[OkieWolf]

This thread is for stories from folks who have grown up in Oklahoma. Share some of your childhood stories and/or what it was like for you growing up here.

[OkieWolf]

Squirrels are very cute with their puffy little tail and little button nose. But what people seldom ever see is the claws and teeth that these guys possess. Believe me, you don't want them to get hold of you. And yes, I have experienced this unique form of pain. Let me share.

I used to haul hay when I was a teenager. It was a way for us to make money each summer. A buddy of mine had a hay truck and we had been hauling all night. It was the next morning and we hadn't had any sleep and were headed back to the hay field. So, needless to say, we were a little delirious. A squirrel ran across the road as we passed by. We didn't run over it but it had timed it just right and it ran into the wheel and knocked himself silly. For whatever reason, we stopped to go look at it....maybe it was the delirium.

The squirrel was sort of leaned over on the road. We walked up to it and just stared at it but it didn't move. So, me being the mental giant that I am, decided that it would be a good idea to reach down and touch the squirrel. I'm just glad that I'm from the country so that nobody was around, except my buddy, to see the next set of events. As I've said before, an injured or scared animal is a dangerous animal but teenagers rarely feel a sense of danger about anything. The very second my right hand touched the squirrel he whirled around, buried his claws in my hand, and proceeded to chew on my fingers like they were French fries. My buddy laughed until he couldn't breathe and I'm sure it was quite funny watching me hop all around and scream like a girl with a squirrel attached to my hand. I finally managed to shake him loose. He ran over to the edge of the trees and just looked at us, as if to say "c'mon, you want some more?!". By now I'm bleeding quite a bit and rather in shock at what just happened and of course my "buddy" wouldn't stop laughing.

I share this act of sheer stupidity to demonstrate the fact that even someone like me, who has grown up in the woods, can have a lapse in judgment where wildlife is concerned. Even though I was a teenager, I knew better. The point here is that even though you may think you know what you're doing and what will happen, you really don't. So, think about this the next time you get the urge to try to hand feed a squirrel, or any wild animal, and remember that they really don't want to be your friend. They are only coming near you in hopes of getting food. And, by all means, NEVER touch or try to pet a wild animal. They ARE NOT domesticated like dogs or cats and they never will be.

[Synopsis]

Good thread OkieWolf. When I have time, I'll post one (or several) of my own accounts.

[colleeng47]

I love this thread! I was born and raised in NJ, but I look forward to hearing the stories of my new Okie neighbors.

OkieWolf, I loved your story. It was really funny -- but you know, you're lucky you didn't end up with rabies. Squirrels carry that disease.

[OkieWolf]

Yea, I know. The next 10 days were....interesting, waiting to see if I started foaming at the mouth. My mom said I surely must have it....teenage boys aren't known for taking baths often enough....rabies....hydrophobia....fear of water....get it....

[Goodpasture]

course, you could have become a weresquirrel and created havoc in the pecan orchards...............

[OkieWolf]

Mom and Dad's house is on top of a high hill. We were never short of wind. I always thought that with all that wind combined with living up high on a hill like that surely I should be able to fly.

1st attempt :
I had those little army men with the parachutes on their back so that when you threw them up the parachute opened and they softly glided back to Earth. Hmmmm. So, naturally I got one of Mom's umbrellas and climbed on top of the house. But, it didn't appear to me that just jumping off the eave of the house would be high enough to do any good. So, I went up to the peak....you know, the highest part of the roof. I stood there and thought about it for a while....but decided to do it anyway. I mean c'mon, what could happen ?! I opened the umbrella, which by the way almost pulled me off the roof when it caught the wind. I re-steadied myself, stepped a little closer to the edge, held the umbrella up, and jumped.
I found out three things in doing this :
1). An umbrella will barely even slow you down
2). The peak of a roof is way to high to be jumping off with an umbrella
3). The ground really hurts when you hit it going Mach 5

2nd attempt :
Dad and I used to watch sports and stuff on TV on Sunday afternoons. Strangely one day we watched hang gliding. I say it was strange because now that I had recovered from plumeting to Earth and ending up in a fiery crash of mangled umbrella and teenage boy....I needed to figure this flying thing out and, here was my answer on my own TV screen. Brilliant! So, I set out trying to come up with a way to do it. Obviously I couldn't go buy a hang glider....no money. So, how could I do this....the country boy way, of course. I took a 4'x8' piece of plywood and knocked two holes in one end and two holes in the other. Then I took two lengths of rope. I took one rope and put it through the holes of one end and tied knots in the ends....so it wouldn't pull out . I then did the same to the other end. I leaned my new hang glider up against the chimney so that when I climbed up on the roof (yes, the roof again) I could pull it the rest of the way up. And so, that is exactly what I did. Once I wrestled it up on the roof I then had to pick a launch point. But, since the peak of the roof almost drove my legs into my rib cage I decided not to go that route this time. Instead I pulled the "hang glider" up to the center of the roof....well, I had to get a running start. I grabbed one rope in one hand and the other rope in the other hand so that now the plywood was across my back and my arms were spread-eagle. I ran down the slope of the roof and when I got to the edge I lunged forward into a perfect swan dive....for about 1 1/2 seconds. It was then that the wind caught the plywood. I must have done about 5 back flips before finally landing flat of back. Dad came out to see what all the commotion was. He just looked at me and said "what are you doing"? I answered back in a voice still gasping for air "nothing". He said "son, you're laying flat of your back in the yard strapped to a piece of plywood and your telling me you're not doing anything"? Again I said "nothing". He just shook his head, sort of laughed, and went back in the house. But, what was he supposed to do? If I found my son in that same condition I'm not sure I would really want to know what he was doing. And besides, I'm sure he could tell that I was in considerable pain and probably wouldn't do it again....whatever I was doing. After a while I was able to breathe normally again....or just breathe period. I sat there and pondered what could have possibly gone wrong? They did it on TV so why couldn't I? Nevermind the fact that a 4'x8' piece of plywood is about as air worthy as a brick. In my mind it should have caught the wind and I should have sailed gently and peacefully around just like a soaring hawk. But, as it turned out I finally decided that self-made flying contraptions were best left to somebody other than me.

[mkfarnam]

Originally Posted by OkieWolf

This thread is for stories from folks who have grown up in Oklahoma. Share some of your childhood stories and/or what it was like for you growing up here.

Then they won't have anything to say on the other threads and forums

[colleeng47]

OkieWolf, I'm just lovin' your stories! I really laughed at the last one because I have an 18 year old son who just got through making a 47 minute movie of stunts with his moron friends doing things just like you described. He calls his production company "Bone Breaker Films", and the title of the video is "Using Common Sense" -- if you can believe that. It really is quite funny, though. He made about 25 copies of it so far and has been selling them to his friends.

[mkfarnam]

Originally Posted by OkieWolf

Mom and Dad's house is on top of a high hill. We were never short of wind. I always thought that with all that wind combined with living up high on a hill like that surely I should be able to fly.

1st attempt :
I had those little army men with the parachutes on their back so that when you threw them up the parachute opened and they softly glided back to Earth. Hmmmm. So, naturally I got one of Mom's umbrellas and climbed on top of the house. But, it didn't appear to me that just jumping off the eave of the house would be high enough to do any good. So, I went up to the peak....you know, the highest part of the roof. I stood there and thought about it for a while....but decided to do it anyway. I mean c'mon, what could happen ?! I opened the umbrella, which by the way almost pulled me off the roof when it caught the wind. I re-steadied myself, stepped a little closer to the edge, held the umbrella up, and jumped.
I found out three things in doing this :


1). An umbrella will barely even slow you down
2). The peak of a roof is way to high to be jumping off with an umbrella
3). The ground really hurts when you hit it going Mach 5

2nd attempt :
Dad and I used to watch sports and stuff on TV on Sunday afternoons. Strangely one day we watched hang gliding. I say it was strange because now that I had recovered from plumeting to Earth and ending up in a fiery crash of mangled umbrella and teenage boy....I needed to figure this flying thing out and, here was my answer on my own TV screen. Brilliant! So, I set out trying to come up with a way to do it. Obviously I couldn't go buy a hang glider....no money. So, how could I do this....the country boy way, of course. I took a 4'x8' piece of plywood and knocked two holes in one end and two holes in the other. Then I took two lengths of rope. I took one rope and put it through the holes of one end and tied knots in the ends....so it wouldn't pull out . I then did the same to the other end. I leaned my new hang glider up against the chimney so that when I climbed up on the roof (yes, the roof again) I could pull it the rest of the way up. And so, that is exactly what I did. Once I wrestled it up on the roof I then had to pick a launch point. But, since the peak of the roof almost drove my legs into my rib cage I decided not to go that route this time. Instead I pulled the "hang glider" up to the center of the roof....well, I had to get a running start. I grabbed one rope in one hand and the other rope in the other hand so that now the plywood was across my back and my arms were spread-eagle. I ran down the slope of the roof and when I got to the edge I lunged forward into a perfect swan dive....for about 1 1/2 seconds. It was then that the wind caught the plywood. I must have done about 5 back flips before finally landing flat of back. Dad came out to see what all the commotion was. He just looked at me and said "what are you doing"? I answered back in a voice still gasping for air "nothing". He said "son, you're laying flat of your back in the yard strapped to a piece of plywood and your telling me you're not doing anything"? Again I said "nothing". He just shook his head, sort of laughed, and went back in the house. But, what was he supposed to do? If I found my son in that same condition I'm not sure I would really want to know what he was doing. And besides, I'm sure he could tell that I was in considerable pain and probably wouldn't do it again....whatever I was doing. After a while I was able to breathe normally again....or just breathe period. I sat there and pondered what could have possibly gone wrong? They did it on TV so why couldn't I? Nevermind the fact that a 4'x8' piece of plywood is about as air worthy as a brick. In my mind it should have caught the wind and I should have sailed gently and peacefully around just like a soaring hawk. But, as it turned out I finally decided that self-made flying contraptions were best left to somebody other than me.

Well, that's one good advantage of living next to the 3700ft mountains in Ca,

At least you wouldn't feel the pain when you hit