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A friend is having a baby shower at her home hosted by several friends/acquaintances of all of ours. I was told the shower date by the mom a while ago, and the mom to be said that it was going to be a couple shower and that kids were invited. We live 3 hours away from the shower and all the hostesses knew we planned on returning for the celebration.
I talked to one of the hostesses last weekend and she said the invites were mailed out a week & half earlier. We still have not received our invite. My sister says to call the hostess and ask what is up. I feel that it is rude and presumptuous to call some one and ask “where is my invite?”. I do not want to put the hostess on the spot, embarrass her or me if it were decided that we were to be left off the guest list for some reason
To give you a little back ground, all the same women that are hosting this shower hosted a previous shower about a year ago for one of our other friends in this same circle (this shower was also held at the current pregnant mom’s house). It was also planned as a laid back BBQ couple shower. Well after we received our invite to that shower and after I purchased $70 in gifts, one week before the shower an e-mail was sent that the group had decided that children would not be welcomed, but those with kids could come after the shower for left overs and cocktails! Needless to say we did not go (could not get a sitter) but we did send the gifts.
My question is if the invite does not to come to this shower would you mail the gift or return it (I already purchased the gift)?
I am torn between it being the right thing to send a gift for someone’s happy occasion and being hurt & pissed off sending a gift when we have not received an official invite.
I don't think you are obligated to send a gift if you do not get an invitation. The responsibility for making sure you know you are invited is on them. You are right about it being rude to call to see if you were invited. I think you are off the hook on this one. I wouldn't take the gift back to the store until the shower has happened. They may give you a call. You may want to just keep the gift to save another shopping trip later if the gift is not personalized.
I went back and reread your post. This is your friend and she had mentioned the shower and date already. That is sort of an invitation, so you may call her. I wouldn't call anyone else.
What kind of people are these? People with children get the scraps! Wow! I wouldn't be too concerned about their feelings, they certainly are not too concerned about anyone else. I think they would have done better to have arranged group sitters for out of town guests. You are traveling 6 hours, the least they could do is make it a little easier on you.
We recently had a baby shower for a cousin of mine. I knew I was invited but my invitation did not arrive. My mother mentioned it and before I knew it there was another invitation. May have gotten lost in the mail or even mistakenly not written.
I think they were a little rude to you saying kids were invited and then Not then afterwards.
I'd put the 70.00 back in your own pocket and if you still wish, after the baby is born send a little gift in the mail.
Osunshine, I would give the gift if the mom to be was a friend..
Speaking of baby showers..Last evening was the babyshower for my granddaughter in law..It was to be held at a nice shelter in the city park..We spent an hour decorating, assembling the food and placing the gifts and guess what...She goes into premature labor She is 31 weeks..Her h (one of my grands) grabs her up in his arms and runs to the car and rushes her on over to the hospital....I get upset and head to my car and trip and fall flat on my face (much to my embarrassment))..Anyway She is still in the hospital on meds to stop the contractions,,(baby has turned) we are praying that she will go full term..The baby is a healthy little boy thus far..Anyway we tore everything back down, brought the gifts to my house along with the huge sheet cake and some of the food for them when they are able to come home..
I also went into pre-mature labor at 30 weeks with my son and stayed I the hospital for 9 days, then went on strick bed rest until he was deilvered at 37 1/2 weeks.
Hope all goes well for her!
I learned today the lady has not mailed any invites to the shower yet, she lied! She is going to be cutting it close!
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She is 31 weeks..Her h (one of my grands) grabs her up in his arms and runs to the car and rushes her on over to the hospital....I get upset and head to my car and trip and fall flat on my face (much to my embarrassment)
)..Anyway She is still in the hospital on meds to stop the contractions,,(baby has turned) we are praying that she will go full term..The baby is a healthy little boy thus far..Anyway we tore everything back down, brought the gifts to my house along with the huge sheet cake and some of the food for them when they are able to come home..
