Moving with kids for husband's new job

[Laurajm]

And thank you for the champagne recommendation teqp! Going to the store this afternoon and will look for either of those

[spontaneous_traveler]

My parents are divorced and when I told them we'll be moving to CA from MN (in a few weeks), my mom said, "Life is too short to stay in one place; live up the adventure, soak in all the experiences and opportunities you possibly can before it's too late!" And my dad said, "NO. You are not allowed to leave me!" Needless to say, I appreciated my mom's support. And she's right... it's like that meme that keeps showing up in my FB newsfeed: You weren't born to pay bills and die.

Best of luck to you!

[Avalon08]

I assume you know that you'll get a lot less house for your money in CA, right? And yard space will be pretty much non-existent. (I mean, I don't know your budget, but houses are pretty much on top of one another, even in places like Beverly Hills.) OK, so once you've adjusted to the housing differences, I can't imagine you won't love it. I lived in OC for two years and still think of moving back. Ideal weather, beautiful scenery, mountains in the distance, ocean sunsets along PCH, year-round flowers, and...of course....palm trees!!! Everything is better with palm trees! I found the people very friendly and laid-back. That was 15 years ago so maybe things have changed, but I hope not. I remember holding up a long line in a store while I was fumbling around for a receipt to do a return....I turned around to apologize to the people in line, and they all said "no problem". On the East coast, they would have been freaking out with impatience.

OK, but that's not why we're here, LOL. I know you're blowing your Mom's dream of being a grandparent supporting the kids at the games, etc. I have neighbors who have the most adorable grandsons, around your kids' ages. The neighbors are in Wisc./FL and the kids are on the West coast. But with FaceTime, Facebook, etc., they're still involved in the kids' lives in between visits.

I think you're making the right decision! Good luck and enjoy OC when you get there!

[teqp]

Originally Posted by Laurajm

And thank you for the champagne recommendation teqp! Going to the store this afternoon and will look for either of those

You're welcome!

[Laurajm]

I love that your mom had that advice, spontaneous-traveler! That's the mentality that my in laws have too and I think it's great! I never used to have those thoughts, I always pictured myself staying in the same place because I'm comfortable here, but as I've gotten older, I've realized there are a lot of places out there and I'd love to see and experience them!
Avalon08 thanks for the input on your neighbors! I'm glad to hear it works out for them and I'm hoping for the same with my parents! That's how the relationship is with my in laws and I'm always impressed at the connection that can be formed through FaceTime. And I'm excited for those palm trees

[Ragnar]

We currently live in WI and my retired parents in PA. My dad finally teched up last Christmas and got an iPad. He truly loves it and wishes he got one sooner. We facetime on almost every call now. It's not just our faces, but we can show each other everything - the Christmas tree, the new cat, our gardens, kids artwork, introduce neighbors - anything at all. Technology really helps keep us connected and dissipate the barriers of distance. If we moved further away, things wouldn't be much different, other than driving to see them (or they us) would be tougher for visits, or we'd need to fly.

Best wishes with your OC adventure, Laurajm. It may not be forever, but enjoy a seet opportunity that many never have!

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by Laurajm

I love that your mom had that advice, spontaneous-traveler! That's the mentality that my in laws have too and I think it's great! I never used to have those thoughts, I always pictured myself staying in the same place because I'm comfortable here, but as I've gotten older, I've realized there are a lot of places out there and I'd love to see and experience them!
Avalon08 thanks for the input on your neighbors! I'm glad to hear it works out for them and I'm hoping for the same with my parents! That's how the relationship is with my in laws and I'm always impressed at the connection that can be formed through FaceTime. And I'm excited for those palm trees

Yep I have lived in 7 States and have enjoyed each one. They were all different and while the Northern States had cold and snow, which I do NOT like, the experience was worth it. More people live outside CA than in it.

[Axxlrod]

You need to cut the cord, and focus on your husband and kids. Your parents had their turn going to soccer games, bday parties etc when they raised their kids.

Besides, planes fly every day from the midwest to SoCal.

[Gemini_ENFP]

I'd just like to add -- after having moved from Louisiana to California at 27 years old (5 years ago when I was single and before having my kids but having my parents input). I thought I was doing the wrong thing a lot when my mom kept telling me I was living in a "fairytale land" because I quit a very good job to move here. I knew that if I didn't venture out again I would likely never have the adventure again with so few strings attached (I moved here to SoCal when I was 23 for a great job I found after months of looking - my first out of college - then moved to oregon for a year, then back to new orleans for two years!)
I met my husband 4 years ago and we will welcome our second child in October. I have been back to visit several times with my baby and the last trip I made home (last month) solidified it all for me
- what I realized is this is my family now, the one I'm creating. It doesn't matter what advice I get from my parents or aunts/uncles. I love the choices I've made to try something new and always thought in those hard first few months of living in a new place that I could always go back. Now I hope I never go back because I love the life and family we are creating.

It's vital that you remember that the family you are creating is most important now. Even if this is just a 2 year adventure for your family, I'd say getting out of your comfort zone is the best lesson you can learn and seeing a new part of our amazing country is not something you can do through TV and books. You can always go back! But 10-20 years from now it will hard to come back to this time and chose differently.