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Guys, please don't think of this as a silly question, but I have both 6yrs and 9yrs old girls and am wondering what is a good age to start giving them a weekly or monthly allowance and how much is appropriate? Any ideas based on when you started off your kids?
In addition, my mother seems to think that we should also start talking to our 9yr old about the birds and the bees ... Say What!!! As a dad I am in no hurry to do that and am in no hurry to see my little girl grow up in a hurry ... I can not recall at what age we even did this back in the day. Good grief .. I am getting old ... this parenting thing is getting a bit complicated
We've been giving our kids (twins aged 7) allowance since they were 4. We give $2/wk, $1 of which must go in the bank. The remainder they can spend on material items (not candy). This has shown them how to save appropriately. They have daily chores to do and the allowance is not tied to those responsibilities. If they want to earn extra money for something then we'll set up additional tasks....like $.50 a bag for raked leaves.
As they get older we'll count on their increased allowance to go towards things above and beyond what we'd spend on things like sneakers or clothing. We'll set a max amount, of say $40 towards sneakers and they can use their allowance to go above that to get what they want. We've also discussed changing allowance to monthly when they get older to teach budgeting.
All in all...it's what you feel comfortable doing. My kids will always get what the need and some of what they want if they're responsible teenagers. However, they'll have to earn by doing and not by simply just being
There are some books out there to assist with the birds in the bees - one is called "It's Not the Stork" one is called "It's so Amazing" and can't remember the third but if you go to Amazon.com you'll see them all together - totally age appropriate - there's one for different age groups from 6 up to teenager.
There are some books out there to assist with the birds in the bees - one is called "It's Not the Stork" one is called "It's so Amazing" and can't remember the third but if you go to Amazon.com you'll see them all together - totally age appropriate - there's one for different age groups from 6 up to teenager.
I already bought a book for my 9 yr old called "The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library [School & Library Binding]" which was recommended by her pediatrician, but I locked away and have yet to release it to her because I am still not sure my little girl (who is as giddy, carefree, and playful as ever) is ready for all that is in this book .. bummer. It sucks being a father with girls .
Firstly, the Birds and the Bees talk should happen now. Many girls go through puberty at 8/9/10, so her friends are probably already talking about it. You want to make sure you give her the correct information before the grapevine educates her.
Second, we give our kids a weekly allowance, $1 per year, so the 8 year-old gets $8, but only if they have met certain easy criteria. Keeping their rooms picked up, no bad reports from school, etc. We also deposit the money directly into their bank accounts. They have easy access to the accounts, but the impulse spending is cut way down this way, and they are very motivated to save when they actually see the money accumulate, and there is an additional step needed to access it.
Sorry to say, at age 9, you do need to start thinking about "the talk."
The amount of allowance depends on what you want them to do with it I guess. I have a friend who gives her girls a big allowance, but they buy everything with it, even birthday gifts for friends.
My kids are 6 and 8 and they each have one of these banks^. I don't give them a set allowance yet, but I'm teaching them how to divide birthday money etc. among the 4 slots. For now we are doing 10% invest (to be put in their bank accounts), 10% donate, 40% save, and 40% spend.
At 9 she has probably heard all kinds of things from her classmates...my daughter is 9 and has heard lots of bizarre things from her classmates about sex. They talk about things I didn't even know about until high school. She says most of the girls in her class wear bras (and all the 5th graders do) and have to shave their armpits.
Her school showed the girls a film about puberty and periods the other day.
It's definitely time to talk to your daughter about the birds and bees. My daughter's had books about that kind of stuff for a couple of years now, although she's not at all shy about asking what she wants to know.
Guys, please don't think of this as a silly question, but I have both 6yrs and 9yrs old girls and am wondering what is a good age to start giving them a weekly or monthly allowance and how much is appropriate? Any ideas based on when you started off your kids?
In addition, my mother seems to think that we should also start talking to our 9yr old about the birds and the bees ... Say What!!! As a dad I am in no hurry to do that and am in no hurry to see my little girl grow up in a hurry ... I can not recall at what age we even did this back in the day. Good grief .. I am getting old ... this parenting thing is getting a bit complicated
Allowance: I think start them as early as they can be responsible for saving part of it and completing any associated chores that go with it. (Completing the chores without too much reminder or whining is the rule in our house.) We only pay $1 per year per month. So I'd pay your 9 year old $9 a month.
Birds and Bees: My dd just turned 9 and the pediatrician told us last year that we should start the body changes talk when she turns 9. There are many girls hitting maturity at 9 years old now! So while my dd might not, she might be going to school with girls her age that have hit maturity. And girls talk. The book you bought has a a section about it. I FULLY admit we have not talk to dd about this yet. BUT I know that in the next 12 months we have to have the body changes talk.
Now I will say we did not have the maturity talk with our son until he was 10... almost 11. Boys are different... thank goodness. And he showed no signs of wanting to talk about body changes. I will also share that in 5th grade in DPS (I think all NC Schools) the kids have a day where they learn about growth and human development and they learn how girls and boys bodies change during puberty. No actual Birds and Bees talk... that comes in middle school. In DPS a nurse gives the talk. At Creekside the school nurse did the girls and a county nurse did the boys. They split the kids by gender and there are about 25-29 kids per class. The get their own gender's talk the first day and then the other's gender talk the next day. My son took it all well. But I think it was harder on some of the girls who had heard this talk for the first time.
The rule of thumb (not always true) is a girl will hit menstruation 2 years after the first signs of breast. My daughter has friends who started wearing bras at 8 ( and needed them!!). So it gives you an idea.
For allowance, we gave 1/2 their age weekly. Since they started high school, we give them their age weekly. We do not comment on how they allocate it (savings, charity, spending), but we also do not entertain requests for money anywhere, ever. We have budgets for the things we buy them (clothes, etc.), and they have to figure out the rest between their allowance and working.
As for the birds-and-bees talk, you'd probably be surprised at how much they already know. I discovered that my kids were trying to protect *me* from what they knew. They didn't tell me until much later. If you want to be the trusted voice of what they know, then you have to step up. Otherwise, you're third or fourth in line trying to correct misinformation that is powerfully imprinted already.
Wow! This is all heavy stuff for me. I guess I will have to give her the book but not before the wife and I have a little sit down with her. Good grief, where did the time go ... it seems like yesterday that I was in the hospital witnessing her birth .. don't know if I am ready for this My baby is growing up too fast .. boo hoo
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As a dad I am in no hurry to do that and am in no hurry to see my little girl grow up in a hurry ... I can not recall at what age we even did this back in the day. Good grief .. I am getting old ... this parenting thing is getting a bit complicated 
