Married NoVA moms can't afford to work; childcare costs major culprit (Fairfax: daycare, attorney)

[The Dissenter]

Moms: I can't afford to work - Apr. 18, 2012

Andrea Hayken, 34, made about $45,000 a year as a third grade teacher in the Fairfax, Va. county public school system. But licensed daycare for her now four-year-old son would have cost $2,000 a month, eating up nearly half of her before-tax income.

Since her husband, an attorney, earned more money than she did, it made more sense for Hayken to be the one to stay home.

"When all was said and done, there just wasn't enough money to make [working] worth it," she said.

Thoughts NoVA?

[marie5v]

That's exactly my situation and the situation of almost all the other non-working moms that I know. What a difference it would make if childcare were convenient and affordable. We just do not live in a "family-friendly" country.

[ChristineVA]

Yes, this happens and I have known several women who have dropped out of the workforce due to this.

Back when my kids were in daycare (a LONG time ago--early to mid 1990s), I was probably making about $45,000 to $50,000 then. Even though daycare took a large portion of my income, I still came out ahead and decided to stick it out. Daycare costs take up about 13 of your 40 years working. The highest rates charged are for the first few years. During that time, while you aren't making much of a "profit" working, you are still having money going into retirement for yourself, have access to benefits, and are continually building your experience and tenure in your field. While you can't see it immediately, dropping out of the workforce for 5, 10, 15 years has HUGE ramifications on your future ability to earn money, save for retirement, etc. I advocate sticking it out unless you truly are starving to pay for daycare. Unless of course, you don't really want to work, then different story.

[CaliTerp07]

$2,000 * 10 = $20,000
$45-20 = $25k

$25k isn't worth working for? We have different definitions of what's worth it. That's a hefty chunk of money (and retirement, and benefits, and seniority) to give up. On top of that, there are childcare options that cost less than $2k/month.

If you want to stay home with your child, do it--but I don't think in this case, the finances are the reason she chose to stay home. Teaching is the exception, but in just about all careers, taking 5 years off is detrimental to career growth and promotions, and makes it difficult to get back into the industry. Any money you'd "save" by not paying for childcare is negated when you look at lost promotions and raises and such.

[Caladium]

To be honest, I think this area has benefited from having so many stay at home moms and dads.

First, let me note this isn't the only reason parents are at home--some work at home, some are looking for jobs, some are from other countries and aren't allowed to work in the US, etc. But, I've certainly met plenty of stay at home parents who said they didn't work because between tax issues and the cost of childcare, commuting, etc. it they weren't making enough money to make it worthwhile for both parents to work.

As for the benefit--neighborhoods are safer when plenty of adults are at home during the day. Criminals prefer to target streets where nobody's around. Adults get to know their neighbors better when they're at home, since they go to the gym or take breaks to go for walks or simply make friends waiting at the school bus stop. Also, fewer commuters are on the road and stores are less congested (since the stay-at-home crowd shops during the day).

I usually work part time (unless a big work order comes in) and so am home a good part of the day. When I'm home I'm usually out gardening and that means I've been around to see kids getting into mischief a few times and put a stop to it before things got out of hand. Also, one time a kid who was being bullied became my gardening helper for a while and he eventually grew up to become a landscape designer. So I feel that being at home let me help pass on some of my knowledge.

[chariega]

25k isn't worth the hassle for a lot of people. It's basically doing full-time work for half the pay. So I can see why a lot of women (or men) would consider just staying home and saving themselves the stress of having to commute, go to work, pick the kids up from daycare, come home and help with homework, fix dinner, and then find time to unwind after being up since 5 in the morning.

[hilsmom]

agreed with the previous posts - and I think the "I'm married to a lawyer" woman isn't likely to have to make the same financial decisions and lifestyle changes that other families would face in this same circumstance.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by CaliTerp07

$2,000 * 10 = $20,000
$45-20 = $25k

$25k isn't worth working for? We have different definitions of what's worth it. That's a hefty chunk of money (and retirement, and benefits, and seniority) to give up. On top of that, there are childcare options that cost less than $2k/month.

If you want to stay home with your child, do it--but I don't think in this case, the finances are the reason she chose to stay home. Teaching is the exception, but in just about all careers, taking 5 years off is detrimental to career growth and promotions, and makes it difficult to get back into the industry. Any money you'd "save" by not paying for childcare is negated when you look at lost promotions and raises and such.

I think that was $45k before taxes. Add in commuting costs, taxes, and other deductions, she'll be lucky to be taking home $28-30k a year. Than the net benefit is $8k a year which you have to decide whether it is worth working yourself to the bone for.

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by chariega

25k isn't worth the hassle for a lot of people. It's basically doing full-time work for half the pay. So I can see why a lot of women (or men) would consider just staying home and saving themselves the stress of having to commute, go to work, pick the kids up from daycare, come home and help with homework, fix dinner, and then find time to unwind after being up since 5 in the morning.

As opposed to doing full time work (child care) for no pay.

I get it, there are emotional/non tangible benefits to staying home, but there are also emotional/non tangible benefits to working.

If you don't want to be a working parent, don't do it.

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

I think that was $45k before taxes. Add in commuting costs, taxes, and other deductions, she'll be lucky to be taking home $28-30k a year. Than the net benefit is $8k a year which you have to decide whether it is worth working yourself to the bone for.

$8k for 5 years. Then when kiddo is in school and the daycare costs are rapidly shrinking, she still has a job, has funded her retirement for 5 years, has seniority, has probably had pay raises (though maybe not, in teaching), etc.

It's HARD to get back into the work force after 5 years off. I'm watching a lot of my friends struggle with it right now. The ones who stuck it out and worked at least part time while they had young kids are finding jobs much easier than the ones who have not had their hands in the industry for 5+ years.