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Indecisive. I glance over at my Stair Climber. I can see my kitchen sink with dirty dishes from where I'm sitting. I also see my overflowing trash can.
I look down at the carpet which hasn't been vacuumed in awhile. And those two cars sitting in the garage who need baths. There's unopened mail on the dining room table. And I stare at this screen.
Which of these activities would give me the maximum pleasure?
Like a Lazy MoFo. (Mostly because I haven't showered or left the house. I can't wash my hair because I just had it chemically straightened, which in turn means I don't want to be seen in public. Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough.)
Sad is defeinitely in there. Not sure about the others. My mother has been slowly dying of bone cancer and watching her downward slide day after day is awful. My brothers and sister and I take turns sitting with her 24 hours a day to help Dad out, but now it is just mostly waiting. We can only give her water and milk with a sponge on a stick (she cannot swallow food or pills) and she cannot even open her eyes. It is really awful and exhausting. I cannot find a word to describe my feelings, but they are not good. It is hard to find anything to enjoy about a given day right now.
Sorry kind of a downer.
Maybe I can change to something more pleasant in a few months.
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