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I have a question for this thread. How does spanking ever teach a child right from wrong? Who benefits by the spanking episode? Does the child now respect the person administering the physical punishment, or is there resentment now being built up? Does the person 'doing' the spanking feel justified and 'good' for having inflicted physical pain? What lessons are learned?
Spanking can be interpreted as an incomplete form of constructive criticism to wrongdoing by the child. The child feels physical pain, which will, hopefully, wear away in time. Then the child is now free to continue to behave in the manner that precipitated the punishment. Without verbal punishment, the wrongdoing is really left not addressed. Words can never be taken back and when a child is confronted with verbal chastisement, this manner of confrontation to the incident will remain much longer.
Hitting, slapping, the use of sticks, belts, and other objects can unfortunately lead to the parent/adult losing control and inflicting something far worse than what may have been intended. Would any parent/adult admit to feeling gratified after using this method for teaching the child to become a self sufficient, happy, and admirable member of society?
What has the child learned? That it is the correct manner in dealing with any and all situations that are less than perfect? Wouldn't a serious discussion with a child following their misdeed be longer lasting and both parties would/could feel that their self esteem had not been destroyed? Unless, and this may be the case, the parent/adult just doesn't give a da....?
who says a lecture doesn't come free of charge with the spanking. Usually it is an escalation from verbal correction that leads to the spanking. Then the child goes to their room and then there is another discussion. I have never bruised my children.
I am 110% against the hitting of children. Anyone who hits a child does not deserve to be a parent. Why would you one one hand teach a kid to not hit or attack someone, yet at the same time use physical force on your children? It seems some adults have some kind of sick obsession with hitting children.
I have 2 kids, do not and have never hit them in any way shape or form, and they are very well behaved, respectful of others, and very nice and giving to others. Complimented constantly on their behavior by their teachers.
There are consequences in our house for bad behavior, but I think we're past the caveman days of physical punishment, if you want to hit something stop being a coward and pick on someone your own size.
I'm awaiting the day when people will be arrested for hitting kids. At this point, a dog seems to have more protection under the law than a human child.
actually in Texas, as long as you don't bruise or break bones it is legal. funny, my spanked children regularly get the citizenship awards at school for good behavior. But I must be doing something wrong because you don't like it.
I don't believe in spanking and fortunately I was never spanked as a child. As a parent, my goal is to earn my children's respect not their fear. When I think of the emotional scars some people carry for life for enduring corporal punishment, I don't see how it can be an effective disciplining method. There many other ways to raise socially responsible children without breaking their spirit.
I'm sorry, but if spanking your child leaves emotional scars, you need therapy.
Only when they were younger. After a certain age, it is not effective, just humiliating. I think we stopped at around 7 or 8. I think it varied with the kid. For some of them it is the only thing that works for others it never worked.
My son is 25 and was never spanked. He was so sensitive to criticism . . . a quizzical look would break his heart. He is a very kind and caring young man.
However . . . I have had family members who didn't spank their kids and frankly, I would like to have had to opportunity to pop their kids' bottoms myself, as they simply were not getting the kids' attention by TALKING and YELLING . . . and I have thought many times - pop that bottom and that will get their attention . . . and then try talking to them about the behavior (plus some time out for reinforcement).
I think this is a very individual decision based on the child's temperament and the parents' ability to manage their own anger. Discipline is to teach something; many parents strike a child out of anger. That is going to get everyone NOWHERE. So I do not stand in judgement of any else's decision to spank or not to spank. Parents have to figure out how to teach their children and what best works in their own households.
However . . . I have had family members who didn't spank their kids and frankly, I would like to have had to opportunity to pop their kids' bottoms myself, as they simply were not getting the kids' attention by TALKING and YELLING . . . and I have thought many times - pop that bottom and that will get their attention . . . and then try talking to them about the behavior (plus some time out for reinforcement).
I think this is a very individual decision based on the child's temperament and the parents' ability to manage their own anger. Discipline is to teach something; many parents strike a child out of anger. That is going to get everyone NOWHERE. So I do not stand in judgement of any else's decision to spank or not to spank. Parents have to figure out how to teach their children and what best works in their own households.
Great Post!! I have family like this, too. I have a relative whose kid was acting up at a family party. His Grandma told him to knock it off and he just ignored her. The kids great-grandfather then very sternly told him to stop it and listen to his Grandma. The kid kept going and going.... disobeying and disrespecting his elders. I wanted to give him a good "attention getter" myself. I had to walk away!! His mother wasn't there, but it doesn't matter, he acts that way when she is around, too. Suprise, suprise, he has almost no friends! I feel bad that nobody has stepped up and TAUGHT him how to behave!!
Not a parent, never married, no kids... but WILL use physical discipline as a parent (of course, I hope never to use it beyond the absolutely necessary).
I firmly believe in "spare the rod, spoil the child."
I believe it is sending the wrong message, by using physical punishment when we are not happy with behavior or outcome. What does that teach, for her to be physical with another who she is not happy with? No, she should sit down and discuss like an intelligent individual, which is how we have always treated her.
Spanking is done to an animal, when they went to the bathroom inside, because they do not understand English communication. A child is not an animal, and should be treated equally.
Great Post!! I have family like this, too. I have a relative whose kid was acting up at a family party. His Grandma told him to knock it off and he just ignored her. The kids great-grandfather then very sternly told him to stop it and listen to his Grandma. The kid kept going and going.... disobeying and disrespecting his elders. I wanted to give him a good "attention getter" myself. I had to walk away!! His mother wasn't there, but it doesn't matter, he acts that way when she is around, too. Suprise, suprise, he has almost no friends! I feel bad that nobody has stepped up and TAUGHT him how to behave!!
With many children, this can only be taught with the proverbial rod.
With many children, this can only be taught with the proverbial rod.
Agree.
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