Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If he is living in your house you surely can or he can find his own place. Unless dad is to the point he can't help himself of course then there isn't much you can do.
He is 90 years old. He isn't going to change at 90 years old. I don't think the OP is going to have her 90 year old father move into his own place.
Anyway this is not 1943 in that the husband works a 9-5 job then comes home and zones out in front of the tv after work and on his weekends, while mom is expected to work every moment she is conscious. Simply put it you marry into a partnership and as so it's expected to be 50/50 at home. The same goes for the kiddos as well. Since once they hit 5-6 they are at the chore age and can start helping out. And if they don't you simply 'forget' about things they need/want.
He is 90 years old. He isn't going to change at 90 years old. I don't think the OP is going to have her 90 year old father move into his own place.
I would *cracks whip*
The energy to do so would be better spent on the son.
I'd hope for that particular poster to not to resent the old man... his time is short and resentment would amount to a lot of wasted moments. It is definitely hard work, no doubt.
Anyway this is not 1943 in that the husband works a 9-5 job then comes home and zones out in front of the tv after work and on his weekends, while mom is expected to work every moment she is conscious.
How one chooses to mold their marriage is up to them. My best friend is a SAHM. Their arrangement looks quite a lot like what we think of as the 1950s. He works and makes plenty of money. She takes care of the kids and home. Since she does not work outside of the home, she has plenty of time and by no means works "every moment she is conscious" which is a pretty ridiculous characterization. Their partnership was in working out this arrangement that works very well for them.
The energy to do so would be better spent on the son.
I'd hope for that particular poster to not to resent the old man... his time is short and resentment would amount to a lot of wasted moments. It is definitely hard work, no doubt.
I agree. I remember waiting on my Alzheimer g'ma. Poor old woman. But the kid. The effort goes there.
How one chooses to mold their marriage is up to them. My best friend is a SAHM. Their arrangement looks quite a lot like what we think of as the 1950s. He works and makes plenty of money. She takes care of the kids and home. Since she does not work outside of the home, she has plenty of time and by no means works "every moment she is conscious" which is a pretty ridiculous characterization. Their partnership was in working out this arrangement that works very well for them.
If that's how they decide to work things out it's fine. I don't see why because one works outside the house 8 hours a day means the the SAHP is meant to do everything else however.
If that's how they decide to work things out it's fine. I don't see why because one works outside the house 8 hours a day means the the SAHP is meant to do everything else however.
In my opinion, the notion that "everything else" is a24x7 job is erroneous. The only way everything else takes all that time is if you are terribly ineffective. People who are ineffective don't keep paying jobs for long. So why would Mr or Mrs effective have to come home and bail out Mr or Mrs ineffective.
In my opinion, the notion that "everything else" is a24x7 job is erroneous. The only way everything else takes all that time is if you are terribly ineffective. People who are ineffective don't keep paying jobs for long. So why would Mr or Mrs effective have to come home and bail out Mr or Mrs ineffective.
No one is saying they need to bail out anyone. But when daddy or mommy comes home they should not be free to laze around while the other one continues to work.
Thanks for letting me vent. I did have a short chat with both father and son yesterday and asked that they put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher as opposed to just leaving them in the sink. That's something even my 90 year old can handle; he's an expert at loading the dishwasher to full capacity.
My dad promptly rinsed off ALL the dishes in the sink - including my son's - and I told that DS needed to rinse off his own dishes. So, that was sweet of my Dad though.
Told DS same thing AND I did not want to see wet towels laying in every room (he's a swimmer so we have a lot of these).
When I got home; no towels on the floor or dirty clothes and clean clothes were put away.
I guess I have to just start announcing my expectations. Everyone wanted the big house - but only as long as "I" take care of it. My son does cut the grass, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
*cracks whip*
