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Next practice, my husband will establish rules for everyone! This should've been done before, but assuming that children know not to hit, spit, kick, or swear has proved to be futile.
We can only move forward, and I'm saddened that this has (in my mind) put a damper on a friendship...our kids do NOT want to be around this child and frankly, neither do I. But we have to get through this season and the best we can do is to establish boundaries and consequences.
I really love all of the great suggestions from everyone! It's always good to get perspectives from others. It's hard sometimes to muddle through it when you're in the thick of it!
throws the ball intentionally to hit other coaches on other teams,
Ok. So this tactic could be useful.
But really. In all seriousness. Wow. That child needs some discipline. I'm glad that your husband will be establishing the rules (and the consequences too?) at the next practice - does he have a visual aide? I feel like a chart would be good at this age group, with the team name, mascot etc (so it has the team feel to it) maybe something they can all put their names on. (and then he has something physical that he can refer back to aswell)
I hope that if/when your husband needs to enforce the consequences that it won't strain the friendship too much. Personally, I have the understanding and expectation that any of my childrens' coaches may need to administer discipline/consequences at some point and I'm not going to argue with that (unless there was a genuine reason to question it of course). But as another poster already pointed out, not all parents feel like that!
(Don't you wonder how the parents let things get this way?? What's the deal? Do they realize??)
It's funny because we've kind of role played it, because we don't want it to be like he's singling this girl out...so he's going to approach it as very age appropriate.
In fact, we've considered using my oldest daughter and my middle daughter as examples, i.e have them show what NOT to do.
As annoying as this child is, she is still a child and it's not her fault that she is the way she is. Or is it? I mean, she's 6 so she kind of chooses the behavior at this point, but mom and dad should be held accountable for her lack of discipline and self control.
As annoying as this child is, she is still a child and it's not her fault that she is the way she is. Or is it? I mean, she's 6 so she kind of chooses the behavior at this point, but mom and dad should be held accountable for her lack of discipline and self control.
Oh yeah, I think that at the age of 6, and with the descriptions you've given so far of the parents' actions, mom and dad really need to step up to the plate.
In all the leagues my son has been in and now in the football league that I have been coaching in, there are league coach/parent/player standards that must be adhered to. If the league itself doesn't have guidelines then they need to be established. This is the fallback for anyone to deal with the situation. Everyone signs that they agree to the code of conduct as defined and what the consequences are for not following them. In the leagues around here your husband and his friend would have been removed as coaches for allowing this type of behavior to go on.
You have to think about it this way. This little girl isn't just hurting the adults and coaches, she is hurting all of the players on her team. Either through the aggressive play that you mentioned or just the sheer amount of focus she draws to herself, which takes away from everyone. If I was a parent sitting on the sidelines, I'd let it go for one game, but if it happened again, I would have talked to the coaches and if I didn't feel satisfied I would have gone to the league and had my kid placed on another team.
It's not an easy situation, but doing what's right for everyone involved is far more important than a friendship. Taking a hardline stand may just be the motivation her parents need to do what's right and discipline their child.
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