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well, if you read Lenore Skenazy's blog.... she would let her 8 year old travel on the subway across NY city by himself, but she WOULD NOT allow him to take her cell phone with him, because he was too irresponsible and might loose it. That is just INSANE to me, and does sound like convenience parenting. I'd much rather take the chance of having to buy a new cell phone than taking the chance of digging in some landfill somewhere trying to find the remains of my child. To each their own!
You know I probably wouldn't allow my kid to ride the subway either but I will say that when we lived in NYC the subway was packed with kids every morning taking the train to school. What she did might be unusual for her (and I think her child was 9) socio-economic group but taking the subway is very typical for the vast majority of NYC's kids. And just as an aside, the NYC subway system is very safe and always crowded. I would think for a child that grew up taking the subway every day it would not be a big deal at all. Again our perspective is skewed because most of us don't take the subway as a usual part of our lives.
When I lived in NYC cell phones didn't work in the subway tunnels, that may have changed though.
ETA - For the record I don't think there's any comparison to letting my 8yr old go to the neighborhood park with her friends and letting a kid ride the subway alone.
As an aside because many people have joined this thread without reading the whole thing (and I don't blame them, its huge!), my daughter did go to the neighborhood park two blocks from our home on a residential street on Saturday with a group of kids from our neighborhood which is in a small town in Washington State. I did send her with a cell phone. She had a great time and thought nothing of it really, the kids came back and we all had hot dogs...in thinking about it the hot dogs were probably deadlier than the trip to the park.
It's in the air. My 8yo went with a friend of hers alone just a couple of months ago -- the first time on her own --, and I did my first (and only!) sneak visit in a car, checking on her. No more visits since then. They go and play about twice a week.
You know, it teaches her teeny-weeny things about life that we the parents wouldn't even think of mentioning. For example, she'd load on inflatable beach toys and towels/change and bike down the hill. Coming home uphill means dragging all that stuff like a mule. Sweaty, hot. The lesson: take less things when going biking; the times of roomy car trunks are over.
Telling, or allowing an eight year old child to play outside is huuugely different than "dropping" them at a park and leaving them.
This thread sounds like a joke to see how many folks can be made to ignore their common sense and doubt themselves.
For goodness sakes people, for the millionth time I didn't drop my kid off at a park alone. She walked the entire two blocks with a group of kids from our neighborhood. I fail to understand how a small playground is different than someone's yard two blocks away.
For the people who are using the sex offender registries:
1. Many sex offenders are never caught, so they are not on the registry
2. Many of those on the registry are actually on it for offenses that do not involve children at all.
3. Some of those on the registry are young men who had consensual sex with their girlfriends as teens and the mother pressed charges because of the age difference (19 year old with 16 year old, for example).
Many children commute to schools using public transport. Here in Atlanta many kids ride the train, and cell phones do not work in the underground sections.
When I was a kid for a year I caught a city bus for an hour each way to get to school.
I was a nanny in London in the 80's, and many young kids rode on the tube alone to school.
They have nothing too protest so they make up something. It appears that there are the folks that see reason in making sure that your child is safely supervised, whether at your local park or in your own neighborhood...And those that think that supervision is kin to smothering. It probably is somewhere in the middle....there are some pretty extreme descriptions of the folks willing to leave a child to his/her own devices, and to the mercy of whomever sees you drive off leaving your child alone.
I was the neighborhood mom that took my 3 little boys nearly daily down the street to our park. On the way I would pick up any little child that had Mom's permission. My Son's are healthy, independent and had a Mom there watching them do all the scarey things boys do. I think it is a pity that there isn't a Take your Child to the Park and Play w/ them Day....
Those of us that have mentioned some of the variables involved, included among those variables those folks that would harm children, for that We have been treated like alarmist. The facts are the facts, you cannot watch the news, and pretend that these little kids aren't being put at risk...to what end??
Teach your children independence and age appropriate skills, that can happen anywhere...and you don't have to be neglectful or put them at risk to do that. This thread seems more to be a test of parenting, than childhood independence.
You don't teach a child how to drive by handing them the keys and saying see you later. Common sense has to be part of your daily living skills....They only get one childhood....be part of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709
I am sorry to hear that, but you are the example I was trying to show in the first few pages of this thread! * is waaaaay too young, absolutely.
I still do not understand why parents would even choose to take the gamble! I guess they play the odds in the hopes the results will be good.
Because we are speaking of living humans who start expressing their own needs and desires, at 8 on average, plus-minus 2 years. Trying to impose limits on an 8 years old doesn't work as well as on a 2yo toddler. The desire to be with their friends - biking, going to the beach, going to get an ice cream - is becoming irresistible -- and this is just about the age when the parents are starting to feel that their kids are not attached to their skirts anymore. It's the age of huge realizations for both parties.
So 6 could be okay in your opinion, also?
I wasn't asking what made everyone here say "8 is fine, but not 2". I asked, essentially, "How young is too young?"
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