanta. And be prepared to interact with people who think a book written in the 2d century BC was designed to be historically correct and read literally.
To survive and even flourish do this:
Realize there's Haters everywhere and there's a ton here. IGNORE them.
Do not be fooled by the smiles. Gossip is king and they don't care how accurate it is.
The people skills you'll need is THICK skin and moving towards them.. not away. (You'll only encounter the idiots if you isolate... and there's really, REALLY, a lot of idiots of all stripes here.)
You're supposed to join a church. "We like our baseball and our churches." It's where you'll make friends and there are some churches in the Winston-Salem area that understand the Old Testament is part of the Torah and it's coded with Hebrew meaning, numerology, astrology, and allegorical mythology, hence Sodom and Gomorrah has little or nothing to do with sexuality (HOW DO YOU RAPE AN ANGEL?!!?) and "Jesus" in the "CHRISTIAN" part of the NEW Testament only said six things about homosexuality and none prohibited it... so warning ... be prepared. You're going back in a lazier thinking time.
There will be some dunderheads who'll ask you what state you're from, then think that if they conquer you, they've somehow "conquered" the entire state you ... just .. left ...
Notice how many NEGATIVE replies this message attracts. A lot of people here can't think a thought until they find something to be against, yet they'll continue the behavior and justify it.
Pull up, MeetUP and observe the types of topics people are trying to meet each other around .. and the lack of some you may be used to.
Do NOT try to change them. Most are NOT deep thinkers and they've been taught through fear and aversion to adhere to the status quo.
The plus sides?
It's BEAUTIFUL
There ARE good people here... you'll just have to hunt them out. (Don't leave the R-D-CH area.)
NO TRAFFIC. Occasionally there's a bit, but nothing like you're used to.
PARKING!! I heard a guy on the radio complaining about the increase in parking fees. HA! Lots of free or really low cost parking compared to what you're used to.
More laid back lifestyle.
There are some great universities and a few good restaurants.
You will--if tenacious--be able to create a good life here, but it's going to take time. Longer than you're used to.
I think that this is some of the most amazing claptrap that I've seen on this board. The good news for you is there's a poster on the Charlotte board who spouts this type of crap. Maybe the 2 of you could meetup in Greensboro.
Here's a news flash for ya. The religious right is everywhere. I've lived around them all of my life.
omg ... I've lived here for two years and like most transplants, we feel it's one of the most difficult states to adapt to. I've lived in a couple of other Southern states before and it was not this ... confusing.
Sorry folks, but this is one of the most NARROW MINDED, ignorant, places I've ever seen in my life.
I can't figure out if it's the times we're in... or if half the population here were dropped on their heads when young. (Or perhaps, yesterday.)
This is an EXTREMELY homophobic place.
It has one of the weirdest types of racism I've ever encountered.
Most of your interactions ... or should I say your African adopted child's interactions... won't be the typical type of racism because NC is pretty good on the whole. (You can't escape it because it's woven so deeply into the fabric of our country that some people actually think its not there.)
What the child will experience is a HUGE piece of Internalized racism from other blacks here.
I really hate to say it, but because the Carolinas were one of the first places blacks were brought in, the "slave mentality" of pulling each other down is still very much alive here.
It's a dynamic that sits beneath the larger mainstream issue of natives Vs. transplants.
"You ain't from here" is huge.
It can feel like a lot of folks expect you to kiss their behinds... black and white... because ... well... because they're so special?? (I haven't quite figured out why they think this... maybe it's a nation wide dynamic of, "The Age of Narcissism."
There's a lot of low self-esteem issues that you can trigger without knowing it.
They've voted their secondary public schools into being the lowest rated in the nation.
Four out of the 15 fastest growing (downwards) impoverished cities are here in NC.
Truck drivers are the 7th worse in the nation because they like to tail gate you (bully behavior)
I know you want to get out of the snow, but I'd suggest that if you do move here, STAY in the Raleigh-Durham-CH area. Do not leave it. (I don't know anything about Charlotte, but I would think you'd find signs of intelligent life there too.)
If I were you, I'd either go no further south than Fredericksburg, Virginia, or perhaps one of the more progressive suburbs around Atlanta. And be prepared to interact with people who think a book written in the 2d century BC was designed to be historically correct and read literally.
To survive and even flourish do this:
Realize there's Haters everywhere and there's a ton here. IGNORE them.
Do not be fooled by the smiles. Gossip is king and they don't care how accurate it is.
The people skills you'll need is THICK skin and moving towards them.. not away. (You'll only encounter the idiots if you isolate... and there's really, REALLY, a lot of idiots of all stripes here.)
You're supposed to join a church. "We like our baseball and our churches." It's where you'll make friends and there are some churches in the Winston-Salem area that understand the Old Testament is part of the Torah and it's coded with Hebrew meaning, numerology, astrology, and allegorical mythology, hence Sodom and Gomorrah has little or nothing to do with sexuality (HOW DO YOU RAPE AN ANGEL?!!?) and "Jesus" in the "CHRISTIAN" part of the NEW Testament only said six things about homosexuality and none prohibited it... so warning ... be prepared. You're going back in a lazier thinking time.
There will be some dunderheads who'll ask you what state you're from, then think that if they conquer you, they've somehow "conquered" the entire state you ... just .. left ...
Notice how many NEGATIVE replies this message attracts. A lot of people here can't think a thought until they find something to be against, yet they'll continue the behavior and justify it.
Pull up, MeetUP and observe the types of topics people are trying to meet each other around .. and the lack of some you may be used to.
Do NOT try to change them. Most are NOT deep thinkers and they've been taught through fear and aversion to adhere to the status quo.
The plus sides?
It's BEAUTIFUL
There ARE good people here... you'll just have to hunt them out. (Don't leave the R-D-CH area.)
NO TRAFFIC. Occasionally there's a bit, but nothing like you're used to.
PARKING!! I heard a guy on the radio complaining about the increase in parking fees. HA! Lots of free or really low cost parking compared to what you're used to.
More laid back lifestyle.
There are some great universities and a few good restaurants.
You will--if tenacious--be able to create a good life here, but it's going to take time. Longer than you're used to.
Well, that's quite the diatribe. I'll just point out that your experience and opinions are dramatically different than most of the transplanted posters on here, and from those I interact with in "real life". So, I definitely take exception your statement that "most" transplants share your opinions.
Although I don't take that book written in the 2nd century BC literally, there is a line from it that comes to mind regarding your situation... "Whatever a mans sows, that also he will reap". I firmly believe ones negativity towards others produces negativity back.
In any event, I certainly hope you're plotting your escape from this horrendous place...I know I wouldn't spend 5 more minutes somewhere I disdain that much.
omg ... I've lived here for two years and like most transplants, we feel it's one of the most difficult states to adapt to. I've lived in a couple of other Southern states before and it was not this ... confusing.
Sorry folks, but this is one of the most NARROW MINDED, ignorant, places I've ever seen in my life.
I can't figure out if it's the times we're in... or if half the population here were dropped on their heads when young. (Or perhaps, yesterday.)
This is an EXTREMELY homophobic place.
It has one of the weirdest types of racism I've ever encountered.
Most of your interactions ... or should I say your African adopted child's interactions... won't be the typical type of racism because NC is pretty good on the whole. (You can't escape it because it's woven so deeply into the fabric of our country that some people actually think its not there.)
What the child will experience is a HUGE piece of Internalized racism from other blacks here.
I really hate to say it, but because the Carolinas were one of the first places blacks were brought in, the "slave mentality" of pulling each other down is still very much alive here.
It's a dynamic that sits beneath the larger mainstream issue of natives Vs. transplants.
"You ain't from here" is huge.
It can feel like a lot of folks expect you to kiss their behinds... black and white... because ... well... because they're so special?? (I haven't quite figured out why they think this... maybe it's a nation wide dynamic of, "The Age of Narcissism."
There's a lot of low self-esteem issues that you can trigger without knowing it.
They've voted their secondary public schools into being the lowest rated in the nation.
Four out of the 15 fastest growing (downwards) impoverished cities are here in NC.
Truck drivers are the 7th worse in the nation because they like to tail gate you (bully behavior)
I know you want to get out of the snow, but I'd suggest that if you do move here, STAY in the Raleigh-Durham-CH area. Do not leave it. (I don't know anything about Charlotte, but I would think you'd find signs of intelligent life there too.)
If I were you, I'd either go no further south than Fredericksburg, Virginia, or perhaps one of the more progressive suburbs around Atlanta. And be prepared to interact with people who think a book written in the 2d century BC was designed to be historically correct and read literally.
To survive and even flourish do this:
Realize there's Haters everywhere and there's a ton here. IGNORE them.
Do not be fooled by the smiles. Gossip is king and they don't care how accurate it is.
The people skills you'll need is THICK skin and moving towards them.. not away. (You'll only encounter the idiots if you isolate... and there's really, REALLY, a lot of idiots of all stripes here.)
You're supposed to join a church. "We like our baseball and our churches." It's where you'll make friends and there are some churches in the Winston-Salem area that understand the Old Testament is part of the Torah and it's coded with Hebrew meaning, numerology, astrology, and allegorical mythology, hence Sodom and Gomorrah has little or nothing to do with sexuality (HOW DO YOU RAPE AN ANGEL?!!?) and "Jesus" in the "CHRISTIAN" part of the NEW Testament only said six things about homosexuality and none prohibited it... so warning ... be prepared. You're going back in a lazier thinking time.
There will be some dunderheads who'll ask you what state you're from, then think that if they conquer you, they've somehow "conquered" the entire state you ... just .. left ...
Notice how many NEGATIVE replies this message attracts. A lot of people here can't think a thought until they find something to be against, yet they'll continue the behavior and justify it.
Pull up, MeetUP and observe the types of topics people are trying to meet each other around .. and the lack of some you may be used to.
Do NOT try to change them. Most are NOT deep thinkers and they've been taught through fear and aversion to adhere to the status quo.
The plus sides?
It's BEAUTIFUL
There ARE good people here... you'll just have to hunt them out. (Don't leave the R-D-CH area.)
NO TRAFFIC. Occasionally there's a bit, but nothing like you're used to.
PARKING!! I heard a guy on the radio complaining about the increase in parking fees. HA! Lots of free or really low cost parking compared to what you're used to.
More laid back lifestyle.
There are some great universities and a few good restaurants.
You will--if tenacious--be able to create a good life here, but it's going to take time. Longer than you're used to.
As Lewis Grizzard told many Yankee transplants, "Delta is ready when you are!"
Am a native northern New Englander that has lived in the south twice, once in NC and once in WV. If I had to do it again I would choose WV hands down. We lived in the Eastern Panhandle which is the fastest growing area of the state for four years. Cost of living, from the sounds of it, is WAY below that of CT. It was half the time to commute (I-81) to VT from WV than from NC (7.5 hours). I found overall COL in WV to be below that of even northern NE. You are in a four-state area and have DC and Baltimore not far away, either driving or by commuter rail, but far enough away where you are not right there. You have either rural or city, depending on which way you go. And four different states within a 1/2 hour drive. People were accepting and friendly. Granted Martinsburg and the eastern three counties (Morgan/Berkeley/Jefferson) were starting to build up, but were still nothing in comparison to large NE metro areas. And the weather gave you a definite 4-season climate, NOT as harsh or prolonged as New England, and with plenty of sunshine. Summers could produce some strong storms though. Worth checking out. Let me know, I can tell you more.
Sorry folks, but this is one of the most NARROW MINDED, ignorant, places I've ever seen in my life.
I can't figure out if it's the times we're in... or if half the population here were dropped on their heads when young. (Or perhaps, yesterday.)
This is an EXTREMELY homophobic place.
It has one of the weirdest types of racism I've ever encountered.
Most of your interactions ... or should I say your African adopted child's interactions... won't be the typical type of racism because NC is pretty good on the whole. (You can't escape it because it's woven so deeply into the fabric of our country that some people actually think its not there.)
What the child will experience is a HUGE piece of Internalized racism from other blacks here.
I really hate to say it, but because the Carolinas were one of the first places blacks were brought in, the "slave mentality" of pulling each other down is still very much alive here.
It's a dynamic that sits beneath the larger mainstream issue of natives Vs. transplants.
"You ain't from here" is huge.
It can feel like a lot of folks expect you to kiss their behinds... black and white... because ... well... because they're so special?? (I haven't quite figured out why they think this... maybe it's a nation wide dynamic of, "The Age of Narcissism."
I've been here 18 months and I've experienced exactly none of this.
Quote:
A lot of people here can't think a thought until they find something to be against
And it all depends on what part of WV one is in as well. Have lived in Beckley AND Martinsburg. Beckley in southern WV is more like western Virginia and even North Carolina culturally, it is so far south. Martinsburg is more like PA and Maryland and is very diverse (I think). Very mixed, ethnic-wise (lived and worked there 4 years) but the ethnic groups seem to get along quite well.
1. Those of you northerners who have moved south- how do you feel about it? Regrets? If you're further from family now- do you miss them? Is it not worth the division from family?
2. We love the warmth of SC- but the more liberal-oriented state of NC. We will be a mixed race family (due to our African adoption) and my husband transitioned from female to male 5 years ago. He seems male by ALL accounts- you would never know he wasn't born that way unless you saw his baby photos- and many people in our life have no idea unless we've told them- so we could "hide" this but we typically are people who like to not feel like we're keeping "secrets". It rarely comes up in conversation unless we're making true long term friends- but we also don't want to necessarily feel like we're hiding a secret. Would NC be warm enough for us? Would SC be way too conservative?
3. Lastly- we are looking to live in the country vs. suburbs but would like to be within 45 minutes or so of either a. a metro area where we could build a second business (we are hesitant about Raleigh due to the high concentration of photographers- even tho I love the triangle area) or b. a vacation destination (where we could attract vacationers). Any areas you would focus on?
* * * *
1. My partner and I moved to Asheville from Rockland County (had to get out of the insanity and for other reasons). I lived in Westchester, Rockland County, Ulster County and I think that was it in NY. We are Northerners and trying to shake some of that out of us. What's left of my base family (siblings) are in NY, NJ, and CT. We stay in touch and it's sufficient but we're a lot older than you. If you can visualize life away from family and friends, I'd try to do that and go with your gut.
1a. My partner misses her friends and family a lot and uses FaceBook (ugh to me) to stay in touch. I don't miss family. I miss the ability to get specialty foods - not a reason to prevent a move.
2. Don't move to Asheville but do come visit. There are pretty much two businesses here: tourism and hospitals .
It's liberal to progressive. It's oddly segregated and we both hate that and really didn't see the intensity of it until
we moved here. We live in a nice neighborhood, primarily Southern Baptist, and really haven't had any adverse reaction from anyone. You wouldn't have a problem with your family here but go back to my first sentence . We don't hide anymore. If people don't like us for who we are, they won't be in our lives.
3. I can't address this because my knowledge is from our research that we did in 1996/1997.
Good luck on your journey in life.
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. We don't hide anymore. If people don't like us for who we are, they won't be in our lives. 
