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So I got out of a relationship about a year ago we were never married but we did live together we have 2 children together ages 4 and 2. We live in Connecticut but I'm origanlly from Orange County california I moved out her for college that's when I met my ex and I decided to stay in Connecticut but after our break up it's been really hard on me since all my family is back in OC.Im not really close to any of his family they all kind of hate me which is to be expected because they take his side but I tried sticking it out for my kids sake but it just is not working I'm miserable all the time I need my family.
So my question is legally can I move or do I need to go threw the courts currently our custody agreement is he gets the kids every other weekend but I'm kind of scared because I know he won't like me moving so far away and taking the kids he already complains he dosent see them enough now
So I got out of a relationship about a year ago we were never married but we did live together we have 2 children together ages 4 and 2. We live in Connecticut but I'm origanlly from Orange County california I moved out her for college that's when I met my ex and I decided to stay in Connecticut but after our break up it's been really hard on me since all my family is back in OC.Im not really close to any of his family they all kind of hate me which is to be expected because they take his side but I tried sticking it out for my kids sake but it just is not working I'm miserable all the time I need my family.
So my question is legally can I move or do I need to go threw the courts currently our custody agreement is he gets the kids every other weekend but I'm kind of scared because I know he won't like me moving so far away and taking the kids he already complains he dosent see them enough now
Technically we never went to court for the custody agreement it was something we both agreed on without bringing any courts or lawyers into it but recently he's been complaining more and more about it getting to see them
Technically we never went to court for the custody agreement it was something we both agreed on without bringing any courts or lawyers into it but recently he's been complaining more and more about it getting to see them
I think you need to consult a lawyer to find out if you have a problem.
First, you need the advice of a lawyer. The kids' dad has every bit as much right as you to a relationship with them. If you two agreed on a custody agreement, then IMHO, unless there is abuse or some extenuating circumstance, you need to honor that. How would you feel if he had them one weekend and then just refused to return them or moved 500 miles away? If some sort of change in custody agreement is needed, that's something you need to work out together.
Does it suck that you had kids with a man who has family on one side of the country when you have family on the other side of the country? Yes it does. I'm very sorry for your situation. But you chose to become a mother, and part of that should include honoring the relationship your very young children have with their father. You are an adult. Yes, you may miss your family, but they are the innocent ones here. They deserve to have a relationship with both parents. You moving across the country will make that much more difficult and will require a big financial commitment, flying them back frequently to visit with the other parent. Be sure you're ready to assume half of that, and for the next 16 years. Many of the kids I know with one out of state parent don't really enjoy having to be on the road for every other major school holiday and most of the summer, but it's the reality. The kids are the ones who really get the short end of the stick.
Talk to a lawyer pronto. If you weren't married, and you and the kids live separately from him, and you don't have any kind of written agreement, you might be able to just pick up and move without telling him, then file for custody in California once you're there, so that the jurisdiction would be California. Not a nice thing to do, but I bet it would be hard for him to fight it. If you were all living together, I think it would be a different story. Whatever you do, don't talk with him about it or let the kids know about it. Talk to a lawyer here, and in California, too.
If you have a written visitation agreement, then you can not just pick up and go. If you don't have one, you can move whenever you want and file for custody in CA when you get there, however I would not recommend this as you need to make this as amicable as possible for the sake of the children. Have you talked to him about the move? Do you think there is a slight chance he might agree to it?
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