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I am writting this post in order to get some information from anyone with knowledge on what I should do and how I can get custody of my son.
My wife and I have been having some troubles lately and she has explained to me that she wants a divorce. You should know I am currrently in Afghanistan in the Army and my wife is stationed back in Germany at our home base. Our Home of address is Texas though. I will be getting out of the Army soon here in Oct. 2012 to start going to college using my G.I.Bill.
With that said, We have a 2 year old son that I have only been around for about 9 months out of the 2 years combined due to deployments to war zones and being involved in NATO Training, Something out of my hands as a soldier. My wife is a great mother and I am a great father, Im not really sure the real reason to why we are divorcing other than she is unhappy with her life.
Everything I have done to stay alive here was because of my son and my wife, working hard so we could have a roof over our head and food on the table as I watched my closest friends being shot and drowning in their own blood.
I now have a total of 3 months left in afghanistan, then I will be going back to a empty home where I wil not see my son again until next October.
My wife has not worked or contributed to anything we have until today, she started a job today after being unemployed for about 2 years.
She will most likely move home to Houston, Texas when I am planning on moving to Austin, Texas about a 150 mile difference to start and finish my college degree. She will be doing the same probably living with her parents, working and going to school. We are pretty equal parents I would say other than the fact about who has brought in the salary.
Im afraid of the truth that I will never be able to see my son, or only on the weekends. I believe that my son should have me in his life and I disearve to have him live with me for some years until he is old enough to tell me what he wants. I want to do whats best for him.
Thank you so much for your service to our country! So sorry that you are going thru this. Are you sure the marriage is over? I would encourage you to do everything you can to try to make the marriage work. It is very difficult for a child to have to deal with divorced parents, two homes, etc. Before you start thinking about custody, I hope you will work on the relationship with your wife and see if you can make that work.
If the marriage is over I hope you will do everything you can to be in your childs life. My sons father chose to leave him and chose to be a minor part of his life. It has changed the life my son could have had. My ex paid very little child support over the years and my son had to grow up with a mom that worked hard and often had too little time to be fun, a mom that was always worried about paying bills. I know I was a good mom but I also know I had alot of stress and worry and no matter how much I tried to pretend - I know my son realized I had these worries. A child needs and deserves both parents.... I wish you well.
I am writting this post in order to get some information from anyone with knowledge on what I should do and how I can get custody of my son.
My wife and I have been having some troubles lately and she has explained to me that she wants a divorce. You should know I am currrently in Afghanistan in the Army and my wife is stationed back in Germany at our home base. Our Home of address is Texas though. I will be getting out of the Army soon here in Oct. 2012 to start going to college using my G.I.Bill.
With that said, We have a 2 year old son that I have only been around for about 9 months out of the 2 years combined due to deployments to war zones and being involved in NATO Training, Something out of my hands as a soldier. My wife is a great mother and I am a great father, Im not really sure the real reason to why we are divorcing other than she is unhappy with her life.
Everything I have done to stay alive here was because of my son and my wife, working hard so we could have a roof over our head and food on the table as I watched my closest friends being shot and drowning in their own blood.
I now have a total of 3 months left in afghanistan, then I will be going back to a empty home where I wil not see my son again until next October.
My wife has not worked or contributed to anything we have until today, she started a job today after being unemployed for about 2 years.
She will most likely move home to Houston, Texas when I am planning on moving to Austin, Texas about a 150 mile difference to start and finish my college degree. She will be doing the same probably living with her parents, working and going to school. We are pretty equal parents I would say other than the fact about who has brought in the salary.
Im afraid of the truth that I will never be able to see my son, or only on the weekends. I believe that my son should have me in his life and I disearve to have him live with me for some years until he is old enough to tell me what he wants. I want to do whats best for him.
I will appreciate anyones opinion or help.
Since civilian attorneys are so expensive, you might try to find out what you can have your JAG officer take care of before you get out of the military.
No matter what the cost...get a *Family Law attorney* to help you with discussion/representation for divorce, settlement and custody and/or visiting rights.
Your service for our country, as well as the service of your fellow soldiers, is deeply appreciated...it is quite humbling to search for words to thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soldier11B
I am writting this post in order to get some information from anyone with knowledge on what I should do and how I can get custody of my son.
My wife and I have been having some troubles lately and she has explained to me that she wants a divorce. You should know I am currrently in Afghanistan in the Army and my wife is stationed back in Germany at our home base. Our Home of address is Texas though. I will be getting out of the Army soon here in Oct. 2012 to start going to college using my G.I.Bill.
With that said, We have a 2 year old son that I have only been around for about 9 months out of the 2 years combined due to deployments to war zones and being involved in NATO Training, Something out of my hands as a soldier. My wife is a great mother and I am a great father, Im not really sure the real reason to why we are divorcing other than she is unhappy with her life.
Everything I have done to stay alive here was because of my son and my wife, working hard so we could have a roof over our head and food on the table as I watched my closest friends being shot and drowning in their own blood.
I now have a total of 3 months left in afghanistan, then I will be going back to a empty home where I wil not see my son again until next October.
My wife has not worked or contributed to anything we have until today, she started a job today after being unemployed for about 2 years.
She will most likely move home to Houston, Texas when I am planning on moving to Austin, Texas about a 150 mile difference to start and finish my college degree. She will be doing the same probably living with her parents, working and going to school. We are pretty equal parents I would say other than the fact about who has brought in the salary.
Im afraid of the truth that I will never be able to see my son, or only on the weekends. I believe that my son should have me in his life and I disearve to have him live with me for some years until he is old enough to tell me what he wants. I want to do whats best for him.
I am writting this post in order to get some information from anyone with knowledge on what I should do and how I can get custody of my son.
My wife and I have been having some troubles lately and she has explained to me that she wants a divorce. You should know I am currrently in Afghanistan in the Army and my wife is stationed back in Germany at our home base. Our Home of address is Texas though. I will be getting out of the Army soon here in Oct. 2012 to start going to college using my G.I.Bill.
With that said, We have a 2 year old son that I have only been around for about 9 months out of the 2 years combined due to deployments to war zones and being involved in NATO Training, Something out of my hands as a soldier. My wife is a great mother and I am a great father, Im not really sure the real reason to why we are divorcing other than she is unhappy with her life.
Everything I have done to stay alive here was because of my son and my wife, working hard so we could have a roof over our head and food on the table as I watched my closest friends being shot and drowning in their own blood.
I now have a total of 3 months left in afghanistan, then I will be going back to a empty home where I wil not see my son again until next October.
My wife has not worked or contributed to anything we have until today, she started a job today after being unemployed for about 2 years.
She will most likely move home to Houston, Texas when I am planning on moving to Austin, Texas about a 150 mile difference to start and finish my college degree. She will be doing the same probably living with her parents, working and going to school. We are pretty equal parents I would say other than the fact about who has brought in the salary.
Im afraid of the truth that I will never be able to see my son, or only on the weekends. I believe that my son should have me in his life and I disearve to have him live with me for some years until he is old enough to tell me what he wants. I want to do whats best for him.
I will appreciate anyones opinion or help.
Thank you for your service. As a mother I'm going through the custody issue as well. After I left the Army, my ex stayed planning to retire.
Every state is different but the way I understand it, the parent that has been the primary care giver will continue as primary unless the parent is found to be unfit, doesn't want custody or any change in circumstances affecting your son. There could be a 50/50 joint custody but seeing that you are moving to different states, that would be difficult. The reason is that the courts don't want to disrupt the environment and care in which the child has adapted. You should consult a attorney. You can still get extended visitation where your son can be with you for the summer and holidays.
I'm not sure which state has jurisdiction over your custody case but here are a few guidelines that can help you in determines what that state judge looks at when determining custody.
Also, there is a website that provides legal advice for custody issues. There are attorneys that can answer your questions on this forum. I hope that helps. Child Custody & Visitation Children
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. As mentioned before, the laws vary by state and if you'll both be in Texas I would guess that those laws would apply. Would you consider joint custody (your son would be with you half of the time and with his mom half of the time) instead of full custody? Full custody can be very hard to get unless the other parent leaves and/or is incompetent which is not the case with you and your wife.
My ex and I were (still are) both committed to doing what's best for our son. When we were divorcing, we went through mediation to come up with a joint custody arrangement that worked for us and our son. You don't have to have custody decided by the courts. If you and your wife can agree on an arrangement, the courts will probably stay out of that decision (there would still be legal paperwork to do). If your wife doesn't want to share custody and/or you can't come up with an agreement, then you can get lawyers involved. But it will save you a lot of time, money and aggravation if you and your wife can work something out on your own or with the help of mediators. If you both agree that the other is a great parent, then this is easier.
Also, as a previous poster asked, are you sure the marriage is over? Is it possible to go to Germany where your wife and son are instead of back to Texas? That way you would be closer to both of them and even if she doesn't want to work on the marriage, you would at least be able to see your son. Have you looked into marriage counseling? I would hope that the Army would have some resources for you.
Since civilian attorneys are so expensive, you might try to find out what you can have your JAG officer take care of before you get out of the military.
20yrsinBranson
If I remember correctly, JAG wont help at all with divorce/custody issues. The military is very anti-divorce. I know when I divorced my ex who was in the military, he went to them for assistance and they advised him to contact a civilian lawyer as they couldnt help him.
They always talk about "in the best interest of the child". Ideally, both you and his mom will be actively involved in his life. My suggestion is to find a way to live near each other and look into joint custody. I don't think you having sole custody is in his best interest since he has been with his mom most of his life. Despite your differences, you can come up with a plan that works best for the child. You will both need to be selfless and flexible.
If I remember correctly, JAG wont help at all with divorce/custody issues. The military is very anti-divorce. I know when I divorced my ex who was in the military, he went to them for assistance and they advised him to contact a civilian lawyer as they couldnt help him.
"Possession is 9/10ths of the law" applies very well in a custody situation. In the dissolution of a relationship, the parent who has the child at the time retains full custody until a custody agreement is put into effect. If she is planning on taking your child from the home base in Germany, she then retains custody but if she absolutely intends to start divorce proceedings, you need to initiate first so you can get your request for at least joing custody first. Also you might want to post this question in the military life forum as they may know more.
From what I understand growing up in a military family and living around a military community, above poster is correct, the military is very anti divorce, that being said the military is also very family oriented and will make sure that he takes care of his responsibility as a father. But they also frown greatly upon her leaving the marriage while he is deployed because as a military spouse she has a responsibility to support her husband during a deployment. I would at least attempt to contact a family service coordinator at his home base, if there is one. Or JAG if there is no other option.
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