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Also, they have a smoother path to a future of being "an MIT/Caltech/Berkeley grad with a nice tech job with Asian GFs and spouses."
And lets not even go into how intelligence is stressed and embraced in nearly all of the various Asian communities. I won't even go into stories what some of the nerdiest Asian guys were doing with their Asian female "study buddies" during their "study breaks." No wonder why countries like Japan, S. Korea, and even China are technologically ahead of the US.
Aside from wondering why getting an Asian GF or spouse is the pinnacle of success ... If we're going to live in the realm of stereotypes here ... most of the actual Asian women I've seen seem to be rather ... non-submissive, like a Tiger Mom.
And this is the first I've heard of Asian kids doing wild stuff during the study breaks. Wouldn't the time spent doing these things be taking away from their math time?
We need more smart, nerd like, Black people around thugged out, ghetto, Black people in order to maintain some sense of balance and order in the community. The problem is that Black people just don't know anything about each other, so if you have any sense about you and you wear an actual suit and tie, instead of jeans and a t-shirt, there is a problem because people automatically assume that you think that you are better than they are. So they automatically have issues with you before you even speak, but how often do we really interact with them?
I forgot to respond to this part. In order for the smart, nerd-like black people to be accepted, it has to start in the home. If I am raised to believe that education is not cool then it really wouldn't matter how many of these smart types you put in my neighborhood because I won't see the value in them. Of course there are exceptions, but overall, it's the mentality that has to change not the demographics. That is the reason why there has been success stories of people who have grown up in the poorest of poor neighborhoods but still became successful. Your truth, your reality is in what you are being taught. It is very difficult to change the mindset of someone that has had a certain way of thinking since the day they were born.
Making a different choice is certainly a new way of looking at things. I don't think that someone choosing to live in PG county is doing so because they don't value education and success. Many people will tell you that they want to raise their family in the nicer parts of PG county versus VA because they want their children surrounded by black doctors and lawyers.
I don't have a lot of experience with the black elite but my hometown has a pretty large black middle class and there's still that fake hood mentality. I really saw it when I did substitute teaching. It was funny seeing kids being dropped off at school in Mercedes and Lexuses trying to act all hood. I haven't really noticed that in VA but I don't have kids so who knows?
Hmm...maybe it's not that they don't value education, maybe it's that they don't value education as highly as being in a predominantly black area. I mean how many times have we come on here to help someone find a place to live and we had to dig down into what they really desire. In this area, in these times, you are guaranteed to sacrifice something (cost, size of home, commute, schools, safety, etc.) in order to live where you are unless you have the means to choose your location without consequences. For some people, education just isn't as important as living in an area where people look like them. Does it make it wrong? Not necessarily but that's their reality. I would go out on a limb and say that if you are moving to PG County and you have school-age children, your top priority is probably not education unless you plan on sending your kids to private school and even that depends on which one.
Which makes the DC area not as racially progressive as it thinks it is. I give most of Northern VA credit for it being one of the few beacons of racial harmony. However, DC area employers have the tendency of hiring transplants from the Northeast and Midwest who tend to hold racist views. You don't have a bunch of Western and non-racist Southern transplants coming for the jobs, unlike how they're doing in places like Arizona, Colorado, and Texas. This is definitely causing NoVA to be diluted with elements that it doesn't need, and I hope they don't turn this place into another version of Long Island or suburban Milwaukee.
This is where I have to respectfully disagree. Northern VA has it's issues too. I have been subjected to quite a bit of racism, but admittedly it has only been in certain parts. Let's not make NoVA seem like a utopia because it's not. Every area has it's issues, but some are more tolerable than others.
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Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian
As for not finding blacks who one can relate to, I've dove in that pond enough, but I will say this. If every predominantly black place resembled Woodmore and Ft. Washington instead of Landover and Seat Pleasant, the "ain't black enough" conundrum wouldn't be much of an issue.
Goes back to my last point. Every area has it's issues. There are people in places like Fort Washington, who have their nose turned up. They believe they are the best of the best. They will drive around in the Mercedes, while their house is about to foreclose just to show people that they have made it. Sure Landover, Seat Pleasant, Suitland, Capitol Heights and other places have that ting of "ghettoiness" but I don't know how much I like being around fake uppity people who believe their butt doesn't stink.
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Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian
And there you go, you don't have to deal with commuting to DC and deal with the "not black enough" prejudice I deal with on a daily basis. I'll admit that's it's easier to deal with living in VA vs DC or PG, but dealing with the militant black BS while at work and commuting still makes this place a drag. You get to go to DC on your own discretion. Also, you moved from the general area where you had to deal with the issues. I'm still stuck here thanks to the Bush & Obama strategy of only creating jobs in and around Washington. You don't even see Obama moving Federal Gov't jobs to places that are "non-ghetto black friendly" like San Diego, Seattle, and Denver.
There probably isn't a place such as a non-ghetto black friendly. Places like San Diego and Seattle have ghetto areas too. I definitely agree that dealing with the militant black people can be much, but that's how the world is. People aren't going to change. I work around and have people in my family who look at you crazy if you talk bad about PG or President Obama. At the end of the day, these people aren't paying my bills, they aren't taking care of my family, or living in my home so I brush them off. I understand where you are coming from, but the way you are coming off in these responses is just being plain bitter. If you don't feel that being around black people is going to make you happy then don't. No one is holding a gun to your head. People will always complain, but it's YOUR LIFE. You have to be happy with the decisions that you make.
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Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian
And as offensive as that is, it 10x more offense to get disowned for doing things to improve your life by the exact community that stresses "unity in ethnicity."
I feel like with statements like this, you're looking for approval from black people. Again if they aren't contributing to your life then why does it matter?
I would go out on a limb and say that if you are moving to PG County and you have school-age children, your top priority is probably not education unless you plan on sending your kids to private school and even that depends on which one.
The family I referred to in the post Terrence responded to were proud RPI alums, were active in the alum association, etc. I think at least one of their kids were already off to college, I forget where.
I assume that upper middle class folks in PG county are knowledgeable about the best public schools there, and about the private school options. Its a fact that smart kids make it to the more selective colleges from a range of high schools, not just the most affluent suburban high schools in the "best" school systems.
But when it's black-on-black teasing about "acting white," it goes much deeper than someone teasing someone for being a nerd. There is such hate and disdain from those who do it. It's a "crabs in the barrel" mentality. They are so enraged to see someone doing better than they are, so they try to knock people who are doing well down. And one would think it'd stop and people would grow out of that, but it doesn't. I still have people give me grief because I don't sound like I belong in a rap video, or because I like things that don't necessarily constitute as "black," and because I care.
Years ago when I lived in DC proper, I was frustrated with the trash in my neighborhood, so I went to clean it up. People waiting at a bus stop thought it was so funny that I cared to clean up the trash. One guy in his car said, "Girl, you need help?" but he was in the left lane and only offered to help because he was hitting on me. I can't get over the ignorant mentality of people.
Now I live in the suburbs and there's hardly an issue with trash and people care about the environment, but there's still no connection. When I lived in DC, I was around people of my race but felt divided because of different beliefs, and now I live around people who are a similar class but we're divided by race. There's no real connection or balance here.
LOL your experience with trash mirrors mine. I worked at a hospital with a beautiful campus. One day I see this black woman getting off the bus and just hurling trash on the ground. The trash can is litterally two steps away. I say to her why would you just throw trash on the ground when there is a can right there. She just launches into a profanity laced invective. I just shook my head and kept walking. It's the culture it truly is and before someone says well white folks litter too. I know thank you.
Wow, this was a very enlightening thread. Glad I took the time to read it, and thankful for everyone's comments on it. My husband and I are white and our daughter is biracial (black/white); yes, we adopted. We will be moving to the east coast in the near future, and are trying to decide between the NOVA area and the Columbia, MD area. We really, really believe its vital for our daughter to live in a diverse area. But the lack of AA's in NOVA makes me wonder if its "black enough". It honestly never really occurred to me that my daughter could experience prejudice from her own race. I mean, I have been so busy protecting her from crazy white people that I never really thought living near a large population of educated black people could be a problem for her. I don't know what its like to be black, and I am afraid by her having white parents that my daughter will stick out... like she's "trying to be white". So, my question... where would you move if you were me? Maryland or NOVA? I'm not expecting some racial harmony in which my family will be embraced. We just want to raise our daughter to have a healthy identity, and even though she's biracial, the world will always see her as black. Any advice on Maryland vs. NOVA based on what you know? Thanks so much. This is such a sensitive topic, and I'm still learning...
Columbia is going downhill. Section 8 trash from Baltimore has moved in there were like two murders there last week. She'll be ok in Nova and frankly her being biracial with two white parents in a majority black setting in a county like PG may result in thousands of dollars in therapy down the road.
One thing that bothers me is when we talk about issues in the community as if other races do not have those same issues. You have to spend a lot of time in other communities, sometimes as the only minority, to realize what issues those other communities have. Most times the person speaking the loudest, has not spent any time, or very little, around other racial groups at all.
Give me a break there are issues and then there are issues. Also it is a matter of degree if you don't see that or are not willing to concede that there are fundamental structural problems in the black community you are in my opinion part of the problem not the solution.
Since you refuse to even admit there is a problem. Maybe you don't see anything wrong with Blacks making up only 12% of the population but nearly half of the murder victims and suspects in this country. Or you don't see anything wrong with the perpetual educational gap between Blacks and Whites.
Give me a break there are issues and then there are issues. Also it is a matter of degree if you don't see that or are not willing to concede that there are fundamental structural problems in the black community you are in my opinion part of the problem not the solution.
Since you refuse to even admit there is a problem. Maybe you don't see anything wrong with Blacks making up only 12% of the population but nearly half of the murder victims and suspects in this country. Or you don't see anything wrong with the perpetual educational gap between Blacks and Whites.
So I am part of the problem because I am not bitching about the problems in the Black community? As if. Those problems are not going to go away. They were there before I was even born. I haven't seen anything change in 30 years. Oh yeah now we have a Black President, as if that means anything. It was bull**** back in the 80s as a kid and it is bull**** today. We know what the drug game is, but we continue to deal with it. Most of us, that have arrived, have some distant cousin that is still out on the streets but no one is going to do anything to change it. Some of the same people on the Internet bitching about the problems of the hood have a lot to say online but won't do anything in person because they don't want to have any problems where they live. So it means nothing, so if that makes it easier to stay out in the suburbs, which is essentially what NoVa is, regardless of how they choose to identify themselves then so be it.
If you don't want to live around thugged out Black people that is your personal choice. Personally, if you have the money to live in a different neighborhood then I don't see why you would choose to, particularly if you do not have anything in common with those Black folk.
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