Battling Homesickness (Washington: rent, how much, find a job)

[Caladium]

I've been hearing about homesickness a lot lately.

It used to be that people moved here because they were attracted to the area or because they wanted an adventure, they wanted to experience new things. But now that the economy is bad, we see many people are moving here just for jobs. Many of them hate to leave their city. After they get here, some find they miss the town they left behind much more than they thought they would.

So I thought it might be helpful to post a few ideas for battling homesickness. Here's one that worked for me:

Before you move, pick a few vendors from your hometown that are willing to ship you food or merchandise. Even if you have to pay a little extra to get the apple chutney, or a box of hometown pretzels, or whatever it is that reminds you of home, there's nothing like seeing a familiar item from your old neighborhood. The same goes for your hometown newspaper. Subscribe for the first 3-4 months you're in NOVA (or, read the paper online). IMO it makes the transition easier. (And, it also helps remind you of the reasons you left. Sometimes nostalgia gives you a selective, rosy memory of what your former town is like.)

I also want to urge people to really think twice, even three times before moving here just to get a job. Don't give up on your home town so quickly, you might be able to find a job if you just stick it out a little longer. The economy is improving and there are jobs out there. Moving to a new state is a big change. Are you sure you want to move here? Don't get me wrong, I love NOVA. But I want the people moving here to love NOVA too (or at least like it ). It worries me when I see so many people just coming here for a job.

And if you do decide to move here, be open to trying something new. NOVA's not going to be exactly like the town you left behind, make a decision that you're ok with this. Give new things a chance (and by a chance I mean at least a few years).

If you do experience homesickness, recognize it for what it is. Don't go blaming Virginia because you're homesick. You can come on this forum and post "NOVA sucks, I'm sorry I left Detroit" but that's not going to relieve homesickness. Usually that just makes you feel even more depressed.

[Yankeesfan]

You could go to a baseball game to see your old hometown team beat the Nationals. Or go to Baltimore to watch them beat the Orioles.

[normie]

Originally Posted by Yankeesfan

You could go to a baseball game to see your old hometown team beat the Nationals. Or go to Baltimore to watch them beat the Orioles.

LOL, I like this one! Funny joke, and I bet it would work, too.

[car54]

Originally Posted by FromVAtoNC

....It used to be that people moved here because they were attracted to the area or because they wanted an adventure, they wanted to experience new things. But now that the economy is bad, we see many people are moving here just for jobs. Many of them hate to leave their city. After they get here, some find they miss the town they left behind much more than they thought they would.

When was that?

In my 56 years here, I have NEVER met anyone that moved here for any reason other than a job. I take that back, I've known folks that came here to attend college and stayed for a job. Or were here in the military, got out, and stayed for a job. Or moved here to marry someone that came here for a job. Or to be near a family member that came here for a job.

This was a sleepy southern town until World War II, when massive numbers of people came here to work for Uncle Sam or his contractors. This in-migration has been picking up steam ever since....much to the dismay of those who remember how it was.

Sure, a lot of them are homesick, but the sad fact is that in many of the coolest places, you simply can't make a living. Millions of people have had to tough it out here for 30 years, retire, and then move back home. It sucks, but staying home asking, "You want fries with dat?....or "Welcome to WalMart" for the rest of their lives sucks even worse...IMO.


edit to add: I'm not trying to make like my family goes back to Gearge Washington....my father got out of the Navy in 1946 and moved here FOR A JOB....better opportunities here than back home in Connecticut...

[terrence81]

I can definitely relate. Leaving home was something that I had wanted to do since 15. I hated my life and my fairly well paying job. I felt trapped I couldn't leave but couldn't continue being miserable but in a small city where is one going to get another white collar job with no degree (was in school part time working full time took me 8 years to graduate college) Last semester had to leave the job in order to graduate only to find out I still had to stay an extra semester to complete my internship.

Actually not having a job made me appreciate my hometown more. I had more time to go downtown for trivia night at the coffee shop, visit with friends, bar hop as best one could in a small city, lazily browse books I couldn't afford with no money at Barnes and Noble and rediscovered my hometown. I got into a great relationship and got a new roommate who didn't have loud parties. So life was good except for the no money part. I got an opportunity to come up here and with no way to pay the rent on my own for the next month I felt that I had no choice but to take it. So here I am. Be careful what you wish for. I love it here and don't plan to go back but I definitely miss the personal connections I had back home. I'm trying to make friends but it's not the same and never will be.

At the end of the day job opportunities keep me here but at the same time I do like it here. I'm definitely a big city person. I like to go out and drink. I like hooking up and I like the cultural opportunities here. I like being to have random political debates in bars with strangers. I like the fact that I have a bachelors degree and want a nice place in the suburbs is a good thing versus making me stuck up or "trying to act white." So there are benefits to living here. But yeah I totally miss home. Maybe I need to go eat at more soul food restaurants.

[athousandlogins]

Originally Posted by terrence81

(was in school part time working full time took me 8 years to graduate college)

I love it here and don't plan to go back but I definitely miss the personal connections I had back home. I'm trying to make friends but it's not the same and never will be.

At the end of the day job opportunities keep me here but at the same time I do like it here. I'm definitely a big city person. I like to go out and drink. I like hooking up and I like the cultural opportunities here. I like being to have random political debates in bars with strangers.

Yeah, I agree with all this. Even with the college part - took me almost 10 years, part-time, but I also kept switching majors. Six colleges, six majors...it's a wonder I ever finished!

I love it here and consider this my home now, but I miss those personal connections, like you said. I went back North to visit my family not long ago and it was REALLY hard to come back. Not because I don't like it here - in fact while I was North, I kind of missed it here! - but because even my closest friends in NoVA aren't my family, and aren't the same as people who have known me for years and years and years like the people back North. I don't get homesick for geographic location, but I do get homesick for people.

(That said, some clam cakes and chowder always makes me feel a little better about this..."home" foods work wonders no matter where you're from...)

[normie]

Originally Posted by car54

When was that?

In my 56 years here, I have NEVER met anyone that moved here for any reason other than a job.

Well, howdy neighbor. Can't believe you've never met me before.

FWIW, I moved here from Redondo Beach, California after making several business trips out here. Ever time I travelled here I'd notice how much I liked northern Virginia, and finally one day we decided to move here. My husband was able to transfer his job so yes--you could say we moved here for a job. But he asked for the transfer because we wanted to move here.

Lived here for about a decade, then when I retired we moved to a retirement home in the Georgia mountains.

It sure was pretty in the mountains but guess what--I found out that I really, really love northern Virginia. So, after a year I moved back to NOVA. For no other reason than because I like it here.

[yamota]

well, look at the bright side; at least you don't live in somalia

[car54]

Originally Posted by normie

Well, howdy neighbor. Can't believe you've never met me before.

FWIW, I moved here from Redondo Beach, California after making several business trips out here. Ever time I travelled here I'd notice how much I liked northern Virginia, and finally one day we decided to move here. My husband was able to transfer his job so yes--you could say we moved here for a job. But he asked for the transfer because we wanted to move here.

Lived here for about a decade, then when I retired we moved to a retirement home in the Georgia mountains.

It sure was pretty in the mountains but guess what--I found out that I really, really love northern Virginia. So, after a year I moved back to NOVA. For no other reason than because I like it here.

Then it's true! There's a first time for everything! LOL

[Flamingo13]

Originally Posted by Yankeesfan

You could go to a baseball game to see your old hometown team beat the Nationals. Or go to Baltimore to watch them beat the Orioles.

LOL - true and the Pirates did beat them (Pirates are bad but not THAT bad)