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Single mom interested in moving and settling down in Orlando, FL.
Been researching Orange County area for almost a year now. Getting closer to packing the bags so figured I'd ask for some help choosing a neighborhood.
I'm originally from Philadelphia, PA - West Mt. Airy to be exact.
I grew up walking everywhere. And am used to everything being within walking distance.
Supermarkets, libraries, restaurants, friends, school... And, I lived 2 blocks from Valley Green so escaping to hike in the woods or hang by the river throwing rocks was there for me as well.
For some reason, I had it in my head that I wanted to move west to raise my son.
I figured, well, I have at least 5 years before Kindergarten.. why not go out there and see what's out there.
Survived in Oklahoma 1 month... not for me at all. Maybe summertime was a poor choice b/c it was 108-degrees EVERY SINGLE DAY... there, it is normal to go to playgrounds and do stuff at night.
Huh?
Despite tons of opposition (I'm black btw), I scooted over the line from OK and entered into...
TEXAS
... I've visited the big TX 3 times before, but usually for less than a week visiting family.
Never a small town though. So this was an experience. But, I loved it. The people were awesome.
I mean, they bagged my groceries for me... what???
Some guy popped out of nowhere and grabbed the bags and I was on the verge of yelling, "Yo! What the hell dude!" when he looked at me expectantly and said, "Where is your car?"
Omg, he was carrying my bags to my car! I guess b/c I had my son in the stroller? Dunno.... it was AWESOME. Talk about hospitality.
Entire time was like that. No matter where, what store... I kept looking for a look, glance... nope. Just friendliness and boy can they chat! I loved it!!
Sadly, the schools didn't seem to be that great and all of this is, in the end, for my son. So after a month I flew to San Diego.
Let me say this... I know (now anyway) that California and Texas have this 'thing' going on...
But to me, it's ridiculous. Californians are the most self-centered, shallow people I've ever met in my entire life. I have a game where if someone is polite or friendly I ask them where they are from ... and they are imports from the south!
Which brings me to this post... I don't like the climate, culture of the west (sorry) so after squatting at my parent's place this past summer in Philly, my dad suggested Raleigh, NC.
Okay... I personally only think he suggested Raleigh b/c Black people are in Raleigh.
But I hate to be the one to say it Black people, just like any other race, are not created equal. I was raised a Taoist, Vegan, and have BA's in Asian Studies and Religion. B/c I'm Black, most people assume Christianity... but, uh, no.... Eastern Thought.
All music after 1960 sucks (except Genesis, Foreigner, Boys II Men, and Madonna (late 80s/early 90s) and my son watches Peppa Pig and Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns on BBC America.
I don't mind going to church at all.
Okay, I lied. Mass is boooorrring... and some of the Black churches where you go in and it's morning but when you leave the sun has set... ugh...
Plus, I still feel a slight sizzling sensation when I approach and then again when I step over the threshold.
All kidding aside, I am seriously looking at Orlando.
I'm not worried about fitting in, or my son fitting in, we're chameleons, I want to know about the neighborhoods.
Basically, would you (reading this) feel comfortable as a single mom to raise your child there? (He is 3yrs old). Would you feel safe living on your own?
Even though I grew up in Philadelphia, I personally have never been victimized. So even though I'm aware of all the danger out there, it doesn't 'scare' me... I don't fear people or view strangers as potential predators the way someone who grew up in fear would think.
At the same time, I am not naive. I know the dangers, I'm city smart, so I want to know the 411 on the streets (such that they are) of Orange County.
Not statistics... real life, day-to-day life. Is it mundane (i.e. safe)... do you leave your car/doors unlocked?
If you see a black woman and her kid would there be assumptions and conclusions drawn by the mass majority or only by the few narrow-minds that can be found in any city across the globe?
I guess I just don't want to spend money going to check out homes in a place that wouldn't want me there checking out homes! Not that I've experienced that... The only place that implied that I was out of my element was actually here in San Diego when we first arrived and were lounging by the pool a woman (yup, White) asked, "I haven't seen you here before. Are you Navy?"
Cuz the only way a Black woman with a child could live here is on the government's dime???
Anyway, we chatted and she was from Jersey... I'm going to blame that on her being from Jersey.
Just tell me that you guys wouldn't throw gators at me if I moved next door!
I saw that there is a YMCA close by.
Brookshire Elementary gets a 9-rating!
Says minutes away from downtown (where there is a massive library!)
Cady Park (which I read there was a homicide????????)
I don't smoke, drink (okay, a martini on my birthday), or do drugs.
Don't want to be around people that do these things recreationally.
Had one apt in Philly where I couldn't ever open my dang windows!!
I'm fairly new to Orlando bu here goes- Hispanic culture is large in number- all kids of people live here - it is a melting pot- schools I cannot tell you- but live in the north very very different- My grands live In Clermont - way to country for me -- mostly sprawl cookie cutter newer homes -good schools just smaller population. -I live 6 mi from downtown- Orlando and love it- but it not as the city of Philly with the subways and established ways. IF you do not like HEAT Florida is not for you- take a vacation and see for yourself, if you would like it. and JOBS is another story. Others have to tell you about other areas- I do not know - but good luck!
Why have you chosen Orlando? In your (rather long-winded) post, I don't think you mentioned what appeals to you about central Florida. It's very hot here for much of the year. Heat indexes into the 100's with high humidity. Granted, winters are beautiful. You said you're used to walkable areas- unless you live directly in downtown Winter Park, Orlando, Winter Garden, and a few other small places you're not going to find that it's very walkable here.
No, we don't leave our cars or door unlocked, ever; but I live in an apartment complex. Maybe in a more established neighborhood or in an affluent gated community you could. I do however feel generally safe most everywhere I go. Perhaps someone who knows Winter Park better can give you more details about that particular neighborhood you brought up. From my limited knowledge I think that area is okay but it starts to get rough over on Semoran Blvd. I wouldn't recommend leaving your doors unlocked there, though. I also don't think your race would be a problem, overall. Orlando is very diverse.
It really sounds to me like you'd enjoy the pacific NW, though (since you're Taoist and vegan). Have you looked at Portland or Seattle? Or maybe Denver or Boulder, CO.
Why have you chosen Orlando? In your (rather long-winded) post, I don't think you mentioned what appeals to you about central Florida. It's very hot here for much of the year. Heat indexes into the 100's with high humidity. Granted, winters are beautiful. You said you're used to walkable areas- unless you live directly in downtown Winter Park, Orlando, Winter Garden, and a few other small places you're not going to find that it's very walkable here.
It really sounds to me like you'd enjoy the pacific NW, though (since you're Taoist and vegan). Have you looked at Portland or Seattle? Or maybe Denver or Boulder, CO.
I agree. I'm not really sure given the OP's interests/identity how Orlando seems like a good fit. It doesn't have the walkable factor and even in areas where it is a possibility there still isn't a large presence of those walking purposefully (errands, walking to/from work etc.) versus aimless wandering, which is a completely different feel in my opinion. The vegan and Taoist interests along with an educated liberal arts background don't bode well for the area either, as there just aren't a whole lot of similarly inclined or interested individuals here unfortunately. The cities mentioned above while good matches are quite expensive, which it seems is high on the OP's "avoid" list. For cities that match well with lifestyle and interests as well as walkability, affordability and availability of actual full-time jobs that pay a decent salary I would say check out places like Madison WI, Ann Arbor MI or Evanston IL.
TinyTrump - you said you live near downtown Orlando and love it? Do you mind my asking which direction or area you live in? As for hispanic culture, no problem. The 'black' ancestry that gets me labeled black is actually from one guy, my great grandfather who was afro-cuban. ;-D I will be visiting Disney this winter, so I will rent a car and cruise around, but like I said, you can't really tell places just by 'cruising' through them.
BrinkofSunshine - laughing my ass off at the 'long-winded' comment. It is what it is, I am who I am.
You've helped me a lot just naming some of the walkable areas - downtown Winter Park, Orlando, Winter Garden
It being rough around/over Semoran Blvd helps, but can you elaborate on 'rough'... rough in what way? Drugs? Prostitution? Or just dull-eyed, shiftless, lazy, miserable, downtrodden types? (which are the types I left behind in Philly!!!)
As for being a Taoist/Vegan.. these weren't pretentious life choices, that's how I was raised.
My parents were hippies, no doubt. Doesn't make me one.
Kyle19125 - I like to walk purposefully, and aimlessly. haha.. that's why I inquired about Cady Park. I read that there was a murder there, but when I google pictures people are still apparently going there and seem stress free...?? What's up with that?
Q - So being educated is a drawback? (serious question as this is the stereotype the north makes of the south)
What would you say people are interested in? I sure don't go around citing Lao Tsu or spewing Italian... *grinning*
Mostly, I binge-watch Netflix, Hulu, or like I said, I'm in a good book WHEN I'm not changing diapers, suppressing the urge to throw a tantrum alongside my tantrum throwing 3-year old, setting up playdates and praying he doesn't decide today is the day he is going to bite someone!
A typical day for me is reminding myself to shower and do my hair, stop leaving the house without my mommy backpack, and soaking in any and all of the 'free' time that I get between a demanding job and being a stay-at-home/on-the-go mom.
I work from home/laptop (which is how I can travel as I do) so getting a job isn't a factor. I have one. But being a single income I wanted to get as much bang for my buck in a nice/safe place as I could. Somewhere my son could be raised without being turned into an inner city neurotic (like his mom!), or shallow, narcissistic jerk! (Pacific SW *cough)
I will look into your suggestions - Madison WI, Ann Arbor MI or Evanston IL - for sure, thanks!
0nyxStation - Thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm literally a mother hen running around with her head cut off. I, myself, can (and have) lived almost anywhere... but I don't want to raise my son around violence, open or thinly veiled prejudice (his father is from Haiti and would be visiting to spend time with his son). I wouldn't want anyone to get into a panic if they see a dark-skinned Black man with dreads several times a year shopping for a bag of oranges (or whatever) at the market.
I looked to FL b/c he (son's father) spoke so fondly of his time in FL. At the time (we were dating) I dismissed FL entirely b/c nope, I don't like the heat, and all i could think of was Hurricane! But like I said, I'm someone who can look past herself when it comes to doing what is best for my son. So if FL is a good place to start him as he enters school, then FL it is. I'll buy an umbrella and be prepared to pay for air conditioning.... and my psych bills!!!!!
Maybe this place doesn't exist, I dunno... but I feel like I owe it to him to try to find it.
When people say, "Why Central Florida"... my question is, why not Central Florida? What do you know that I don't?
Why are YOU there... what keeps you there.. why did you raise your children there? These are things I want to know. So I can make an informed decision, and not have someone, who thinks they know who I am, try to make it for me.
If you're proud to say you are from FL, where does that pride come from? What does your good state, city, and county have to offer?
I didn't mean to try and push you away from central Florida, it just seemed like it wasn't what you were looking for. I love Orlando, but I know its reality. There's a blossoming cultural scene here. Check out the publication Orlando Weekly for an idea of what the vibe is around here. There are a handful of eclectic cafes, restaurants, shops, festivals, farmer's markets and music venues I absolutely love. There are plenty of gorgeous, historic neighborhoods all over downtown with mature oak trees, brick streets and small lakes that make Orlando a really beautiful city. If I feel like getting away for a bit I can ride horses in the countryside, float down a natural spring-fed river or head to the beach. A big factor in why I live here is because of my career, which has a lot of work based here. But I love the area in general.
Oh wow... I really... really .. needed to smile today. Thanks sunshine. The name fits.
I will check out the Orlando Weekly! Thanks! I will staying for 2 weeks and hope I can get somewhat of a vibe/feel!
Pre-mom, I would have cared about things that I just don't have time to anymore...
Post-mom, I want my son to be able to grow up with all that you said. Beautiful Oaks, brick streets, small lakes, history... even if the history isn't mine. People who are proud of where they live don't pollute it by littering, loitering, and maintain their residences/neighborhoods.
These things can be found in pockets of most anywhere... but things are more expensive up north.. AND... the culture is different. No way to get around that. IMO the south doesn't really spend a lot of time quibbling about things. If it isn't working, and it can't be fixed, it's scrapped. Simple. Up north, people will obsess and focus on broken crap FOREVER.
Ideally, I just need a place to escape where I can walk with my son in the natural world. We enjoy feeding geese, skipping rocks, or just walking really. I want to enroll him in extracurricular activities like martial arts and/or swimming.
Here in San Diego they have an equestrian league. If I end up staying here I would enroll him.
I was excited when you mentioned horseback riding. Yay!
I guess that was what I was getting at with my (long) post. If I were to arrive, show up with my son at 4-5 years of age and ask if he can be enrolled in horse camp (assuming there is one)... what would be the reception?
In any case, I'm getting the feeling that race isn't a big deal, more so it will be what I make it.
And again, it's nothing against FL! PA as you all may know is probably the most racist state in the US, lol, but I've never, ever had any issues my whole life (though sadly I know for a fact that isn't true for 99% of everyone else) while living there. The only bad/racist experience I've ever had was when visiting VA as a child for a family reunion.
The hotel staff wouldn't serve my mom/I. We sat there for a good 20 minutes before I saw it click on my mom's face. She never said a word, she just told me we were leaving...
No one said anything nasty. No threat of violence... but... that incident stuck with me.
I just don't want to walk into a situation with my son and have him remember something unpleasant.
That's why I'm being as upfront as I can.
Thanks you guys! I guess only time will tell!!! I feel good about the visit now though!
I'm glad I could put you at ease I don't believe you'd have any problem in enrolling your son at horse camp.. There are a ton of equestrian centers around here, so you can look around and find what feels best.
If you like walking and feeding geese with your son, there are a ton of swans and ducks at Lake Eola Park in downtown. There's a farmer's market there every Sunday.
I normally do not give location, but I do suggest between park visits--- drive to down town and go towards Alafaya- again school is really your main concerns if you work from home-- We are not known for the best schools as a whole
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I'm literally a mother hen running around with her head cut off. I, myself, can (and have) lived almost anywhere... but I don't want to raise my son around violence, open or thinly veiled prejudice (his father is from Haiti and would be visiting to spend time with his son). I wouldn't want anyone to get into a panic if they see a dark-skinned Black man with dreads several times a year shopping for a bag of oranges (or whatever) at the market.
