Do you tell your kids what to call adults? (divorce, play, child)

[AnnaNomus]

It sounds disrespectful to me for a child to address an adult by their first name. I was taught, and am teaching my dd, to address adults with a title first, Miss, Mr, Aunt, Uncle. If it's a friend of the family or someone close to us, it's Miss or Mr. First Name. She addresses her daycare and dance teacher this way too.

To me, it just seems a little to overly familiar for a kid to say, "Hey, Bob..." or whatever to an adult. Kind of like they're putting the adult on the same level as themselves and their peers. Kids do need to know that grown ups should have a different level of respect than their friends.

But I know it's a personal preference thing, so I try not to cringe when I hear it.

[CTGirlNoMore]

My nephew calls his teachers Miss/Ms. Lastname, but in poreschool it was Miss/Ms. Firstname.

He calls me by just my firtname.

Growing up, my brother and I were taught to call aunts and uncles Aunt X and Uncle X, yet my friend called hers just by their first name. It seemed "too casual" to me, but I think it's probably because of what *I* was used to.

[gramirez2012]

Originally Posted by Aconite

I don't think it's disrespectful exactly, if the adult asks them to do it.

That's what I said.

[scottfs]

I had a friend growing up whose mom always asked me to call her by her first name...I had always been taught never to do that with adults and it was super weird for me to call her by her first name.

I'd have gotten in serious trouble had I ever addressed either of my parents by their first name.

I intend to teach my kids to address us as Dad and Mom, their Aunts and Uncles will be "Aunt Jane/Uncle John". Any adult they know I will have them default to "Mr./Miss/Mrs. X" unless asked otherwise and any adult they don't know is Sir/Ma'am.

I was taught these rules and to keep this up until age 25, at which point I could begin calling older adults by their first names. Authority figures such as a policeman or one's boss remained "Sir/Ma'am". I'm not sure about this part, whether that's a common thing or what age people stop the whole Mr./Mrs. thing, but that's how I was taught.

[formercalifornian]

As a parent of a teen, there's another reason I prefer to be addressed with an honorific: it's a reminder that I am an adult and should conduct myself as one. It's unfortunately the case that my inner 13-year-old sometimes makes an appearance when faced with teen girl drama. Hearing myself referred to as Mrs. Lastname keeps her at bay when my daughter and her friends are depending on me to be the grown-up. Appropriate and effective boundaries are a good thing for people of all ages.

[snadai]

My kids are to address someone as Mr or Mrs. Last Name unless they are asked by that person to call them something else. Although when it's a close friend of mine, I have introduced them by first name.

Although this year, while volunteering in my son's kindergarten class I was actually called "Mrs. Carter's Mom" by a lot of the kids, which cracked me up. But even in Kindergarten I was introduced to the kids as Mrs. Lastname. Around here, Miss Firstname is only for preschool aged kids.

[eastwesteastagain]

Originally Posted by snadai

My kids are to address someone as Mr or Mrs. Last Name unless they are asked by that person to call them something else. Although when it's a close friend of mine, I have introduced them by first name.

Although this year, while volunteering in my son's kindergarten class I was actually called "Mrs. Carter's Mom" by a lot of the kids, which cracked me up. But even in Kindergarten I was introduced to the kids as Mrs. Lastname. Around here, Miss Firstname is only for preschool aged kids.

Haha - I love it! I'm "Mrs.DS's Mommy" for some of DS3's friends, too.

[num1baby]

It would be so strange for me to hear any kids call me by anything except my first name. I probably wouldn't even react if someone even called me Mrs. LastName. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have been called Mrs. LastName by anyone ever. I have always called my aunts and uncles by their first names. All of my parent's friends were ALWAYS called by just their first names.

I was shocked reading this thread. I tried imagining DD's friends calling me Ma'am (shudder), Mrs. LastName (cringe), or Ms. FirstName (am I a daycare teacher?). Ugh. I would hate to be called any of those. DD calls her aunts and uncles by their first names only. Ironically enough, She calls one couple (our very closest friends) Aunt FirstName & Uncle FirstName. This is actually a joke between us, because our kids look like they belong to the other couple.

Besides teachers, I don't know anyone at all who is referred to by anything other than their first names. That would be very strange to me.

[jwm1964]

Originally Posted by ItalianIce

Okay, this was a hot topic yesterday at a dinner with a few other moms. Just curious how you guys feel about it.

FIRST QUESTION: Do you instruct your kids to call other adults certain things? For example, do they address people as Miss Firstname or Ms./Mr. Lastname? Or do they just use first names? How do they address your friends, strangers, daycare personnel, older family friends, etc.?

My kids call people whatever they ask to be called. They call my friends by their first names (I can't even imagine introducing my friend as Mr. G; that would be so awkward). Most of their teachers request Mrs./Mr. Lastname. And as for everyone else... I can't really think of a situation in which they'd say a stranger's name before the stranger had introduced him or herself. So basically, it's whatever the person requests.

One of my friends has instructed her children to never call another adult by his or her first name, even when the other adult invites them to. The kid is to politely explain that he has been taught to use Ms. Lastname. That's just odd, IMO.

I also have a co-worker who used to call me Ms. Lastname. It was SUPER awkward. She was only two years younger than me. I used to tell her all the time that she could just call me Firstname, but she told me that her parents raised her to call "elders" Ms. Lastname. I was like, we're making the same salary. She doesn't work in my area anymore, though...



Okay, SECOND QUESTION: What do your kids call you and other family members? Do they call aunts and uncles "Aunt Sue" or just Sue? How do they address older cousins?

Of course, I'm the odd one out in my group of friends because I call my parents by their first names, and my kids call DH and me by our first names. I just feel that Mom and Dad bring an unnecessary level of formality and distance to such a close relationship. I don't see why I should lose my name just because I'm becoming a parent. I know it's an unpopular choice, though.

My kids often identify adults by reference to their children -
ie. Brianna's Mom or Caleys Dad

Personal friends of mine they typically address by 1st name.
Professionals they typically address by last name or title.
ie. Mrs. Patterson or Principal Marks

They address familiy members as Grandma, Granny for Great Grandma, Uncle/Aunt and cousins by first name.

Typically they call me Dad, although at 13 they sometimes still slip and call me Daddy (I don't mind )

[formercalifornian]

How old are your children, if you don't mind me asking? My experience has been that as I grow older, I appreciate the boundaries honorifics create, for my benefit as much as my kids'. As I stated previously, hearing Mrs. Formercalifornian on a regular basis helps keep my inner middle-schooler at bay.