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I can't tell you how many "inappropriate" books my 5th grader has read so far. She's at a very advanced reading level, so she is reading books meant for 8th graders or above. I won't let her read, Twilight, but she has read books that deal with mature issues, and she LOVES them. She is more engaged when the books are more "mature". She is not a Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm or Little Women type of kid. So, my question is, how much input do you have when a kid is 11yo? Her teacher gave her a copy of The Glass Castle a couple of months ago, and I was aghast, but I didn't intervene. They were studying memoirs and the teacher thought this was the perfect example of memoir. Needless to say, my dd devoured it and has been attracted to heavy and darkish books since. Opinions? How do you handle this?
The Glass Castle is an excellent book. Twilight is a 6th grade book here. I would rather my child read a memoir even if it is "gritty" than play some of the popular shoot-em-up video games.
My kids are too young to be going through this, but I can tell you what my parents did with me. I also was reading above my age-level and was more interested in adult books than tween books. My otherwise conservative mom never censored what I could read, but steered me towards things she had already read or read new things either before or after I did and we'd "discuss" issues that came up in the book, kind of like an impromptu book club. Looking back, I think it was a pretty smart move on her part, because we could talk about otherwise awkward or uncomfortable issues in the context of being a consumer of literature (I.e., the focus was on the book, rather than on whatever "issue" but the issues were still discussed). I never lost my love of reading and I credit my parents with that.
I'd like to think that elementary teachers might give me a heads up if they are recommending books to my kids, especially adult novels.
The only thing that really bothers me, as a former English teacher, is how many best sellers are "required reading" in high schools now. The books my kids have brought home over the years are none I recognize as from "the canon" of must-read literature that builds a quality education.
I got my education degree when the world was rebelling against teaching only books written by "old white dudes," and To Kill a Mockingbird was the only one on the list written by a woman. Nowadays the "canon" has expanded quite a bit. But I still think kids should get a foundation of literature somewhere. And no, Twilight and Carl Hiaasen don't count.
I do think that just because a kid can technically read a book doesn't mean they should read a book. If a recommendation gives you pause, you certainly should discuss the decision with the teacher. It doesn't have to be "intervening." But if you think a book is oK for your child, that's great.
Parenting is not the same as censorship. My favorite description of how to exercise parental judgment comes from Corrie Ten Boom, who told this story about when she was approximately 9 yrs old:
“And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexism?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case off the seat and set it on the floor.
Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
It's too heavy," I said.
Yes," he said, "and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”
― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place
My rule for books in my house is that if you're able to read it and want to read it, go for it. My daughter read the Twilight series when she was in 3rd grade.
When I was in school, we had to read a lot of the classics. I really didn't enjoy them very much, and I am usually an avid reader. As an adult, I reread many of the books I had to read in school, and I still didn't enjoy them. I think it's better to have kids reading the more recent and popular books, if those books will get them interested in reading. Let them read the classics later on if they're inclined to.
My mom used to censor my reading. She'd flip through the books and if she saw any bad words, or anything she thought the Pope would frown upon, she'd take them away. The trick was to read the book before she had time to flip through it. I learned to read pretty fast from that.
Some of the young adult books now are really trashy...Twilight is tame stuff compared to some of the others I've read.
I wouldn't have a problem with The Glass Castle either. It was mostly written from the perspective of Jeanette Wall's childhood anyway, and while sad and "gritty", there was nothing gratuitous about it.
I used to take my boys to the book store when they were younger, and instruct them to find something that they would want to read. The usually gravitated to the books about war. Not my interest, and more violent by far than The Glass Castle, but they devoured them.
I think my issue with The Glass Castle was the drunken father, mother with mental illness, Jeanette being sexually assualted by boys when younger, etc. The themes seemed very harsh for a young child (my daughter was 10 at the time). Today my daughter claims it to be her favorite book. I guess, "aghast" was too strong a word, because I didn't put up a fight. I guess I would rather she ready heavy books than what I call "fluffy" books, but when I see she is reading only heavy books, I might try to suggest a book that is more for an 11yo. Thank you for all of your responses. I like the quote from Corrie Ten Boom,though I would have had no problem telling a 9yo about sexism. I might have saved that "example" for something very harsh. But then again, I answered my daughter honestly when she asked how gay men have sex. She asked within the last few months. I didn't want to answer, but I felt compelled to be honest. (that's for another topic) It's hard knowing what to do sometimes.
I dont have a child of this age yet but I am young enough to remember well my experience as a child. My mom loved loved loved trashy romance, which as an adult i just dont understand. But as a kid, i just wanted to read because my mom read constantly. I didnt want to read a book with a half naked man and woman on the cover but I did read Great Expectations in full in 3rd grade. I read anything I could get my hands on, and still do. My apartment was looking for a while like Im a book hoarder. My sister loved John Grisham, Stephen King and Anne Rice. I cant read any of those because I just dont like the style. I read fantasy, CLEAN romance and classics. I read LOTR, Game of Thrones, Twilight and a lot of classics. Every person has their own individual books style. Before giving my son a book I would read its info on a website like Goodreads who has very indepth synopsis' and reviews. But as far as genre or reading level, if he wants to read it, im going to be very happy that he wants to read. So many kids dont read anymore
When I was in about the 5th grade, so maybe 10 or 11 years old, one of my adult sisters was reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, and I picked it up and started reading. That is a very deep, dark book dealing with racism, poverty, sexuality, and rape, and of course some of it went over my head, but that book stayed with me and to this day remains one of my favorites. I don't think reading it at such a young age caused me any harm, and if anything, it made me think about issues in a more mature way.
I also remember, around the same age, reading a VC Andrews book, Petals on the Wind, in class and my teacher asking me, "Does your mother know you're reading that?" I've always been an avid reader, and my mom never censored anything I read. I learned about things maybe earlier than I should have, but I think that helped me more than it hurt. I don't plan on censoring my child's reading material either. I have a bigger problem with what she may see on TV than anything she might read.
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