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Ok. You need to get out of that house. I know you say you are unemployed but you need to get any job and get out. I've been there, done that with TWO siblings Oy Vey
It got to the point that I am the bad guy and one sibling stopped talking to me altogether but hey I don't care! I have my own kids to take care of. And when we plan activities we take our kids with us if not we paid a babysitter!
Well, for my brother, the thing is he enjoys being a father and his wife loves being a mother as well. They both have a way of caring for both their children, and when they ask us to watch them, I really don't mind at all because it's not an everyday issue.
My sister on the other hand takes advantage like my younger sister does and they don't open their eyes to the real situation here. My parents are on the verge to retirement and my dad is the only one working while he's a diabetic working around the clock. My mom had a series of operations and has 16 screws holding up her neck. Constantly in pain and does her best as well to help my dad. I maybe unemployed, but my checks go to paying at least some bills until I'm able to find a suitable job to pay a bit more.
I tried talking to them this morning, but they are way too stubborn to accept the fact that it is not our responsibility. They are still going on about saying, "Oh we're family. We all need ot help each other out no matter what." That is why it is so difficult to understand if what I am doing is the right response or the incorrect spot, being that I just flat out say no and walk away.
It seems as if your parents are very loving and benevolent people, which just makes me more PO'd at your sister. However, they are not responsible for constantly (I'm assuming you're not exaggerating here) looking after her kids. I would absolutely agree with them if it were the case that they needed the help due to work or other pressing circumstances - although if that were so I would hope your sister would try to find other ways to deal rather than using your parents as unpaid childcare - but using them/you/the rest of your family to support their social life is bratty and immature and shouldn't be tolerated.
I don't think your parents are going to change about this, however if you are going to continue this practice in order to preserve harmony in your living situation, and out of respect for them, then I think you need to tell your sister that if she wants you to babysit then she needs to book you in advance and pay the going rate per hour. At least then you could earn some extra money to supplement your unemployment check. BTW, good for you for helping your parents out.
Well, for my brother, the thing is he enjoys being a father and his wife loves being a mother as well. They both have a way of caring for both their children, and when they ask us to watch them, I really don't mind at all because it's not an everyday issue.
My sister on the other hand takes advantage like my younger sister does and they don't open their eyes to the real situation here. My parents are on the verge to retirement and my dad is the only one working while he's a diabetic working around the clock. My mom had a series of operations and has 16 screws holding up her neck. Constantly in pain and does her best as well to help my dad. I maybe unemployed, but my checks go to paying at least some bills until I'm able to find a suitable job to pay a bit more.
I tried talking to them this morning, but they are way too stubborn to accept the fact that it is not our responsibility. They are still going on about saying, "Oh we're family. We all need ot help each other out no matter what." That is why it is so difficult to understand if what I am doing is the right response or the incorrect spot, being that I just flat out say no and walk away.
helping out family is all well and good, but being taken advantage of by people who are too lazy or "busy" to be bothered with their own children on thier days off just because theyd rather do something else or just not be bothered with them is another, id be telling them "look, if you want me to constantly watch your children which takes time away from me pursuing my own needs like finding a decent job, then you are going to have to compensate me for it, so i can make up losses from not being able to go out looking for a job"
My sister on the other hand takes advantage like my younger sister does and they don't open their eyes to the real situation here. My parents are on the verge to retirement and my dad is the only one working while he's a diabetic working around the clock. My mom had a series of operations and has 16 screws holding up her neck. Constantly in pain and does her best as well to help my dad. I maybe unemployed, but my checks go to paying at least some bills until I'm able to find a suitable job to pay a bit more.
I tried talking to them this morning, but they are way too stubborn to accept the fact that it is not our responsibility. They are still going on about saying, "Oh we're family. We all need ot help each other out no matter what." That is why it is so difficult to understand if what I am doing is the right response or the incorrect spot, being that I just flat out say no and walk away.
Here is the thing, you are not going to change your parents. Your sister has a good deal so she has no incentive to change.
In your case I would announce that you are never watching the kids again. Do not discuss it any farther. The next time you became aware that the kids are on the way just leave the house. Do not make a big deal of leaving just walk out as if you had appointment. Maybe after a couple of time of your parents having the burden of caring for the grand-kids they will change their song. If they try to guilt you ask them what did your sister have to do that was so pressing that she couldn't spend time with her kids. What ever they tell you come back with "oh, that was more important than spending time with her kids!" . I feel so sorry for the kids that do not get to do anything fun with their mom and dad, etc. Change the "poor sister who needs help" mantra with the "poor kids they miss their mom" mantra. It is worth a try. Complaining about how it affects you will not get you anywhere. Good luck.
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