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Old 07-07-2008, 10:23 PM
 
Location: nj
21 posts, read 53,483 times
Reputation: 21

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Do you think that it is better to spank your child when they are bad, or teach them right from wrong/ "making better choices".

I have to say that I grew up in a household that had both sides of the spectrum as far as discipline. My father or mother never hit us under the age of 5, but after that if we did something "bad" like fighting with each other sometimes my Dad would hit us with his belt, and he gave us dish washing duty with that if we were really bad. However, if he was in a somewhat of an in between mood he gave us a choice of the belt or a week of dishes. Needless to say, my brother and I always took the licking. I do not think it taught anything except: "Do not let Dad catch you doing something really bad or you are screwed."

My Mom was a little off the wall! She had very bad mood swings. Sometimes she would beat you with whatever was in her hand at the time if you did not answer her quick enough. I have to say that looking back at my childhood the most effective means of trying to lead us on the right path was just sitting down with my Dad and talking it out. It made me feel respected. Every person should feel respected as a human being. I think that when one resorts to hitting their child they ruin the mutual respect of parent/child relationship. However, I do not think that a parent should be their child's "best friend" and let them walk all over them. The respect has to go both ways. In your opinions, please be honest how do you keep a balance of control with your children without hitting.

Even when your kids are older. Is it possible to be able to keep your kids on the right path all the way through adolescence without raising a hand to them?

I want my children to want to always trust and respect their family. I want them to feel that they can always talk to us about what ever is on their minds. I really think that hitting breaks that special bond of trust between parent and child.

 
Old 07-07-2008, 10:31 PM
 
Location: Monmouth County
76 posts, read 402,195 times
Reputation: 64
I think this thread is in the wrong section, but I know studies showed that spanked children tend to grow up with some unhealthy sexual preferences (read: sadomasochistic ones). Pain, self-loathing, anger, and cruelty should never be a part of love, and that's what the parents are imprinting on them. Pain + love = later sadism fetish.

I don't have kids though. I'm sure I'd want to smack my kids all the time.

Last edited by NJ K; 07-07-2008 at 11:14 PM..
 
Old 07-07-2008, 10:34 PM
 
13,459 posts, read 14,445,292 times
Reputation: 7635
We've spanked when we thought it was deemed neccessary. It worked for us.

I'm not at all wondering if we created the 21st century's Jeffrey Dahmer or Marquis de Sade.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Monmouth County
76 posts, read 402,195 times
Reputation: 64
Yeah, even I got chased with the wooden spoon, doc1. No fetishes here! Oh, sure, there's the occasional sociopathic, Dahmer-esque personal zombie fantasy whenever I look at Johnny Depp, but that could be incidental!
 
Old 07-07-2008, 10:43 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,392,137 times
Reputation: 47449
it teaches that there are repercussions for our misdeeds. you would be amazed at how many 20 year old people don't know that
dr spock lied. time out does not work. 30 years later, more violent more unruly than b4.

Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 07-07-2008 at 11:21 PM..
 
Old 07-07-2008, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Central NJ
517 posts, read 1,630,875 times
Reputation: 172
We raised our son with Very little spanking. We could probably count on one hand how many times we hit him. I think that talking to your kids and explaining things to them is much more effective. My son is now 10 and I can honestly say he's a good kid. He's not perfect, who is? We teach him right and wrong whenever we see a situation that needs to be addressed.
Just saying we will hit him if he's doing something we don't like, makes him stop.
He knows that since we don't usually hit him, if we are warning him, it must be serious. It works.
My parents also didn't hit us. We turned out well.
I have seen friends kids that got spanked/hit- can't say they are any better than mine. Don't see any advantage to it.

To each his own- as long as there is no abuse. A spanking is one thing- anything too forceful (leaving marks or bruises) is whole other thing.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Cosmic Consciousness
3,871 posts, read 15,206,481 times
Reputation: 2610
Hitting teaches: hitting, hurting, violence, rage, revenge, fear, hatred, mindlessness.
It's a good thing!!
 
Old 07-07-2008, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Central NJ
517 posts, read 1,630,875 times
Reputation: 172
Question Huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by allforcats View Post
Hitting teaches: hitting, hurting, violence, rage, revenge, fear, hatred, mindlessness.
It's a good thing!!
I'm a bit confused- are you for spanking or against it?
M
 
Old 07-08-2008, 02:11 AM
 
646 posts, read 2,382,883 times
Reputation: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by doc1 View Post
We've spanked when we thought it was deemed neccessary. It worked for us.

I'm not at all wondering if we created the 21st century's Jeffrey Dahmer or Marquis de Sade.
Agreed ,were talking a spanking........not a beating ,any moron can tell the difference.
 
Old 07-08-2008, 02:13 AM
 
646 posts, read 2,382,883 times
Reputation: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJ K View Post
I think this thread is in the wrong section, but I know studies showed that spanked children tend to grow up with some unhealthy sexual preferences (read: sadomasochistic ones). Pain, self-loathing, anger, and cruelty should never be a part of love, and that's what the parents are imprinting on them. Pain + love = later sadism fetish.

I don't have kids though. I'm sure I'd want to smack my kids all the time.

Sorry but with all due respect this is ...dog doo!
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