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I remember, when I was younger (am turning 40 in a month!!) that I walked all over at 6 years old. So did my husband, and not in the best neighborhood, even then. Nowadays, I sit and think "what were our parents thinking?", because I could never do that. I guess I am too protective. Yes, I would let my 11 year old son walk up the block. Do I let him go around the corner by himself, or walk a couple of blocks to his friends house by himself- no. Should I? I don't know. I don't live in the best neighborhood either, but not the worst. And I know anything can happen at any time, and I know that I am too over protective. And do I think about the awful stories, like the one whose 8 year old son was kidnapped and murdered the first time the mother let him walk up the street to his school by himself...and if I were that mother would I be sitting, for the rest of my life, throwing the blame on myself of "...if I didn't let him do that..."....yes, I would. Can I prevent everything, and keep my son in a bubble? No. Do I think maybe he should be allowed? Maybe. Will I let him do it at 13? Yes, probably. What is the difference of that age? As another poster said, even adults get kidnapped. I know. I do think I have to let go at some time. At 13 he'll be much bigger (he's a big child as it is- and I don't mean heavy, I mean tall for his age with the weight to match- 5'1 and 108 lbs at almost 12), and honestly, won't be as easy prey. Hey-I'm a mother and if I can protect, even just a little, I will....but I also will let go of the umbilical cord a bit too...in time.
I think you need to loosen the leash a length at a time. When they are responsible enough to get from point A to point B by themselves - let them. Just pick a safe route (and stick to it), make sure that they know what to do if ever approached by a stranger (never, ever get into another person's car unless your parents say it is o.k.) and have them call you when they arrive safely. I think it's best to start these habits well before they are teenagers and have a lot of freedom and you can still get to them quickly if you need to.
Kids have been snatched from their beds at night or while playing in their own front and back yards. Does that mean that they shouldn't sleep in their own beds or ever go outside without a parent?
Last edited by springfieldva; 07-20-2012 at 06:15 AM..
Yes I would let them walk alone. You cannot protect them from everything.
For what it's worth, I was raped when I was 25, walking down the street going to work. I still walk down the street. You can be vigilant, you can be careful, you cannot protect yourself- or your kids- from everything.
Yes, I would let a 10 or 11 yo walk down the street by him or herself. Seriously, OP, I think you need to get a grip. There was just a mass shooting at a movie theater in CO - are you never going to see a movie again? There are risks involved in pretty much any aspect of daily life - you assess the risk, you assess the likelihood of "bad things" occurring, take measures to counteract or prepare and then you live your life. Or you hide under your bed. Be careful- do you know how sturdy the supports are on the bed frame? It might fall on you.
Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 07-20-2012 at 05:54 AM..
Depends on the kid. If they are going to go around the corner or something to a friend's house, it depends if they are mature enough to handle it. The first time they went 'alone' I'd probably tail them :P
At some point, like it or not, they will be walking, driving, biking all over the place without you. They'll have part time jobs, they'll be going on dates and shopping at the mall and going to the movies, even walking around amusement parks with their friends. Will they know how to handle themselves?
It's probably a good idea to teach them how to handle a little bit of freedom now rather than free them all at once later. KWIM?
Depends on the kid. If they are going to go around the corner or something to a friend's house, it depends if they are mature enough to handle it. The first time they went 'alone' I'd probably tail them :P
This is the bottom line. Some kids are more mature at certain ages than others. Let's face it, many just aren't aware of their surroundings, and most don't have the strength to fight off an attacker. I say enroll Junior in karate or something similar where they at least have a fighting chance. Teach them to go for the most vulnerable parts of the attacker; eyes, throat, crotch, whatever.
These days, anything less seems like putting them out there as BAIT.
For every U.S. who walks down the street and is kidnapped there are millions of kids who walk down a street without incident.
There are about 100 stranger abductions in the U.S. each year, according to FBI statistics. That number hasn't changed much in the past several decades.
I walked/biked to school by myself when I was 9.
No attempted abductions of me or any of my classmates.
We also spent our free time playing in the cul de sac our house was on or deep into the green belt that surrounded our community. 1980s.
I see kids riding their bikes or walking in my neighborhood all the time. We have a high school (9th and 10th grade) and an elementary school in our neighborhood.
For every U.S. who walks down the street and is kidnapped there are millions of kids who walk down a street without incident.
There are about 100 stranger abductions in the U.S. each year, according to FBI statistics. That number hasn't changed much in the past several decades.
Yes, this. The reason stories of abductions are so highly publicized is not that they occur so much more frequently "these days," but exactly because they are rare. The media also thrives on negative, fear-mongering stories. I doubt anyone would tune in to the 5:00 news to hear reports of "Susie played outside unsupervised with her 10 year old friends today without incident."
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