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I take a prescribed stimulant to help my sleep disorder, and my mom wanted to try one about a year ago and I let her. I was living in her basement rent-free (although I paid my own hydro and groceries), while going to university full-time and working part-time to pay tuition. I was on her benefits plan so I received my medication for free (usually $250/mth). At first she would say "I'm making some of your favourite food today for you, and it would really help me out if you could give me two pills" and so I did because I felt obligated and guilty. Afterall, I was getting my medication for free because of her plan.
A little after that she just stopped asking all together and say things like "Mommy needs some of her little helpers" (in a baby voice). At this point I just felt like I had to, because if I didn't she would get very upset and I would be living in an uncomfortable environment. A couple of months ago though, I moved out on my own and will be needing to pay for the pills at full price (on top of tuition, rent, etc.). She keeps asking for more pills. However, last week I said no, but she has continued asking me.
Despite the obvious reasons as to why I don't feel comfortable giving her them, is the fact that she was an alcoholic/drug abuser for the majority of my childhood. I told her I am now worried she might be getting addicted again and she got angry and told me I am insulting her, and she "doesn't want to seem like the lowly addict I am making her out to be anymore, and she is going to stop begging". Since that email, she sent me another one today asking one more time. She says she is not addicted, but that out of "the very few pleasures she has in life", the pills motivate her to decorate her house and make things "fun" for her (when I actually need them to function). She said she does so many nice things for me and feels like I don't appreciate them, and wonders why I would say no to such a simple favor like this.
I really just need the opinions and perspectives of other people because it's incredibly difficult approaching this situation. How should I respond to her? Thoughts?
Tell her that you are getting a prescription that covers exactly what you need, and you don't have any extras. Don't give her any more.
Also, if she does have addiction problems and gets herself into trouble, do you really want to be the person guilty of illegally providing her with your prescription drugs?
Do not give into her. I know it is hard to say no to her as she gets more persistent, however, these pills are PRESCRIBED to you. You are given a dosage to cover your needs. If something were to happen, you could be held liable as the prescription is in your name. Your mom clearly is getting addicted to them since she feels she "needs" them in order to feel motivated. If there truly is something going on and your mom needs prescribed medication, she should see her physician first who then can make an accurate diagnosis and get her the help she needs
You should respond to her by telling her that you love her and because you love her you will not be fulfilling her requests for the pills. She probably will get mad, but be patient and understanding that it is the addiction that is making her mad. She needs tough love right now- you can give that to her.
Yeah, don't give them to her. It is illegal for you to give people medicine prescribed directly to you, no matter what the medication is. If she gets picked up for any reason and they do a drug test, find that in her system, it is not difficult to trace ... you will be in trouble.
Plus! Like you said, you need it to function. They only give you so many in that bottle, and it is expected to last until your next refill date. Insurances and pharmacies keep track of your refill dates; if you attempt, on a regular basis especially, to refill much earlier than necessary, it sends up red flags.
Do not feel guilty for not enabling her. Any guilt or obligation you felt while stuck under her roof is irrelevant and in the past. Tell her you'll go to the doctor if she needs to get her own - while you're there you can help her be honest with her health professional.
She's already addicted. She was addicted by the time she got to the point where she was telling you "mommy needs one of her little helpers." You don't need advice; you know what you need to do.
she sounds very manipulative and she is using emotional blackmail. She is obviously in trouble. talk to her doctor and don't give in to her. you could get in a world of trouble giving or selling meds to anybody..............
She shouldn't be asking and you shouldn't be giving. She can go to the Dr. and get a prescription if the Dr. deems one necessary. You shouldn't be your parents supplier. You shouldn't be put in that position and she should act like a freaking parent and know that. If she gets angry at you for not being her drug supplier then let her deal with it on her own. You will live fine without being in a manipulative releationship.
"She was an alcoholic/drug abuser for the majority of my childhood."
Your mother is an addict. And one thing addicts do is manipulate the people around them to get more drugs/alcohol/whatever they are addicted to. She is exhibiting classic behavior.
Do not give in to her. Instead, you need to do something for yourself. Contact Al-Anon/Alateen. It is an organization that helps the families of addicts. They can help you understand your mother and her disease. Most of all they will help YOU cope with all the drama and garbage she is throwing on your lap.
#1- Tell her you are out and don't have the money for refills.
#2- Tell her the doctor says you no longer need them and you don't have them anymore..
#3- Tell her you have that Rx because you NEED them to be functional, she is only doing them for pleasure.. YOU come first.
#4- You are not going to end up in jail for breaking the law for selling/giving her drugs that have been prescribed to YOU! That IS breaking the law!
#5-Break ties with her.
What you are doing IS illegal and you could go to jail. You have become her drug supplier and enabler. I would keep my pills in a unlikely place when she comes to visit so she couldn't find them but I would also leave a EMPTY bottle where she could find it. Never take any with you when you go to see her..
You MUST stop this no matter what it takes. The minute she starts laying a guilt trip on you.. get up and leave or end the conversation on the phone by hanging up. Sure, she may get mad but ending up in jail with a record that will follow you for the rest of your life over this would make you a LOT madder!
Tell her you do not have any refills left on the prescription and the doctor will not renew it. Have her go to her dr and ask him for a scrip.
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