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Your brothers are way to young to be promising to help you support your mom. What about their future wives, or "baby mamas"?They will have a lot to say about where their children are raised, and they will most probably not want to help to support your mother.
Your mother's parents are getting older. Will it fall to her to help them?? That can be a huge financial, and physical strain, and with g kids to care for, a very stressful sandwich.
Also if you work two 16 hour days, or three 12 hour shifts, you are going to be very tired. Your mother will be taking care of them much more than just three working days.
Think about it
No, it wouldn't fall on my mom to take care of her kids. Again. Read my posts people! I have already stated that her brothers and sisters are taking care of her parents and that they live in a decent state.
And did I say that my brothers are going to support my mom now? No. I didn't, now did I? However, I know one of my brothers, a big time momma's boy, would take great care of my mom. And I would to. She isn't going to be left to rot on the streets or go without.
As for the working shifts, yeah, they are tiring, but you do what you have to do. No, my mom wouldn't be taking care of those kids outside of my working shifts. I'm used to working insane amount of hours because I already work in the hospital setting. Your body gets use to it.
I would like to find a guy like that, but those are dreams that aren't realistic. If I were to find a guy like my grandfather, I would be thrilled. But I don't want to set myself up for disappointment IF I don't find one.
Where are they? Please, point me to the direction because the ones at my college certainly aren't hard working or intelligent individuals. Most at my school are obnoxious d-bags who don't take life or education seriously.
Do you not realize that there are more women in college than men? Hmm? And the percentages are becoming even more skewed, especially if you are looking for an African-American man.
Meh...you don't even know if I am or not in therapy. So..moving right along...
Failed logic. Black women, as a whole, are at a disadvantage in the dating pool because of the numbers and because the disparity between black men and women in terms of education, employment, salary, etc. Now, I could date "downward", but why should I? Just because I won't be single? That's silly.
I think you need to read my posts before you spew. I have said TIME AND TIME again that it takes financial, emotional, and mental stability to raise a kid. Damn! READ BEFORE YOU POST.
Not now. READ THE THREAD. It is obvious you are spewing and having taken anytime to read my post. I said I would be doing this SIX OR SO YEARS from now AFTER I have traveled, finished college, and have fully developed. I would be a few years shy of thirty when I DID do this.
AGAIN. READ.
Again, there is no reason to be rude. Some of what you are responding to is not even what this poster wrote. And other posters are trying to point out "what if"s that you haven't addressed in your perfect plan for your future. It's not that they're not reading your posts, they're asking you what happens when it doesn't work out like you planned?
Just because it is hard to find someone worthy of you doesn't mean it is impossible. I'm sorry you've had pain in your life, I truly am. It's confusing because part of what you write is so cynical to the point of seeming irrational and part is so idealistic (eg, thinking the six year plan is going to happen like you think it will). Who knows how you will feel in six years? You can make an educated guess about what you'll think and feel, but a lot can change in that amount of time, trust me on that.
Well, the OP is the one who brought her race into it, and used it as a reason she doesn't plan to marry (not enough quality AA men for her). I think she should think more highly of herself than that. As I said earlier, with her determination and education, she should have no problem finding a partner. not that she needs an AA man.
I've dated outside my race before, I honestly would prefer a black man, and not just anyone, but one with goals and high standards such as myself. I think of myself highly enough not to settle. I see way too many girls with low self-esteem settle for a guy just to have one, and I don't plan on being one of them.
Quote:
It boggles the mind to see young people making terrible decisions then wondering why they don't end up with the perfect husband, 2.5 kids, and white picket fence
Some peeople do make great choices and STILL end up in a less than ideal situation or still end up as single mothers. I know of someone who was with a great guy. They got married and he was sent off overseas to Afghanistan. He came back with major problems, became abusive, a cheater, and a druggie because of PTSD.
Again, there is no reason to be rude. Some of what you are responding to is not even what this poster wrote.
Just because it is hard to find someone worthy of you doesn't mean it is impossible. I'm sorry you've had pain in your life, I truly am. It's confusing because part of what you write is so cynical to the point of seeming irrational and part is so idealistic (eg, thinking the six year plan is going to happen like you think it will). Who knows how you will feel in six years? You can make an educated guess about what you'll think and feel, but a lot can change in that amount of time, trust me on that.
I'm not being rude, but I'm sick of people not reading my posts and spew and put words in my mouth.
I'm not being irrational nor am I idealistic. I know how hard it will be hence why I am planning SO far in advanced. Saving up and preparing for what it is I want. And yet I'm being attacked for being responsible, by waiting and planning meticulously for a baby. Yeah, the plan may or may not go as plan, hence why I start so far in advanced to adapt to those changes so that when I do hit my late twenties, I will be as prepared as possible for a baby.
No, it wouldn't fall on my mom to take care of her kids. Again. Read my posts people! I have already stated that her brothers and sisters are taking care of her parents and that they live in a decent state.
And did I say that my brothers are going to support my mom now? No. I didn't, now did I? However, I know one of my brothers, a big time momma's boy, would take great care of my mom. And I would to. She isn't going to be left to rot on the streets or go without.
As for the working shifts, yeah, they are tiring, but you do what you have to do. No, my mom wouldn't be taking care of those kids outside of my working shifts. I'm used to working insane amount of hours because I already work in the hospital setting. Your body gets use to it.
Dear time,
Please read my post, I said that your brothers are way to young to promise to support your mom. If I was not clear I meant in the future.
As to your mom helping your grandparents--if your grandparents care, gets too hard or expensive, even it she is not living near them--you better believe that her relatives will be asking for some financial support from her, as they should. No one should shoulder their parents support alone unless they happen to be only children.
Meaning no disrespect--Being a mama's boy, is not something to celebrate, and does not mean he will stick by her. He might just become his "baby mama's" boy.
I would like to find a guy like that, but those are dreams that aren't realistic. If I were to find a guy like my grandfather, I would be thrilled. But I don't want to set myself up for disappointment IF I don't find one.
Where are they? Please, point me to the direction because the ones at my college certainly aren't hard working or intelligent individuals. Most at my school are obnoxious d-bags who don't take life or education seriously.
Do you not realize that there are more women in college than men? Hmm? And the percentages are becoming even more skewed, especially if you are looking for an African-American man.
Meh...you don't even know if I am or not in therapy. So..moving right along...
Failed logic. Black women, as a whole, are at a disadvantage in the dating pool because of the numbers and because the disparity between black men and women in terms of education, employment, salary, etc. Now, I could date "downward", but why should I? Just because I won't be single? That's silly.
I think you need to read my posts before you spew. I have said TIME AND TIME again that it takes financial, emotional, and mental stability to raise a kid. Damn! READ BEFORE YOU POST.
Not now. READ THE THREAD. It is obvious you are spewing and having taken anytime to read my post. I said I would be doing this SIX OR SO YEARS from now AFTER I have traveled, finished college, and have fully developed. I would be a few years shy of thirty when I DID do this.
AGAIN. READ.
I really think you are mis-understanding a lot of people in this thread. What she was saying was that if this thread was started six or so years from now and you had already experienced these things instead of them just being part of a plan, many responses on here would be very different. These six or so years can change your mind about a lot of things. Most people mature a LOT in those years (women and men) and their view on life and what they want out of life changes a lot then. So, she was trying to say that if this was being said AFTER those years had passed, she would have a different opinion.
I would like to find a guy like that, but those are dreams that aren't realistic. If I were to find a guy like my grandfather, I would be thrilled. But I don't want to set myself up for disappointment IF I don't find one.
Where are they? Please, point me to the direction because the ones at my college certainly aren't hard working or intelligent individuals. Most at my school are obnoxious d-bags who don't take life or education seriously.
Do you not realize that there are more women in college than men? Hmm? And the percentages are becoming even more skewed, especially if you are looking for an African-American man.
Meh...you don't even know if I am or not in therapy. So..moving right along...
Failed logic. Black women, as a whole, are at a disadvantage in the dating pool because of the numbers and because the disparity between black men and women in terms of education, employment, salary, etc. Now, I could date "downward", but why should I? Just because I won't be single? That's silly.
I think you need to read my posts before you spew. I have said TIME AND TIME again that it takes financial, emotional, and mental stability to raise a kid. Damn! READ BEFORE YOU POST.
Not now. READ THE THREAD. It is obvious you are spewing and having taken anytime to read my post. I said I would be doing this SIX OR SO YEARS from now AFTER I have traveled, finished college, and have fully developed. I would be a few years shy of thirty when I DID do this.
AGAIN. READ.
1) They are there but you are dead set that its all a dream and unrealistic. You do not choose to see beyond your own views or give any man half a chance. You fail them before they even have the opportunity to fail you.
2) I highly doubt that all the men in your college are d-bags and I think you are giving yourself wayyy to much credit in believing you are the bees knees mature woman for them. You choose who you associate with in college and if you continue to seek out those you think are d-bags then that is your fault not theirs.
3) There are more African American men-Black men heading to colleges than in the past. I can't believe you think so poorly of Black men. I am sure that if Michele Obama had your logic in University she would not be the First Lady in the White House and would be kicking herself if Barak act like a donkey on occasion and did not give him a try. And while we are in the subject of Black men I currently have a doctor and a lawyer who are both Black, single and looking to settle down. So they are out there. You just seem to narrow it to your college campus.
4) Whether you are in therapy or not its not the point. The point is I feel you need therapy to look at why you have views like this and if you are in therapy now then look for another one who will help you with these issues. Your view on relationships, your father, even if you are bi-polar or not needs to be address. To raise a child with this type of mentality only sets you up for failure in the relationship between you and your child.
5) I have read the thread, time and time again. There is no need to shout through your posts and by shouting shows your lack of maturity and again another reason why you should not consider being a parent now, single or with a partner. Whether you do this a few years from now after you settle down and saw the world, I do not think you will change your views much. I think you are deadset in bringing a child into this world with no idea on what it takes to be a parent.
I've dated outside my race before, I honestly would prefer a black man, and not just anyone, but one with goals and high standards such as myself. I think of myself highly enough not to settle. I see way too many girls with low self-esteem settle for a guy just to have one, and I don't plan on being one of them.
this is good. You should not settle.
Some peeople do make great choices and STILL end up in a less than ideal situation or still end up as single mothers. I know of someone who was with a great guy. They got married and he was sent off overseas to Afghanistan. He came back with major problems, became abusive, a cheater, and a druggie because of PTSD.
And yet SHE is in the wrong? Come on now.
This board has been rampant lately with young girls getting pregnant by some guy they barely know, who already is a baby-daddy with some other girl, and they wonder why life is less than ideal That is what I'm talking about. Obviously there are other situations like the one you posted. That is not what I'm talking about.
I'm not being rude, but I'm sick of people not reading my posts and spew and put words in my mouth.
I'm not being irrational nor am I idealistic. I know how hard it will be hence why I am planning SO far in advanced. Saving up and preparing for what it is I want. And yet I'm being attacked for being responsible, by waiting and planning meticulously for a baby. Yeah, the plan may or may not go as plan, hence why I start so far in advanced to adapt to those changes so that when I do hit my late twenties, I will be as prepared as possible for a baby.
Let me rephrase: some of what you write comes off as short-tempered, dismissive and rude to anyone not agreeing with you. I understand it's frustrating to feel like what you're saying isn't being understood, but not everyone disagreeing with you is missing your point.
And if you read my post,I said what you write SOUNDS cynical to the point of irrationality and SOUNDS idealistic. I have no idea how you are IRL and can't comment on that.
I disagree that you are being attacked. It's great that you are planning, IMO. It's great that you realize it may not go according to plan. I think acknowledging that and acknowledging that you may change, too, is part of what posters are trying to get at with their feedback.
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babies sometimes don't let you sleep
