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Goodness! Equating leaving your child in a neighborhood park with other kids around to a tiger in captivity is about the most histrionic metaphor I've ever seen.
Doesn't matter. I wouldn't do one just like I wouldn't do the other, because there is no need for either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Were you allowed to do anything alone or with friends? When?
No, Magritte. My mom shackled me in my room 100 feet underground just to be safe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
So, your parents accompanied you everywhere until you were 18?
Sure
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParallelJJCat
It's also not even an equivalent argument. The equivalent would be saying getting mauled by a captive tiger is very rare...but because of it I never take my children to the zoo.
Actually, no. I'd take my kid to the zoo just like I'd take him to the park - with me going with him! And if I knew all the kidnappers and other criminals were locked in cages at the park, I'd be more likely to let my kid play there unattended.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
There is no need. I *need* to eat this month some time. But there is very strong desire. My dd feels very confident, strong, responsible and resourceful. SHE knows how to handle the very small risk of an attacker. She knows how to get in touch with me if she needs to.
If we only ever did what we *need* to do, life would be boring and the kids horrifically sheltered. I will take our 4 visits to the ER in 8 years of life over a timid kid any day.
Are you saying there's a strong desire for a young kid to play at the park with their parent completely out of sight? If so, why?
Since me simply being at the park will not necessarily make the experience "boring" to my son, I don't see your point. Forgive me.
.... and by the way, 1% seems HUGE to me.... is that accurate??? So I personally know probably about 300 kids, family, close friends.... 3 of them will be kidnapped?? My kids school has 1,000 kids... we can expect 10 of them to be kidnapped? I would consider that VERY high, personally.
That's what happens when you don't understand the numbers. This includes kids that are missing in a store for 5 minutes. Mom tells security, security calls the police, the kid is found playing in the toy aisle. This includes teenagers running away from home, custody disputes, kids forgetting to tell mom they are at a freinds house, and many other situations.
Again... you have to back out of this number the normal parents that don't leave their elementary school kids in the park by themselves and actually properly supervise their offspring. 99% of the abductions that I've heard about on the news, I can honestly say that my children have never been in that situation or position. Even Elizabeth Smart, that was kidnapped in her bed.... I have never welcomed homeless people to do cheap labor at my house and have access to my home and family, or let someone from Craig's list come and pick up things at my home that I am selling, etc. Its called precautions, and they are little steps you do daily so you don't beat yourself up over it later.
Again, crime is down since I was a free range kid. But even when I was running around the neighborhood with my gang of friends, my chances of getting abducted were extremely low. 99% of the time when parents allow their children to roam free in reasonable ways, absolutely nothing bad happens.
This isn't to say you shouldn't take precautions. Know your neighbor and the real crime stats for it. Teach your children to trust their instincts and what to do if they are approached. Make sure they know important information like their home address and phone number.
As someone else noted, you could lock your kids in one room and they would have zero chance of ever getting abducted. But we need to balance safety with others things, correct?
Most people would say locking your kids in one room isn't a 'little step' or a reasonable precaution. I would say never letting your eight year old children out of your sight isn't a little step or reasonable either. You can let your kids have some freedom and still take precautions.
As again as others have stated, your child's risk of being in a car accident is much greater than their risk of being abducted. So why do parents strap their kiddos in without thinking about that risk? If any of this was truly about avoiding risk, we'd happily boot them outside everyday but never let them in a car unless we absolutely had to.
But it isn't about risk at all. It's about fear, and the role the media plays in our lives.
uh, you do realize that children are kidnapped right out of thier own bedrooms- when the parents were at home. Going to start sleeping with your child every night?
God, I feel bad for some kids who just can't live a normal childhood because parents "what if" far too much
well, I do lock my doors nightly, have an alarm, a loud dog, and have a loaded firearm ready. And I have actually passed on a house that would have a child's bedroom on the first floor away from the master..... And I don't pass out from drugs or alcohol at night, or have parties where questionable people are present, as some of those abducted children's poor excuse of parents have.
That's what happens when you don't understand the numbers. This includes kids that are missing in a store for 5 minutes. Mom tells security, security calls the police, the kid is found playing in the toy aisle. This includes teenagers running away from home, custody disputes, kids forgetting to tell mom they are at a freinds house, and many other situations.
Yes...these stats include all kinds of situations that most would not think of as an 'abduction'. That's why there is a separate number (115) for actual typical abductions that most people think of when they think of that term.
Also...1% doesn't mean 1% out of any given group. Out of 75 million children, 1% will be abducted(and most will be recovered within a few minutes). That doesn't mean that 3 children from every group of 3 hundred will be abducted. That's not how percentages work. It means a child in the US has a 1% risk of being abducted.
well, I do lock my doors nightly, have an alarm, a loud dog, and have a loaded firearm ready. And I have actually passed on a house that would have a child's bedroom on the first floor away from the master..... And I don't pass out from drugs or alcohol at night, or have parties where questionable people are present, as some of those abducted children's poor excuse of parents have.
............next....
Which is somehow bad parenting, I guess.
I'll just add that there is no such thing as a normal childhood. But one could argue being kidnapped or jumped or recruited by a gang can stand in the way of having a "normal childhood" too.
In order to cement your argument you would have to not ride in cars at all or let your children ride in cars. Even in a proper child restraint or a seatbelt for an older child their chance of dying in a car accident is thousands of times more likely than something happening to my child at the park in 60 minutes...so your stats are not anywhere near 0.
in order for you to prove your point, I would be keeping my child from all parks all of their childhood. I am not. I am SUPERVISING them while they are at the park, until they are of an age where I think it appropriate (NOT 8). Just like I am putting them in seatbelts and carseats, and buying cars with high safety ratings.
How are my statistics of my child getting kidnapped by a stanger while alone at a park NOT 0???? They are never alone at a park (while 8), therefore an impossibility. They will never ride on a bus to another state by themselves, therefore 0. I am not saying nothing will ever happen to my child, but I can eliminate many, many possibilities.
well, I do lock my doors nightly, have an alarm, a loud dog, and have a loaded firearm ready. And I have actually passed on a house that would have a child's bedroom on the first floor away from the master..... And I don't pass out from drugs or alcohol at night, or have parties where questionable people are present, as some of those abducted children's poor excuse of parents have.
............next....
You do realize 400, 000 children require treatment in an emergency department each year for dog bites don't you? And 3 children die every day in non-homicide firearm incidents. How irresponsible to own a dog or a firearm when you have a child.
Do you see where this is headed? Know the real risk.
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Doesn't matter. I wouldn't do one just like I wouldn't do the other, because there is no need for either.
