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Say you have a 16 year old boy or girl, and recently discovered they were sexually active. However, the boy or girl or both always use protection. Would you allow this, or would you not be so tolerant?
Say you have a 16 year old boy or girl, and recently discovered they were sexually active. However, the boy or girl or both always use protection. Would you allow this, or would you not be so tolerant?
I am not a parent but I can say how my mom handled this situation being the mother of two girls. When I was 18 I had my first real boyfriend. I was SHOCKED when one day in the car my mom asked me if I wanted to go on the pill. She said "You are 18 now and I think its time you go to the gynecologist. I was 18 when I started going. Perhaps she can put you on the pill if you want." Now I know she wasn't encouraging it but it was good to know the option was there and I took her up on it. She did the same to my sister but she was 16.
I grew up in a home where sex was a taboo subject. I had to learn everything at school. My mom didn't even explain what happens to girls when they go through puberty.
I'd like to be a little more open with my kids. I don't agree that they should be having sex at that age. However, if they are going to I would really want them to be using all the protection possible. At the same time birth control is not 100%. My third child was unplanned and we were using protection but I still got pregant.
Very hard to say.
As a parent and also as a once sexual active 16 year old I would have to say that parents don't have much of a choice but to tolerate it and help their kids make the best decisions. Unless of course you are going to lock the kids up and never let them out.
I think you can voice your disagreement with their decision but you should not bury your head in the sand and assume because you said don't have sex they won't.
I would much rather be the father of a sixteen year old having protected sex than a father of daughter who has some VD or a grandfather at 40!!
So funny----Allow it? What are you going to say? Ok I know you have been having sex but I will not allow it from here on out? So ridiculous.
The best thing to do is make sure they know and have available to them anything to keep them safe before they get active. Not after.
We have so little control of what our teens do while not in our sight but we should remember what hormones were like at that age and be prepared to protect them from their own runaway hormones.
I would tolerate it and make sure my kid had access to birth control and other protection. I think it's naive to think there's anything you can do to stop it. At least you can try to keep them safe. If they don't have access to protection, they would probably just have unprotected sex anyway, so better to supply protection.
My vote was look negatively and tolorate it because they were using protection - the thing is to try as long as prossible to prolong the inevititable but once it happens there's nothing you can really do. If she was my child I would have long discussion as to the benifits for waiting and take her to the drs and do whatever I can to make sure she's being as safe as possible but make no mistake about it I would not be happy or condoning it in anyway.
Sexual education starts at a young age and progresses throughout your childs life. The "talk" should not be a one time event in your childs life, but an ongoing dialogue. If you teach your kids honestly and openly and keep an open dialogue, then they will be prepared to make the right decisions when the time comes.
While I would teach the benefits of waiting and the reasons for it, I would also be teaching them the consequences and how to protect themselves. I would also make sure that they are fully aware that nothing is 100%. The biggest issue I've seen among peers at that age and younger kids in the family is a complete lack of understanding of the consequences because no one taught them.
For instance, my nephew who is 8 years younger than me had no idea at 15 when he was telling me he thought he and his girlfriend were going to have sex that contraception wasn't 100%. He told me that she was on the pill so it was OK. He had no idea that medications and anti-biotics lower the pills efficacy. He also didn't know that pre-ejaculate can carry sperm and get a girl pregnant (he thought "pulling out" made it impossible). He didn't know that condoms weren't 100%, nor did he know how to properly store (he had two in his wallet for the past 6 months) and use one and what to do when you were done. He also didn't know that despite her being on the pill and him using a condom correctly that she could still get pregnant. His parents had the talk with him, but it was just a "talk" and he didn't feel comfortable asking them, so he was relying on his friends for info. I set him straight without preaching to him and although he and his girlfriend did choose to have sex they went into it knowing how to do it as safe as possible and aware of the consequences.
I can't tell if the OP is a parent, but if you have some magical way to prevent a sixteen-year-old from having sex when s/he wants to you can become rich selling it to the parents of teenagers.
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