U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 06-28-2010, 03:14 PM
 
1,829 posts, read 2,118,496 times
Reputation: 1144
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
Not everybody is outraged over being told how to parent. I might sound defensive because I do have a chip on my shoulder that I should probably get over soon. When my daughter was a newborn, I was told everything I was doing was going to spoil my child. I needed to be less attentive to my daughter, let her be more independent. Thankfully, I kicked those relatives out of my house. I didn't know a better way to get them to respect me and it almost destroyed my marriage. But now my husband sees that it was one of the best things I could have done for our family.
I got the impression that that happened when I read your post. But that's ok, because I have a relative like that. Good for you for kicking them out!

As for the OP, yes the mother should have been more attentive. I err more on the protective side with my kids. I do think you may have gotten some different reaction if you hadn't mentioned the slapping. I didn't think you were serious, but...
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-28-2010, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Maryland
2,651 posts, read 2,495,765 times
Reputation: 2256
Quote:
Originally Posted by liloulou View Post
he should have offered to help the mom carry her bags or something.
WHY! It's her kid, her bags and her cell. She should learn how to multi-task. The bags aren't in the way. It's the cell. Maybe, he should've talked on the phone for her...another option.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-28-2010, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
1,137 posts, read 1,664,318 times
Reputation: 1096
I also agreed that we shouldn't go around telling people how to parent. Everyone parents differently so it would cause nothing but conflict if that occurred.

But..I do think there are a lot of people out there who do not know how to parent and put their needs above their child's needs. I know cause I grew up with two of them as parents. Because of their self centeredness and inattentiveness, my sister and I were almost kidnapped once. I just happened, by the grace of God, to know what to do to get us away to safety.

I think that is the situation here. The OP observed a parent who was putting her needs above her child's. The OP is angry about it. In this situation, I agree with the OP. Why wait until something bad happens? Who pays for that but the child. Other adults need to step into certain situations and protect children from self centered parents. And that is what the OP was pointing out (in an interesting way). Not calling for all of us to tell others how to parent in general, but just in situations like this one.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-28-2010, 05:13 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,436,114 times
Reputation: 1889
Quote:
Originally Posted by highway29south View Post
I also agreed that we shouldn't go around telling people how to parent. Everyone parents differently so it would cause nothing but conflict if that occurred.

But..I do think there are a lot of people out there who do not know how to parent and put their needs above their child's needs. I know cause I grew up with two of them as parents. Because of their self centeredness and inattentiveness, my sister and I were almost kidnapped once. I just happened, by the grace of God, to know what to do to get us away to safety.

I think that is the situation here. The OP observed a parent who was putting her needs above her child's. The OP is angry about it. In this situation, I agree with the OP. Why wait until something bad happens? Who pays for that but the child. Other adults need to step into certain situations and protect children from self centered parents. And that is what the OP was pointing out (in an interesting way). Not calling for all of us to tell others how to parent in general, but just in situations like this one.
Okay. I will go along with your explanation. However, I do want to say that new parents are often told that their world shouln't revolve around their children. That is pretty much all they say and don't really explain how much time you should spend with your kids. This can be bad advice for people with very small children whose world's revolve around their parents.

Last edited by crisan; 06-28-2010 at 05:22 PM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-28-2010, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
1,137 posts, read 1,664,318 times
Reputation: 1096
Oh I heard that a lot too when I had my three kids. So much of it came from my mother which I thought was kind of amusing given what kind of parent she was I paid tons of attention to my kids and picked them up whenever they cried and ran to them when they needed me. I also disciplined them when they needed it and did the best job I could. They are wonderful kids, if I do say so myself!

I think new parents need to decide what advice they should accept and what they need to tune out. I had very little parenting skills and did just fine learning what I needed to do. And when I needed advice, I went to people who I knew by experience were good parents.

People will always give unwanted advice to others they think need it in any situation. But when talking about a child's safety, that is another story. That is not advice but basic needs of that child who has no voice of her own.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-28-2010, 05:51 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,436,114 times
Reputation: 1889
Quote:
Originally Posted by highway29south View Post
Oh I heard that a lot too when I had my three kids. So much of it came from my mother which I thought was kind of amusing given what kind of parent she was I paid tons of attention to my kids and picked them up whenever they cried and ran to them when they needed me. I also disciplined them when they needed it and did the best job I could. They are wonderful kids, if I do say so myself!

I think new parents need to decide what advice they should accept and what they need to tune out. I had very little parenting skills and did just fine learning what I needed to do. And when I needed advice, I went to people who I knew by experience were good parents.

People will always give unwanted advice to others they think need it in any situation. But when talking about a child's safety, that is another story. That is not advice but basic needs of that child who has no voice of her own.
Kid's safety is a controversial topic. In another thread, there was a debate about whether or not kids should wear helmets while riding bikes so its not so simple. Okay, off topic so I will stop.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2010, 10:50 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,940 posts, read 9,033,746 times
Reputation: 4234
I was furious one time last year when I saw a mother, walking down a very busy street by a busy intersection, with what looked to be a 3 year old little boy wandering far ahead of her, unattended, while she yapped on her cell phone. Then when the kid attempted to just wander into the intersection, she ran up to him and started hitting him over the head! I yelled at her but was too far away to be heard.....people like that should not be allowed to breed!!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2010, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
11,864 posts, read 10,299,498 times
Reputation: 12963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
How do you know that what she was talking about WASN'T a matter of life and death?

Mind your own business.

your kidding ?? right??? life or death.

I would say that about 99.99999999 % of the time anyone talking on a cell is probably talking jibberish!!!!
Sorry, I don't buy that crap, talking on a cell and a child just tagging along, on a busy street, no hunny, that don't work for me.

Here in Brooklyn these morons will cross streets and hold the cell, not even look in any direction, as long as the little white light is on, they cross....not even looking umm, just to be shore.
I think the majority of people with these cell phone are out of control.

I think there should be a law that if you are driving and talking on a cell, you automaticaly from that moment go directly to jail for the next 24 hours.

I dont care what anyone says or what ever kind of lame reason, but there is absolutely no reason to be talking o a phone when you are driving.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2010, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
11,864 posts, read 10,299,498 times
Reputation: 12963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
It's just not your business. Parents can talk on the phone. Get over it.

No it is nothing something to get over.

What if the child was run over because Mommie dearest was chit chatting the phone.

how would you "get over it"

tell, me i would like to know
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2010, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
11,864 posts, read 10,299,498 times
Reputation: 12963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
Some of you need to stop trying to rationalize dumb behavior. I know what I saw and I was not the only one that was looking.
I get ya, I have seen this time and time again

I agree with you
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top