Retirement Gift Idea (embarrassing, speech, name, woman)

[dukester2]

My ex brother in law, (or XBIL for you acronym fans out there), is having a retirement party tonight and for some bizarre reason, they actually were crazy enough to invite me to join in this festive occasion. My XBIL, we'll call him, 'Terry', because that is his name and he answers to it, is a great guy and we have remained friends throughout the years.

I thought of the perfect retirement gift...a blow-up doll. I made my first visit to an Adult Party Store yesterday and I'm guessing they knew that I was a first time visitor when I walked in and asked, "Do you have blow-up dolls here"?. If they knew what the word, 'rhetorical', meant I'm sure they would have used it at that time. The lady ushered me back to the blow-up doll section that had every kind of blow-up doll you could imagine. It is bothersome that someone would actually seek out a plastic female body with Margaret Thatchers face on a head perched atop it. At any rate, I purchased one for, let's call him Terry, and will present him with it this evening. There was just something lacking though, so I had this brainstorm idea and stopped by the beauty salon on the way home, (I have friends that work there), and collected hair sweepings. I plan on putting this hair in a plastic bag with a tube of glue and a paper stating, "This doll includes 100% genuine human hair. Some assembly required".

Am I missing anything? I figure, what are they going to do, kick me out of the family? OOOPS, a little late for that one

[mainebrokerman]

duke,,,,hope he takes all this in good fun,,lol

id call "her" the "perfect woman" she doesnt *****, whine, complain, gain weight, and she's always ready for sex.. that'd make a good speech,,,id be wearing a helmet tho,,,some wine glasses, may be coming your way!!

it would be childish and funny, to get one of those remote control fart machine,,place "her" in a few seats away from you,,,and when others are giving thier speeches, put the machine under her chair and start ripping them off...

a few yrs back,,,someone brought one of those machines in,,,and placed it under the retiree,,,,that was being honored, she was almost deaf,,,so she couldnt hear it, everyone else,,thought she was having some major issues,
my god,,,,in a childish way,,to see the other folks reaction,,it was hilarious,, and towards the end of the night,,,,someone found the machine and she just thought it was funny too..

[dukester2]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

duke,,,,hope he takes all this in good fun,,lol

id call "her" the "perfect woman" she doesnt *****, whine, complain, gain weight, and she's always ready for sex.. that'd make a good speech,,,id be wearing a helmet tho,,,some wine glasses, may be coming your way!!

it would be childish and funny, to get one of those remote control fart machine,,place "her" in a few seats away from you,,,and when others are giving thier speeches, put the machine under her chair and start ripping them off...

a few yrs back,,,someone brought one of those machines in,,,and placed it under the retiree,,,,that was being honored, she was almost deaf,,,so she couldnt hear it, everyone else,,thought she was having some major issues,
my god,,,,in a childish way,,to see the other folks reaction,,it was hilarious,, and towards the end of the night,,,,someone found the machine and she just thought it was funny too..

She WON'T be inflated, lol. As I said, he is a good friend and wouldn't expect less from me, he'll take it in good stride. I'll forewarn him to open the gift when little kiddies are not around.

Someone had one of those fart machines at one of our company meetings and placed it under the seat of one of the young mechanical engineers. He may be posting in here under the most embarrassing moment thread if he would ever pop in here. People would look at him and ask, "Did you eat Mexican food last night?"