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Because children are not looking forward, but rather, are living in the moment. A five year old wants a doll, and they will not get the fact that she can't have it because the money is going to the college fund.
without things to play with (whether its a $5 toy or a $50 toy), a child is likely not to develop to their full potential.
If they don't develop to their full potential, they wont get into college, so its a moot point.
I certainly don't agree with excessive gift giving and giving them everything they want, but toys and books are how kids learn, especially in their younger years. I see no reason why you can't give a small gift and make a small donation to their college fund if you want- thats great. but a donation alone wont garner any smiles from a 5 year old.
I assume it was dollars. It would be interesting to see what that number includes, though; many of our gifts have included such essentials as clothing. Baby gifts, in particular, are often very practical.
Besides, gifts are gifts. Unless someone has asked, you can't exactly demand that friends and relatives give your kid only savings bonds (which is a GREAT present, by the way; just supplement them with a little something for the here-and-now!) or contribute to a savings fund.
And as noted, toys do have value for the future! (although I hope people don't only plan their lives around what is practical)
everyone wants to be the "fun aunt" or whatever. I get what the OP is saying. I get fed up with all the crap we have around here, a lot of which doesn't get played with. There needs to be a balance - some toys, some savings. If you want to be the one to give the practical gift, go ahead.
I think you can find a balance between throwaway toys and investing in a child's future. What about membership to a local children's museum, or a magazine subscription? My great-grandmother subscribed to Highlights for me for years, and I pored over those things every month. My grandparents got my two younger children a subscription, and they love getting it in the mail. There are plenty of educational toys from Melissa & Doug, Lego, etc. Heck, crayons and an art pad. I'm not a big fan of the Leapster and other videogame-style stuff. I think kids need to play and run around and pretend and build things--and read real books. Helping a kid do those things is just as much of an investment into his future as putting a check into a college fund.
play is an essential part of a child's development (and is just plain fun!).
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Why? Because a 5 yr old's face lights up a whole lot more with a few "unimportant" trinkets to play with than a check for $50 toward his/her college education.
Not to say you can't do a bit of each but to say that anything that is not put away for the future is not intelligent or is wasteful is a bit extreme and takes some of the fun out of life.
I agree with you two... I come off totally anti in the original post which is not the case at all. You definitely have to leave some fun for the kids in there
I guess what I am trying to talk about is finding a BALANCE here
With our first set of kids, I found myself too much focused on number of gifts under the tree or around the birthday cake. I also felt like each kid had to have the same number of gifts to open. this was encouraged by a son who counted everything and kept track to make sure it was all "fair".
It didn't take me too long to figure out I could not continue with that. At about 2nd grade when they were learning about money, I taught them about value and how one $12 hard back book would be worth much more than 12 $1 trinkets. I'm happy to say they caught on but it wasn't always easy.
Now with this second set of kids I knew not to start off with a bunch of silly trinkets.Case in point...silly bands. Remember those? Do you even hear about them anymore? We bought 1 packet each for our girls and encouraged them to share with each other and friends. That seemed to be enough for them but their friends got so many packs of silly bands I know some had $25-$50 worth.
So I started asking them :"which do you want - a family day trip to the zoo or a boat load of plastic toys " of course they wanted the zoo.
That is not to say they didn't have or don't have a bunch of cheap plastic toys. We get them at garage sales, swap with neighbors, etc.
Christmas stockings are filled with new underwear, pencils, markers, glue sticks, scissors, hair clips-things they need and enjoy anyway.
Only 4 or 5 "real" gifts like electronic equipment, games, bikes, books, etc.
Birthday- home made cake to take to school, nice family day trip.
We don't skimp on surprises but it is usually art supplies, reading material and family activities
Also I'm proud to say I saved most of the good toys from the first kids so now the second ones have endless tinker toys, leggos, wooden building blocks, cars and action figures. We give them out a bit at a time.
I think this recession has forced many parents to really think about what they get for their kids entertainment. We don't have to buy a bunch of cheap trinkets. A pack of origami paper and a library book about origami projects will give so much more enjoyment than 25 plastic farm animals.
Great Post no kudzu
You actually gave me a couple really good ideas for some gifts in this upcoming year.
without things to play with (whether its a $5 toy or a $50 toy), a child is likely not to develop to their full potential.
If they don't develop to their full potential, they wont get into college, so its a moot point.
I certainly don't agree with excessive gift giving and giving them everything they want, but toys and books are how kids learn, especially in their younger years. I see no reason why you can't give a small gift and make a small donation to their college fund if you want- thats great. but a donation alone wont garner any smiles from a 5 year old.
I agree... I didnt mean to say that I dont believe in any gifts at all, just trying to find a BALANCE
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
everyone wants to be the "fun aunt" or whatever. I get what the OP is saying. I get fed up with all the crap we have around here, a lot of which doesn't get played with. There needs to be a balance - some toys, some savings. If you want to be the one to give the practical gift, go ahead.
Totally agree. Which is why I have made this post.
I have been looking around the net a lot on this it interests me not only for the benefit of the children, but also sociologically as well.
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