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we are considering putting in for orders to hawaii, we want to live somewhere different and have our son exposed to another culture. we have some friends who live there now and love it, but they don't have kids.. we already know we can find housing within our budget (we have no pets, so that won't be an issue) and are aware of the cost of living, and none of that is a deal breaker for us..
my concern is finding schools close to pearl harbor that are decent (that will be our deciding factor when choosing a home to rent) i know the schools there aren't great, but i will supplement my son's education at home as much as i can, it will only be for a few years, so kindergarten through 2nd grade at the most. private school is not an option.. i have read on here about kids getting beat up by local kids on the playground.. is that really going to be an issue, even in the better schools? i mean obviously i know bullying happens, but people act like any mainland kids are going to hate living there and have no friends.. we really want him exposed to the culture of the island (for example i wouldn't consider him being exposed to local dialect in the classroom to be a negative by any means) but i also don't want him to have too much trouble making friends.. i know some military kids have an elitist chip on their shoulder that they get from their parents, and i can see why those kids have a hard time, why should locals be nice to you if you are coming into their space and disrespecting their culture? but we aren't one of those families, so i was just wondering how hard it is for mainland kids to make friends.
so any insight into that/recommendations for an elementary school would be fantastic!
thank you for any input!
Curious about this as well. We will be moving there in a few months. We have a 14yo, 8 yo and 8m baby. Some places I've read it seems bad and other places I've read it's not that big of a deal. From what I have read it seems like the younger the kids are more friendly. Most of the issues are among high school kids. Then you have new faces of different races mixed with teenage Horomones...not the best combination. (Just going off what I have read, I would love to know others real opinions) my 9th grader is a social butterfly. I'm not too worried about him. My 3rd grader is very shy and reserved. She may have more of an issue. She does gymnastics and I hope that the extra activities will help her make friends. I have read that people advise you to get them involved in activities as soon as possible. It will help them make friends as well as you making new friends too. We plan on doing that. I was looking at demographics for the schools etc some schools have as many as 22% Caucasians others as low as 12%. We are not racist. My kids had not been a minority either. So... We will be preparing them mentally for that. Just looking at a gymnastics picture of all of the gymnasts from a particular gym... There were 4 Caucasians in a picture of about 40 kids.
All of that being said. I can't help but be concerned bc I'm a mom and that's my nature... To protect. I am looking forward to the experience. I think exposing your kids to other cultures makes them well rounded individuals hopefully if we are respectful to the cultures there and not coming with the mind set to bring the mainland ways with us we will fit in ok. Fingers crossed none of our kids have trouble fitting in or making friends! Good luck!
Kindergarten is a good time to enter school. Everyone is new at that time.
It is easiest to make friends in some sort of activity or hobby and it sure helps to already be friendly with a few people before stepping foot in the school. There are plenty of activities for a little child to participate in. I suggest signing up for some of them and hope to get some relationships established early.
That age, friendships tend to be pretty fluid. Groups form and reform.
Klein, I suggest something that is extremely confidence building , like martial arts lessons for your shy one. It won't stop her form being shy but will give her that aura that stops the bullies from singling her out.
Don't really agree with the aura thing. Don't think it works here. Might be dangerous.
If you're only going to be here a few years and your children will be elementary throughout, those schools are the best of the public schools - I'm sure some are better than others. If you stay where the military residents are thick, it should be a non-issue.
That's a great idea. She has lots of muscle being a gymnast. She is very strong but she gets embarrassed easily And is soft hearted. For example she got teased last year for having the biggest arm muscles in her class, she was very upset. At home she's totally different. If I can't get something open she will say 'mom just hand it to me, you know I'm stronger than you anyway' lol and then she will open it! The confidence building would be a great idea for her personality type. I don't think it would give her a 'mean' look to her but it may help her not be as easily picked on.
We are AA and lived on Oahu for over 12 years (left in 2011). My youngest son went to high school there and my grandson went to pre-school and elementary school there. Neither of them had difficulty with making friends and the only time there was any type of racial incident, it was caused by a caucasion child, probably espousing something learned at home. He (the caucasion child) did end of being ostracized for a short period of time at the school by other children of all races; however, he eventually was brought back into the elementary community, but that was after a couple of discussions between us, the administrators and the other set of parents. It was eventually my grandson and others that invited him to a summer party that got that ball rolling.
And this is where I think I fall, if you have any of those "tendencies" you WILL have an issue. As I mentioned we're AA, and all of my children have always been one of two three maybe up to 10 at every school either on the Mainland or in Hawaii; and that was the case up till high school. We always know, just based on where we tend to live, that we will be one of a few or even the "only." It's what you and your child(ren) bring into each situation.
My son who was born in Hawaii and then returned there for high school still have great friendships that he's maintained. My grandson communicates with his friends via skype and video games. We as adults have great friends that we plan to continue for sometime to come. Our plan is to eventually return to Hawaii for good.
just on this forum in different threads.. someone mentioned island kids being mean to local kids on the playground, and then i saw a different thread mentioning a specific incident where a friend's 6 year old was hurt by 3 other girls. i don't remember the specific threads..
thank you everyone, for the input i had assumed that because he would be entering school at such a young age that it would be a non-issue, and then the things i saw made me second guess myself. but people tend to exaggerate things like that.. i feel like he will be fine. we're really excited about the opportunity to expose him to different cultures.
Hickam has an elementary school, but I think that is just for base housing?
Maybe this site:
Hawaii is the #50 largest school system in the United States, serving 179,601 students across 289 public schools. There are 19 Blue Ribbon Schools, 31 charter schools, and 2 special education schools. Minority enrollment is 86% of the student body. View schools by county below or specify additional school search criteria.
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You've already gotten some great responses, but I'll add my two cents. Obviously, no one can guarantee how any child will adjust to a big move, change of schools, etc. Our family has been in Honolulu for six years and I know it would be a huge shock to the system for our child to move back to the mainland. It is different here, and not in a bad way, in my opinion. Our child's school is very diverse, the after school activities and sport teams the same. I am not sure my child even recognizes that diversity, it just is. I had my child and three friends at the beach last weekend and it was a total mix of backgrounds. I took a picture of them all grinning with their boogie boards and I thought it was beautiful and wish the rest of the world could be that way! Personally, I love that my child is growing up exposed to different cultures, traditions, languages, etc. If your family is open to that then you will do fine, I think.
Can I promise your children will never stick out, feel different? No, of course, not. My child has other students coming (mostly exchange students, but some locals too) up at school to touch her long blonde hair and stroke it. She has other students bringing their bento boxes and spam musubi for lunch while she's eating her PB & J. At her b-day party while they were trading off listening to their different Ipod playlists lots of the songs were K- pop or Japanese anime songs. Shopping at Ala Moana the kids are just as likely to beg for "bubble drinks" from Shirokiya as they are a cookie. Whenever entering a friend's house we take our shoes off. All other moms are "Auntie". To her, it's all good. For a child used to a more mainland feel, it will be a whole new set of experiences. And, that's a good thing, right?
Best of luck to you and your family!
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hopefully if we are respectful to the cultures there and not coming with the mind set to bring the mainland ways with us we will fit in ok. Fingers crossed none of our kids have trouble fitting in or making friends! Good luck!
