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A few additional thoughts as I didn't add my own plans for after my death...
My daughter has explicit directions from me and it's all spelled out in an addendum to my will. My license shows me as an organ/tissue donor. Any usable parts of me, whether for transplant or medical school use is fine by me. Whatever is left of my person, I want cremated and put in the cheapest container possible. I have instructed her where my ashes should be spread from. This is not a privately owned location, so I shan't post it. It will be done surreptitciously. lol Following that, I would like it if she had a celebration of stories of things done with my friends/family (with them sharing these events with each other as we did with my dads memorial)... I would especially like a New Orleans dirge playing 'Oh When The Saints'! hahaha Because my friends would all know, that's the essence of me. Making them happy, and keeping them laughing, and doing something funny. That's the best part of life for me and how I'd like to be remembered.
Last edited by CoastalMaine; 10-07-2009 at 10:26 AM..
Reason: misspelled a word and added to a sentence.
I can still remember people bringing their relatives home for viewing. My aunt did this with my 11 year old cousin. There would be one or more family members who would sit up (wake) with them as well. She didn't have him on the table! And the funeral home did embalm him and he was put into a casket, but the funeral was at a church and viewing was at home....cut way down on expense.
MY dh has always expressed to me his desire to be cremated. At first, when we were first married, I was appalled, but now not so. It is his wish, and will be what I carry out.
For me, I would love to have a funeral like the Indians did. Build a ceremonial bed that is off the ground, light a fire underneath and be done with it.
Today's funerals are not good in my opinion. They are long and drawn out which puts more grief and stress on the family. Jesus said, (paraphrase here) 'let the dead bury their own dead' . For some strange reason, this has always given me comfort.
We are to celebrate the life of our deceased. If we are Christian, we should be celebrating the next journey they have which is Heaven. So, why has tradition expanded upon the grief so much? I am with the rest of you, it is money plain and simple. They urge you, spend more money, it shows how much you loved them...bull hockey!
Like many of you have already said, I don't want a long drawn out funeral when I pass on. It really is a lot of stress on the family when it's a 3 or 4 day event. I have told my family that if I should expire before they do, make it as simple and as inexpensive as possible. A single, brief graveside service with my family and close friends lead by a Christian minister is good enough for me. I don't really care if they put me in a casket or cremate me, I will have gone on to a better place anyway.
As far as the do-it-yourself funerals are concerned, I haven't heard of these before but I can certainly see where some people might want to do it that way.
I am claustrophobic so I don't want to spend eternity in a casket. Fire doesn't sound too good either. Maybe I could just be composted awhile and spread on one of the fields....sounds like a fitting end for an organic farmer, don'tcha think?
I do like the idea of families taking charge and taking back the right to having a funeral themselves.
Both my parents died in south Florida 10 years apart. They were both cremated. The cost for each cremation was in the vicinity of $725. They were each put in the least expensive carton/urn/box there was for transport home. Their ashes will be spread together in a private spot I think they'd both be happy with.
Neither parent wanted what you termed a 'proper' funeral. I take exception to that term as we've been brainwashed into thinking nowadays you have to spent thousands on a casket, plot, etc. My parents were adamently opposed to that. My dad had a neat little folder with explicit instructions on what to do. Including the business card of the funeral home we should use for cremation since they were the cheapest. lol
We had a simple memorial on the lanai for my dad with his fishing buddies. Everyone told a few stories of special times they'd enjoyed with my dad. It was wonderful. I had a simple italian meal catered and it's a special memory of a time of respect paid to my dad.
A 'proper' funeral is whatever the family thinks works for them. Or the deceased's wishes being observed imo.
what you said coastal maine is exactly how I feel. It's a money making thing and I will not be part of it. Already alerted the family on this. My sis was a tad upset but I"m sure my girls will honor my request.
Everyone knows, that if I am sick, and dieing to pull, the plug as I do not want to live life as a veggie.
Perhaps someone can find a glass blower, to make a bottle to keep my ashes in, but two layers of glass, and in between the two layers can be Johnny Walker Red, or something.
It seems to me if you had done a Do-It-Yourself Funeral you wouldn't be here to tell us about it.
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hahaha Because my friends would all know, that's the essence of me. Making them happy, and keeping them laughing, and doing something funny. That's the best part of life for me and how I'd like to be remembered.
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