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Not everybody is outraged over being told how to parent. I might sound defensive because I do have a chip on my shoulder that I should probably get over soon. When my daughter was a newborn, I was told everything I was doing was going to spoil my child. I needed to be less attentive to my daughter, let her be more independent. Thankfully, I kicked those relatives out of my house. I didn't know a better way to get them to respect me and it almost destroyed my marriage. But now my husband sees that it was one of the best things I could have done for our family.
I got the impression that that happened when I read your post. But that's ok, because I have a relative like that. Good for you for kicking them out!
As for the OP, yes the mother should have been more attentive. I err more on the protective side with my kids. I do think you may have gotten some different reaction if you hadn't mentioned the slapping. I didn't think you were serious, but...
he should have offered to help the mom carry her bags or something.
WHY! It's her kid, her bags and her cell. She should learn how to multi-task. The bags aren't in the way. It's the cell. Maybe, he should've talked on the phone for her...another option.
I also agreed that we shouldn't go around telling people how to parent. Everyone parents differently so it would cause nothing but conflict if that occurred.
But..I do think there are a lot of people out there who do not know how to parent and put their needs above their child's needs. I know cause I grew up with two of them as parents. Because of their self centeredness and inattentiveness, my sister and I were almost kidnapped once. I just happened, by the grace of God, to know what to do to get us away to safety.
I think that is the situation here. The OP observed a parent who was putting her needs above her child's. The OP is angry about it. In this situation, I agree with the OP. Why wait until something bad happens? Who pays for that but the child. Other adults need to step into certain situations and protect children from self centered parents. And that is what the OP was pointing out (in an interesting way). Not calling for all of us to tell others how to parent in general, but just in situations like this one.
I also agreed that we shouldn't go around telling people how to parent. Everyone parents differently so it would cause nothing but conflict if that occurred.
But..I do think there are a lot of people out there who do not know how to parent and put their needs above their child's needs. I know cause I grew up with two of them as parents. Because of their self centeredness and inattentiveness, my sister and I were almost kidnapped once. I just happened, by the grace of God, to know what to do to get us away to safety.
I think that is the situation here. The OP observed a parent who was putting her needs above her child's. The OP is angry about it. In this situation, I agree with the OP. Why wait until something bad happens? Who pays for that but the child. Other adults need to step into certain situations and protect children from self centered parents. And that is what the OP was pointing out (in an interesting way). Not calling for all of us to tell others how to parent in general, but just in situations like this one.
Okay. I will go along with your explanation. However, I do want to say that new parents are often told that their world shouln't revolve around their children. That is pretty much all they say and don't really explain how much time you should spend with your kids. This can be bad advice for people with very small children whose world's revolve around their parents.
Oh I heard that a lot too when I had my three kids. So much of it came from my mother which I thought was kind of amusing given what kind of parent she was I paid tons of attention to my kids and picked them up whenever they cried and ran to them when they needed me. I also disciplined them when they needed it and did the best job I could. They are wonderful kids, if I do say so myself!
I think new parents need to decide what advice they should accept and what they need to tune out. I had very little parenting skills and did just fine learning what I needed to do. And when I needed advice, I went to people who I knew by experience were good parents.
People will always give unwanted advice to others they think need it in any situation. But when talking about a child's safety, that is another story. That is not advice but basic needs of that child who has no voice of her own.
Oh I heard that a lot too when I had my three kids. So much of it came from my mother which I thought was kind of amusing given what kind of parent she was I paid tons of attention to my kids and picked them up whenever they cried and ran to them when they needed me. I also disciplined them when they needed it and did the best job I could. They are wonderful kids, if I do say so myself!
I think new parents need to decide what advice they should accept and what they need to tune out. I had very little parenting skills and did just fine learning what I needed to do. And when I needed advice, I went to people who I knew by experience were good parents.
People will always give unwanted advice to others they think need it in any situation. But when talking about a child's safety, that is another story. That is not advice but basic needs of that child who has no voice of her own.
Kid's safety is a controversial topic. In another thread, there was a debate about whether or not kids should wear helmets while riding bikes so its not so simple. Okay, off topic so I will stop.
I was furious one time last year when I saw a mother, walking down a very busy street by a busy intersection, with what looked to be a 3 year old little boy wandering far ahead of her, unattended, while she yapped on her cell phone. Then when the kid attempted to just wander into the intersection, she ran up to him and started hitting him over the head! I yelled at her but was too far away to be heard.....people like that should not be allowed to breed!!
How do you know that what she was talking about WASN'T a matter of life and death?
Mind your own business.
your kidding ?? right??? life or death.
I would say that about 99.99999999 % of the time anyone talking on a cell is probably talking jibberish!!!!
Sorry, I don't buy that crap, talking on a cell and a child just tagging along, on a busy street, no hunny, that don't work for me.
Here in Brooklyn these morons will cross streets and hold the cell, not even look in any direction, as long as the little white light is on, they cross....not even looking umm, just to be shore.
I think the majority of people with these cell phone are out of control.
I think there should be a law that if you are driving and talking on a cell, you automaticaly from that moment go directly to jail for the next 24 hours.
I dont care what anyone says or what ever kind of lame reason, but there is absolutely no reason to be talking o a phone when you are driving.
Some of you need to stop trying to rationalize dumb behavior. I know what I saw and I was not the only one that was looking.
I get ya, I have seen this time and time again
I agree with you
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However, I do want to say that new parents are often told that their world shouln't revolve around their children. That is pretty much all they say and don't really explain how much time you should spend with your kids. This can be bad advice for people with very small children whose world's revolve around their parents.
I paid tons of attention to my kids and picked them up whenever they cried and ran to them when they needed me. I also disciplined them when they needed it and did the best job I could. They are wonderful kids, if I do say so myself!
