Raising a family on one income in DC (Alexandria, Manassas: purchase, schools)

[ChristineVA]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

I can't imagine couples living with parents but I can see kids right out of school whose parents live here doing it particularly in close-in neighborhoods near where they've gotten jobs.

I've had to do it three times.

1. When my husband got out of the Air Force. We were in Japan and there was no way to look for jobs or get stabilized while in the military. So, we essentially had to start over. We lived with my parents for one year. We both got jobs pretty quickly and were able to buy our first home after one year (yes, the late 80s were a great time).

2. When I sold my first home and bought my second home. My first home sold in 3 weeks, my new home wouldn't be ready until 6 months later. It actually worked out great for me. I had a 3 year old and was newly pregnant with HORRIBLE "all day" sickness. Still had to work full time. It was a relief having my parents around.

3. My parents moved from their home to a new home. Again, another 6 month gap between the old home selling and the new home being ready. Two little kids for at that point so it was great having some extra hands there.

[jillybean720]

I never lived with my parents after I graduated from college (even my last semester at college, I technically lived in a rented off-campus house but still went home for breaks). My husband and I only rented an apartment together for two years before buying our first home. We were able to qualify for a first time homebuyers program that allowed 0 down with no PMI. We bought our current SFH with negative equity in our townhouse (which is why we still own it), but we put 10% down this time. It's not always easy, but it can certainly be done without profitably selling a previous home and without living with parents.

[CAVA1990]

My wife and I would have lived in a cardboard box under a bridge before moving in with our parents. However that was just our own thing and I can understand how others might not be so repelled by the idea.

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

My wife and I would have lived in a cardboard box under a bridge before moving in with our parents. However that was just our own thing and I can understand how others might not be so repelled by the idea.

Haha, I feel like we were the same way. I love both my parents and my in laws greatly (really, we have fantastic relationships with both sets of parents!) but no way were we going to move back in with them. We got married quite young (22/23) and were eager to live as adults, not go back to being children. Some of these househunters couples seem to live in separate wings of the (ginormous) mid west houses, or in basement apartments with separate kitchens, and maybe that makes it less like moving back into your childhood bedroom. I don't know.

Mute point, as we didn't have the choice. We both had jobs in DC, and my parents are in Santa Barbara, his were in Baltimore. We weren't going to give up good jobs (or try to find new ones in those cities) just to save a couple thousand a month. We still managed to buy a house here within 3.5 years of being married, even though I had to quit my job and pay for grad school. We just prioritized saving saving saving.

[IndiaLimaDelta]

Originally Posted by CaliTerp07

Mute point

.?

Some of you mentioned the difficulty of young couples being able to save enough to buy a home in this region, even with relatively high incomes. I think perhaps we are beginning to see a tiny little taste of this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/re...me&ref=general

Thankfully we are more of a giant suburbia than NYC ever was, is and will be and our Gini coefficient is such that we have a very wide band in the middle, so it may never come to that here, but it's a food for thought for those who relentlessly push urbanization in this region.

[CAVA1990]

In my family we tended to live with siblings if we fell on hard times, wanted to save money, or to rent a bigger, nicer place. I wonder why that's not discussed as an alternative. I guess it doesn't sound as dramatic to the media as people having to move back in with mom and dad.

[ChristineVA]

I guess I'm lucky in that my parents are pretty cool. The three times we've lived with them for various reasons (they needed to live with us once), it just really worked out. They never butted into my business, never told me how to run my life, never were overbearing. Nothing. It helped that both of them were working full-time but it was just never an issue. And they never tried to parent me. I guess that's because I had lived on my own for 5-6 years before I had to come back.

[FCNova]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

In my family we tended to live with siblings if we fell on hard times, wanted to save money, or to rent a bigger, nicer place. I wonder why that's not discussed as an alternative. I guess it doesn't sound as dramatic to the media as people having to move back in with mom and dad.

We did it. I'm not sure the media has anything to do with it. I reckon in most situations mom and dad would typically have a bigger home and are more able to take in their kids than siblings who are at similar stages in life would be. I know that was the case in our situation.

I understand how some people could be unwilling to do it. I wouldn't want to do it for any extended period of time e.g. longer than 6 months because personal space is extremely valuable, even though I've got a good relationship with my parents. But for the short term it really makes the process of selling one place and buying another much easier. One of my close friends and his wife are actually currently doing this at the very moment.

[hilsmom]

sure, if you have any family member in the location you need to be. It makes sense.

I have no siblings and my BIL lives with his parents already, so siblings will never be an option for us And it is entirely possible my parents might wind up with us for a while (they are trying to move back north from SC) - I already call our guest room "my parents' room" anyway...

I suppose I could have moved in with my extended family when I first moved here, but my rent was less than $300/month by living with 2 friends in Huntington. After getting married, though...that was 5 years later.

[claremarie]

"We both had jobs in DC, and my parents are in Santa Barbara"

If my parents had lived in Santa Barbara, I might have made an exception to the "will never move back home" rule I adopted in college.