Boise vs. Portland for a single and looking 54-year old lady (Eugene: condos, home)

[Flavia84]

Hi folks,

I posted this in city vs. city and folks there recommended to ask the locals.

Which city would you all recommend for my mom? She is a very nice but kind of shy single lady in her 50's. looking for a partner but because of her reserved and introverted nature has had a bit of a hard time finding a match.

She is into gardening, walking and a bit of hiking.

I would say she is more on the conservative side socially and fiscally. Facial piercing, tattoos and all are a bit hard for her to get used to (that's the challenge with Portland for her. Boise wins in that regard). She might get used to it though- she is pretty live and let live. But I doubt she herself would be dating people who are into that kind of thing.... You never know though!

At the same time she is into nature, yoga, spirituality, natural eating, alternative medicine and things like that. She walks a lot and would prefer not to drive. She loves overcast weather and doesn't like any extreme heat or cold. This one goes to Portland.

So she's torn between the two cities. What do you all think? I appreciate any advice!

[Steve Pickering]

If she is looking for a place to live then Portland or Eugene. If she is looking for a date, the young gals are also looking for guys with a job, that don't hit, drink or do drugs, and are a good catch, so the middle age girls don't have much of a chance.

The pierced and tattooed are everywhere, so neither city is a good choice if that offends her.

[Metlakatla]

I wouldn't pay any attention to stuff like this ^^^ unless your mom is interested in dating 25 year olds.

You might give Boise serious consideration. It's a clean, livable city with lots to do.

[JackieLovesSun]

I don't mean this to be snarky, but why doesn't your Mom post for herself? I'm in my 50s and, even though I'm not the most tech savvy person out there, I manage.

[Minervah]

Originally Posted by Flavia 84

Hi folks,

I posted this in city vs. city and folks there recommended to ask the locals.

Which city would you all recommend for my mom? She is a very nice but kind of shy single lady in her 50's. looking for a partner but because of her reserved and introverted nature has had a bit of a hard time finding a match.

She is into gardening, walking and a bit of hiking.

I would say she is more on the conservative side socially and fiscally. Facial piercing, tattoos and all are a bit hard for her to get used to (that's the challenge with Portland for her. Boise wins in that regard). She might get used to it though- she is pretty live and let live. But I doubt she herself would be dating people who are into that kind of thing.... You never know though!

At the same time she is into nature, yoga, spirituality, natural eating, alternative medicine and things like that. She walks a lot and would prefer not to drive. She loves overcast weather and doesn't like any extreme heat or cold. This one goes to Portland.

So she's torn between the two cities. What do you all think? I appreciate any advice!

I am a bit hesitant to recommend Portland for your mom. The people who are into the things you say she likes will be pierced, tattooed etc. I see lots of them and have known a few because my neighborhood has its share of tattoo parlours and yoga studios. All harmless but very prevalent.

If she is introverted she may have a problem. Portland isn't a place with a welcome wagon for newcomers. People are polite and friendly enough but when it comes to making friends on a more social level a newcomer has to reach out and find their own niche. Newcomers have posted this opinion many times on this forum and as a transplant myself, I find it to be true.

There are many meet up groups for young people but not so much for older people. I am 67 so I fall in the Senior Citizen category. There are some things for us. For your mom in her age bracket I am not sure. I guess there would be up activities through church organizations or special interest groups or things like that. She could Google them to see what was available.

But she would definitely have to make the effort and reach out to people to build a social life if she didn't want to sit home alone.

[EnricoV]

My aunt, who's in her 70s, just moved back to Portland a few years back (from a farm). She lives in the South Waterfront district, and loves it. The condos filled with folk seem to have provided her with an instant "friend" pool, and she likes being close to downtown and all it has to offer.

Can't speak for the dating ... it's nothing she's looking for. But others I know (in her age range) don't seem to have trouble finding partners. One thing about a bigger city ... there's a bigger dating pool in that regard. And more opportunities to get out and meet people with more clubs, activities, etc., available.

I've never lived in Boise, though I've visited several times, so can't really speak for it. It seems much, much more conservative than Portland ... not just a little.

[Minervah]

There are lots of nice things for people around the ages of 60 and 70 to do. There seem to be more and more of activity centers springing up. I don't know if people in their early fifties would be interested in something like this though because they tend towards the 70's than the 60's from what I have seen.

In any case, the mom would have be somewhat outgoing and it kind of concerns me that her daughter is posting for her because she is shy. When moving to a new city, shyness can be a hinderence in meeting new people.

[Steve Pickering]

Originally Posted by Metlakatla

... ... unless your mom is interested in dating 25 year olds.

... ...

The young ladies aren't that interested in relations with 25 year olds either. They would prefer well employed, stable, sober, mature, and settled.

[Metlakatla]

I don't know many young women in their 20s who are interested in guys in the age bracket of the OPs mom, and I also know a lot of men that age who aren't interested in playing sugar daddy or even having a legit relationship with women half their age.

I know that you think you know everything about everything, Steve, but ..... you don't. Face it, you're not an expert on what young women want. I'm sure you have a relative or two who is in her 20s, or maybe you walked past a couple who appeared to be a bit disparate in age a week or so ago and therefore consider yourself an expert, but again -- you aren't.

Women of 54 have a good chance of meeting decent people their own age; any guy in his 50s who only dates whatever 25 year olds will go out with him isn't worth being around. Twenty five year olds who go out with old men for money and security are pretty shallow types whose numbers are dwindling as women discover that they can provide their own financial security.

[Metlakatla]

Oh, and I think it's probable that the lady in question didn't post this for herself because she doesn't even know this place exists. The daughter was probably just trying to help her mom out with more info on the places she's interested in.