Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know, it's not a laughing matter, but humor will help us face this dreadful pandemic. So, here goes:
- Three weeks without baseball, I'm watching birds fight over worms. Score: Cardinals 4 - Bluejays 3
- I'm staying inside, isolated, keeping my distance, cleaning myself... OMG I've become a house cat.
- Back in the day, the only panic buying I ever did was when the bartender shouted "Last Call."
Post 'em if ya got 'em.
__________________
- Please follow our TOS.
- Any Questions about City-Data? See the FAQ list.
- Want some detailed instructions on using the site? See The Guide for plain english explanation.
- Realtors are welcome here but do see our Realtor Advice to avoid infractions.
- Thank you and enjoy City-Data.
* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
* I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
* I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
* Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
* PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
* Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
* I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
* This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
* So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
* Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
* My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
* Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
* I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
* I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
* Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
* Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food.
We're told 'no' if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
This was posted in another thread, but it made both my husband and me literally laugh out loud, so I am reposting it here. (And thanks so much to you, Mike, and to Three Wolves in Snow, and to all the others who have or will post their humor!!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
Speaking of nature, I've noticed that the squirrels are getting bold around here. With the volume of car traffic way down, they're bounding across the road more than usual.
I was coming back from a delivery earlier today, and I literally had to stop my car, get out, and shoo a squirrel out of the middle of the road. He didn't even try to move when he saw my car coming, just sat there, eating. And when I say "shoo" him away, I mean it took me 3 times for that squirrel to finally go all the way to the fricken curb.
They're going to be in for a big surprise when this forced quarantine for people is over, or the people just stop doing it altogether, with or without government approval.
I realize most people don't give a toss about squirrels being hit by cars, but it was something I thought about while driving around after that dumb squirrel just sat there and stared at me like "What?"
Last edited by katharsis; 04-12-2020 at 05:48 PM..
Gone fishing a few times at a lake about 25 miles from here. But my main problem is all the fish believe in social distancing. None of them will get within 6 feet of my hook! Of course I'm used to that. If I ever brought fish home on a stringer the first thing my wife would ask me is who gave them to me.
"I'm a Little Flu Bug" (Sing to the tune of "I'm a Little Teapot".)
I'm a little flu bug, small and round.
Here is my nucleus, here are my crowns.
When I get all active, then I shout:
"Move me over, and spread me out!"
My name has a number, it's nineteen.
When I reach the blue states, they start a quarantine.
When I reach the red states, they don't freak out.
I still move over, I still spread out.
I was born in Wuhan, inside a bat.
That's where I jumped species, how cool is that!
As people socially distance, I just shout:
"Move me over, and spread me out!"
(Scientific note: I'm aware that virus cells don't have a nucleus, but poetic license.)
Never in my life did I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth.
Me: Alexa, what's the weather this weekend?
Alexa: Doesn't matter. You aint going anywhere.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
