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I would plan on not going. If you want to send a gift, that's fine, send a gift with your well wishes.
I once showed up at a party that was by invitation only. I was invited by the guest of someone who was invited., The invited person was permitted to bring a friend or date. The invited person conveyed that to the friend she wanted to bring. The friend of the invited person then asked me to come, as her guest. Apparently, others had invited more than one friend to come along and as a result, I was not well received.
Since then, if I don't get an invitation, personally, I'm a no show and I have nothing to apologize about.
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