How can you curb your child from swearing? (teaching, games, parents)
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Thought I had it all worked out with my son (7 years old) last Friday when he got mad at me and showed he learned two new words from school. Well, after a day of grounding and being told what those words meant he said he was not happy that he said it. I mentioned to his teacher that perhaps a reminder on the school rules to "be respectful" may be in order. Monday they watched their language, Tuesday the "B" word is being flung around after school by some girls who ran off after the teacher was told. Today my son proudly announced that he knew what the "N" word was...checked and yep he does. Small lecture about that and "never say it again", blah blah blah. He says that "everyone" (meaning the hoods he hangs out with) says it. Well, no they don't. He never acted this was until this year. Any advice on how to curb this for good?
Note: I never use these words at anytime. Best when you get mad to suck it up and walk away.
I can only tell you what worked for me. I always told my sons they could say what they wanted when they were with their buddies, but they were never to swear around anybody older or younger. I knew I couldn't really control what was said around "the guys", but I made sure it wasn't said around me (or teachers, coaches, little neighborhood kids, etc.)
For the most part it seems to be a phase. If swearing isn't commonplace in the home, and isn't allowed in school, it is less likely to become an ingrained habit.
Well, after a day of grounding and being told what those words meant he said he was not happy that he said it.
After a day of grounding of course he will say he was not happy that he said it. He doesn't want to be grounded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
He says that "everyone" (meaning the hoods he hangs out with) says it.
Maybe the kids aren't using that word in a derogatory way. Isn't that slang term n word something the kids refer to each other and is ok among themselves?
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
Any advice on how to curb this for good?
If it's not forbidden, it may lose some of its appeal. If he uses the words you don't like outisde of the house, he may find out soon enough the consequences. Inside the house, you can choose to react or to not react. If it really does bother you, couldn't you take something good away like a video game? You also may have to offer an alternative word for the one he wants to use. Give him a substitute word and use it in a sentence. Reward him for doing the right thing by warmly showing him how proud you are when he speaks in a way that you like.
Kids need positive encouragement and it would be nice if parents gave it more of it even for the littlest things. It makes a kid feel good and could encourage positive behaviour.
He is doing this to get a rise out of you, and it is working. A simple "we don't talk like that around here" would have been a better way to go. Now, he sounds like he is going out of his way to anger you...
Isn't that slang term n word something the kids refer to each other and is ok among themselves?
Um...no! This is used by a child towards another child because he knows it is wrong.
My son doesn't swear at home anymore. I don't know for sure if he is swearing at school. What happened was that he got mad and swore at me on Friday. Well, he has a problem with the 'ch' sound but it came out loud and clear proving that he's had lots of practice with that word.
Monday, teacher was made aware and she gave another lecture about using the right words and that swearing was not only against school rules but against the "Three B's" (their school behavior motto). Monday all was calm.
Tuesday the "B" word is being flung around like candy. Girl on girl, boy on girl, etc.
Wednesday my son walks into my room and says he knows the "N" word. Sure enough he did. After telling him what it meant (he didn't know) and why we don't use that word he said "well that explains why he was calling Student Y from Teacher X's class that." Another brief reminder of why we don't say that word and all was well.
However....the three children involved in "teaching" everyone else are already on individual contracts. The receive points for their behavior each day and then get rewarded at the end of the week based on their points. Pretty backwards if you ask me. So, aside from pulling them into the principals office, the school cannot stop a bunch of 7 and 8 year olds from swearing on the playground.
Swearing in a 7 year old really can't be tolerated for so many reasons...
It isn't important to him that it bothers you. In fact, as others have pointed out, getting a rise out of you might even be his motivation for cussing. I think he's probably just testing the limits, seeing just how much he can get away with. Head butting.
So what is important to your son? Video games, playtime with friends, sports, t.v., computer time? If he swears, something that is important to him should be taken away. He'll soon figure out that cussing isn't worth losing his Wii, and he'll stop swearing.
My rule for my kids is that they can say what they want in the house, but at school and around other people, they need to watch their mouths.
The n word is probably the only word my children never say. We've talked about racism and its ugly history in this country, and how that word dates back to a past of ignorance and hatred, and is never appropriate.
I found with my daughter and with my nieces that if they don't get a rise out of you they will stop using words you don't approve of. As long as he is getting some sort of attention he will continue to swear.
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