How to raise Dysfunctional Children (divorced, babies, parents, husband) - Parenting -Children, problems, school, daycare, behavior, age, teenagers, infants - City-Data Forum

mangodog · 04-21-2012, 03:38 PM

HOW TO SCREW UP YOUR CHILDREN

1. Harp on them constantly, telling them that they are stupid or what

they do is stupid.

2. When you are drunk or stoned and upset, call them queare, sissy,

foolish, dumb, worthless.

3. Compare them to the neighbor's childrens achievements.

4. If you have more than one child you can pit one against the other

and then switch back and forth.

5. You can threaten to send them back to the divorced spouse, or relatives.

6. You can say, "I wish I never had you."

7. If I had more money I would have sent you away to a boarding school.

8. Eat and s*** , Eat and S*** - thats all you ever do. (costing me lots of money).

9. I'll bet Wayne and Bobby dont stay up All Night doing homework. (electric bill too high)

And when they eventually leave the nest and never call you or write,

or visit, you can say to yourself, what Ungrateful Brats.

Hedgehog_Mom · 04-21-2012, 03:54 PM

Tons of people are raised in less than ideal families and situations. You can let it mess you up for life, or you can look at your early years as a what-not-to-do primer and go on to live a happy, productive life and be a good spouse and parent.

Mattie · 04-21-2012, 04:02 PM

I doubt you will find the parents this is targeted at on the CD parenting forum.

Magritte25 · 04-21-2012, 04:02 PM

Mango,

I like the way you wrote this. Thanks for posting!

mangodog · 04-22-2012, 03:53 PM

Oh and I forgot, 10. You are just like your mother ! Or You are just like your Father ! ( each parent blames you for the other they see in you. )

mangodog · 04-22-2012, 03:57 PM

So that adled brained adults dont make babies helter skelter and F them up real good.

Hedgehog_Mom · 04-22-2012, 05:09 PM

OP, about the message you posted on my profile...

I'm serious, if you're over 25 and you're still blaming your parents for your emotional issues, you need to reevaluate. At some point you have to take control of your life and make your own happiness, or realize it's not your parents holding you back, it's you, yourself. My husband and I both grew up with a lot of the things on your list, and some others that you forgot to mention, including physical abuse and neglect. Neither of us have let it ruin our lives. We're happy and raising our kids well.

Magritte25 · 04-22-2012, 07:47 PM

I don't see a thing wrong with acknowledging upbringing as a catalyst to present issues. It's cathartic to be able to feel and acknowledge this. Upbringing is a HUGE part of our lives.

Once it is acknowledged, the next step is dealing with it and taking ownership of you. You are not what your parents are/were or what they said you are/were. Once you internalize this, you'll do great OP!

mangodog · 04-23-2012, 08:04 AM

So all we need to do is tell all the people in Prison that :You are not what your parents are/were or what they said you are/were. ( this is great coming from very well balanced people who grew up in normal healthy mom and dad families ).... I feel so much better now, after the verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from stepfath** and alcoholic father who hated the entire clan of my mother's side and grew to hate my mother for walking out on him when I was 2 or 3; then would rant and rage at the supper table with moi. I wound up growing up with a mom moving to Vegas who did not know what exactly she wanted in life and then eventually marries a guy resolved not to be single forever. She dies at age 47 of cancer. The 2 of them put a plate in front of me, no seconds, they were in their own world and ignored me emotionally. I move in my "dad" who could not fathom the responsibility of raising a kid even though he made outstanding money by today's standards. I left the house as soon as I graduated from H.S. Did not even go to the prom, as I was such a wreck. Sought solice in getting as much education as I could. ( it is O.K. to vent on this forum isnt it ???? ......... Hope this prevents others from Screwing Up Their Babies to be. )

FinsterRufus · 04-23-2012, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mangodog

HOW TO SCREW UP YOUR CHILDREN

1. Harp on them constantly, telling them that they are stupid or what

they do is stupid.

2. When you are drunk or stoned and upset, call them queare, sissy,

foolish, dumb, worthless.

3. Compare them to the neighbor's childrens achievements.

4. If you have more than one child you can pit one against the other

and then switch back and forth.

5. You can threaten to send them back to the divorced spouse, or relatives.

6. You can say, "I wish I never had you."

7. If I had more money I would have sent you away to a boarding school.

8. Eat and s*** , Eat and S*** - thats all you ever do. (costing me lots of money).

9. I'll bet Wayne and Bobby dont stay up All Night doing homework. (electric bill too high)

And when they eventually leave the nest and never call you or write,

or visit, you can say to yourself, what Ungrateful Brats.

I agree entirely. I'm sorry if this is what happened to you. Those are soul destroying things to say to a child. You're quite welcome to get it off your chest.