Mompetition: how frequent is this phenomenon in your area/life? (weight, four year old)
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OK. Was the average grandma putting her kids in n+3 extra-curricular activities, pushing letters, even reading, on her 3 yo-s? And my goodness, hundreds of other examples could follow!
The average mother does just that today. Yes, it's a lot more competitive than grandma ever dreamed of, and yes - mompetition is also much more intense. In grandma's time, it may have been the occasional, rare alpha-woman bragging about her kid.
Now - everyone is more or less trapped in this competition and many women are also quite vocal about it. Some are more subtle than others.
The comparison with grandma's times is ridiculous because the social change is visible with the naked eye. You don't need a study to confirm that for you!
Everyone is not "more or less trapped" in this competition. The "average" grandmother years ago probably didn't do this but neither does the "average" mother today. Just because *some* mothers choose to do this doesn't meant that it's rampant among *most* mothers. It's not.
OK. Was the average grandma putting her kids in n+3 extra-curricular activities, pushing letters, even reading, on her 3 yo-s? And my goodness, hundreds of other examples could follow!
The average mother does just that today. Yes, it's a lot more competitive than grandma ever dreamed of, and yes - mompetition is also much more intense. In grandma's time, it may have been the occasional, rare alpha-woman bragging about her kid.
Now - everyone is more or less trapped in this competition and many women are also quite vocal about it. Some are more subtle than others.
The comparison with grandma's times is ridiculous because the social change is visible with the naked eye. You don't need a study to confirm that for you!
Meh. I'm not doing those things. So your use of the word "everyone" is fatally flawed.
Everyone is not "more or less trapped" in this competition. The "average" grandmother years ago probably didn't do this but neither does the "average" mother today. Just because *some* mothers choose to do this doesn't meant that it's rampant among *most* mothers. It's not.
... it also doesn't mean that parents do all those things in order to compete or brag. Maybe they just want a well rounded kid. Maybe they want their young kids to try different things so they can narrow it down later. Maybe they are into sports or music and want their kids to be too. I don't make the connection that all parents who put their kids in multiple activities have bragging in mind.
OK. Was the average grandma putting her kids in n+3 extra-curricular activities, pushing letters, even reading, on her 3 yo-s? And my goodness, hundreds of other examples could follow!
The average mother does just that today. Yes, it's a lot more competitive than grandma ever dreamed of, and yes - mompetition is also much more intense. In grandma's time, it may have been the occasional, rare alpha-woman bragging about her kid.
Now - everyone is more or less trapped in this competition and many women are also quite vocal about it. Some are more subtle than others.
The comparison with grandma's times is ridiculous because the social change is visible with the naked eye. You don't need a study to confirm that for you!
No, the average mother does NOT do that today. In NYC, perhaps and in a few other places. Here in Texas, in my large suburban town, not much.
Most of the kids are out playing after school (at least in elementary school). Some kids have more activities than others, but most of the parents around here have their kids in one activity per season. For those with larger families that may still involve some running around. Homework does pick up in middle school here, but it's still not necessarily onerous until high school.
As for bragging about the kids again, you won't see much of that here at all.
You are placing everyone into the same bucket and seriously that just is not the case. If you go into the rural areas, you will find things quite different. If you get out of the northeast, you will also find things quite different. In NYC, the competition to get INTO the good preschools is insane. In Chicago, it's not like that at all. In the suburbs in the midwest, while preschools have waiting lists, there are no insane interview processes like there are in the northeast. Admittedly, the curriculum has been pushed down into preschools nowadays, but there are still many play based preschools to choose from if you don't want that kind of thing.
... it also doesn't mean that parents do all those things in order to compete or brag. Maybe they just want a well rounded kid. Maybe they want their young kids to try different things so they can narrow it down later. Maybe they are into sports or music and want their kids to be too. I don't make the connection that all parents who put their kids in multiple activities have bragging in mind.
Good point....we can only know our own reasons for doing things....how others may interpret them is something different entirely. Which goes back to earlier in this thread....we overlook our own actions and how they could be considered "mompetition" by others because we know why we choose things. We may not see it as such..our own case is always "different" and justified
Now - everyone is more or less trapped in this competition and many women are also quite vocal about it.
Some people thrive on competition.
Let's face it. America is a competitive nation. We always have been. You were raised in a nation that wasn't competitive. So it changed. It could easily have disappeared. Or been swallowed up by a stronger nation. (Oops. That happened, didn't it?)
Change. Ignore. Complain. Compete. The choice is your's. We all do what we think is best. Judging other mothers for what they choose is, I think, a huge waste of time. Interesting discussion, but you are not going to change the basic nature of Americans.
We get to wink at the moon because we are competitive.
Ah, but therein lies the problem. Those who share one opinion obviously have their eyes open, except those who share the opposing opinion also obviously have their eyes open. Opinion versus opinion. No one can accurately claim to be supported. I have no problem with lack of evidence, just with people pretending there are incontestable mass phenomena with large implications that should be recognized by all when it is a set of opinions and attributions. Conjecture is fine, but call it what it is.
Nope. You can just look at behavior. It will not be direct "proof" like an honest self-report, but it will be as good as you can get with the scientific deduction.
Do you need a study to tell you that virtually every child from the middle-class strata participates in at least 2 organized, extra-curriculars? That moms are a ton more involved in micro-managing their children's lives and "keeping up with the Jonses" than they were in grandma's time? Really?
For this...there is ton of evidence, including the empirical kind that you love so much. If you really need to see it on paper, you're going to have to find it yourself because I am not going to waste my time looking for statistics that show you what % of middle class children are in such activities, driven around, celebrated, showered with gifts, etc.
Would it be so hard to extrapolate that such behavior is a result of, or results in, a whole lot more "mompetition" than grandma ever saw?
Better yet, use your eyes. I am not going to waste any more of my time showing you the moon only for you to stare blankly at the sky and ask me "where...where is it"?
Nope. You can just look at behavior. It will not be direct "proof" like an honest self-report, but it will be as good as you can get with the scientific deduction.
Do you need a study to tell you that virtually every child from the middle-class strata participates in at least 2 organized, extra-curriculars? That moms are a ton more involved in micro-managing their children's lives and "keeping up with the Jonses" than they were in grandma's time? Really?
For this...there is ton of evidence, including the empirical kind that you love so much. If you really need to see it on paper, you're going to have to find it yourself because I am not going to waste my time looking for statistics that show you what % of middle class children are in such activities, driven around, celebrated, showered with gifts, etc.
Would it be so hard to extrapolate that such behavior is a result of, or results in, a whole lot more "mompetition" than grandma ever saw?
Better yet, use your eyes. I am not going to waste any more of my time showing you the moon only for you to stare blankly at the sky and ask me "where...where is it"?
But you keep saying this whole thread is only about those who BRAG about their kids, not those who want their kids to compete (like you). Not every parent with kids in lots of activities goes around bragging about how good they are.
Nope. You can just look at behavior. It will not be direct "proof" like an honest self-report, but it will be as good as you can get with the scientific deduction.
Do you need a study to tell you that virtually every child from the middle-class strata participates in at least 2 organized, extra-curriculars? That moms are a ton more involved in micro-managing their children's lives and "keeping up with the Jonses" than they were in grandma's time? Really?
For this...there is ton of evidence, including the empirical kind that you love so much. If you really need to see it on paper, you're going to have to find it yourself because I am not going to waste my time looking for statistics that show you what % of middle class children are in such activities, driven around, celebrated, showered with gifts, etc.
Would it be so hard to extrapolate that such behavior is a result of, or results in, a whole lot more "mompetition" than grandma ever saw?
Better yet, use your eyes. I am not going to waste any more of my time showing you the moon only for you to stare blankly at the sky and ask me "where...where is it"?
As I said, I think you are extrapolating from the northeast part of the US to all areas of the nation and it is seriously not true everywhere.
Let's face it. America is a competitive nation. We always have been. You were raised in a nation that wasn't competitive. So it changed. It could easily have disappeared or been swallowed up by a stronger nation. (Which it obviously was at one time.)
Change. Ignore. Complain. Compete. The choice is your's. We all do what we think is best. Judging other mothers for what they choose is, I think, a huge waste of time. Interesting discussion, but let's face it, you are not going to change the basic nature of Americans.
We get to wink at the moon because we are competitive.
Waoooow!!! 180 degrees turn! Abrupt change of direction, brace yourselves!
All these pages of denial...only for us to suddenly have a late-night "coming-out" party!!
And I thought I was the competitive one and mompetition was just in my mompetitive head.
ROFL....
Looks like now it's just about "being an American". Reminder: the biggest mompetitor I know comes from my supposedly non-mompetitive country. So no.
I say it's more about being a Global Citizen, not an American.
It is prevalent among Americans, immigrants to America...as well as everyone else who wants to live just like in America; which would sort of cover everyone.
Night, night!
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