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I got spanked as a kid. Bare handed when I was younger a belt when I was older. Spanking as a form of punishment stopped when I was 8 or so. I probably got spanked once a year or so. I don't recall what I got spanked for, but likely for lying about something.
As I got older, the punishment was no stereo, tv or Nintendo. Or being grounded. My mom thought time out was stupid, and I agreed with her. For me grounding was the worse. Losing electronics privileges had little impact as I was an avid reader and just reread my fave books until I got my gadgets back.
Visiting kids were warned with the paddle to behave. Only one visitor was ever spanked. This was a really bad male cousin. He slapped his mom on the face and my parents promptly paddled him.
I turned out just fine. I also have never been in a physical fight and do not use force for anything. Other than playing mercy.
Time outs are not the only forming discipline besides hitting and they have never been recommended for anyone other than the preschool set.
BTW, if a parent whose home my child was visiting paddled them, for any reason I would have called the police and pressed assault charges. BTW, my non-white children are happy, healthy, responsible and productive members of society.
Why is ok to hit a child when it would not be ok to hit another adult? Is it fine if your husband or boyfriend gives you a "lil pop" if he doesn't like what you are doing? What about your boss or co-worker? Or the person in the grocery store who you accidentally hit with your cart? Children aren't less than human and they need to be treated with the same respect as everyone else.
I'm all for people being able to raise their kids how they want without others teling them how to do it however I would rather people be overly cautious when it comes to possible abuse than stay silent.
Also, its one thing to get a smack in the butt, its another to slap a kid across the face, in my opinion thats uncalled for and crossing the line. How can you slap your kid across the face and then get mad at them down the road for hitting a kid at school?
I recently saw a women dragging her maybe 3 or 4 year old daughter out of the car, totally verbally abusing her way overboard and using inappropriate language, calling the kid worthless and stuff, yanked her out of the car by her arm to the point I wondered if she might pop it out of the socket and was smacking her kid like a grown adult.
Discipline, especially phsyical discipline shouldn't be done when your angry, if it is thats not doing it to teach a lesson its doing it to get your frustration out, get a punching bag if you wanna get some frustations out dont use your kid. Physical discpline if done should be done when you are calmed down.
I have no problem challenging parents men or women to come hit me if they wann hit someone, and in the scenario above I let this women know I have no problem hitting a women. She turned her anger on me instead of the kid lol.
Anyhow, at the very least I think maybe its the check and balance a parent needs to ask themself in their head is this appropriate?
Its one thing to smack your kid on the butt when they walk into the street to teach them its dangerous, its another thing to hit your kid in teh face or hit them in an aggrissive or angry way
I have no problem challenging parents men or women to come hit me if they wann hit someone, and in the scenario above I let this women know I have no problem hitting a women. She turned her anger on me instead of the kid lol.
The problem with handling this the way you did is that the child will probably be abused worse when they get home.
There are ways to intervene, but making the parent angry at you is not one of them.
1. Show empathy for the adult (not easy, but more helpful than making her angry). "Kids can be really challenging at this age."
2. Share something from your own experience if you can. "I remember when I was 4 and really wanted a toy and had an awful tantrum. I really didn't understand why I couldn't have the toy." Obviously, you have to make the experience closer to the reality of what was happening.
3. Empathize with the child. "It must be scary when your mom gets so mad at you, but she wants the best for you." (Even if you don't believe that, it can defuse the mom's anger).
4. Offer a suggestion of something you might do. "I find that my child calms down if I take him out of the situation. Sometimes while we can't give him what he wants, we can give him something he likes later if he does behave."
Why is ok to hit a child when it would not be ok to hit another adult? Is it fine if your husband or boyfriend gives you a "lil pop" if he doesn't like what you are doing? What about your boss or co-worker? Or the person in the grocery store who you accidentally hit with your cart? Children aren't less than human and they need to be treated with the same respect as everyone else.
It's also not ok to give another adult a time out. Or take away their phone or computer. Or make them eat their vegetables or take a bath or go to bed at 8 o'clock.
So the only sensible answer to "why is it ok to spank your child but not another adult?" goes approximately like this:
Because it is your child. You do not stand in the same relation to your child that you stand to any other adult. That is a full and complete answer that does not require elaboration or supplementation of any kind.
It's also not ok to give another adult a time out. Or take away their phone or computer. Or make them eat their vegetables or take a bath or go to bed at 8 o'clock.
So the only sensible answer to "why is it ok to spank your child but not another adult?" goes approximately like this:
Because it is your child. You do not stand in the same relation to your child that you stand to any other adult. That is a full and complete answer that does not require elaboration or supplementation of any kind.
The difference is, when you tell another adult to eat their vegetables, or go to bed, it is not a crime. But hitting another adult is assault.
It's also not ok to give another adult a time out. Or take away their phone or computer. Or make them eat their vegetables or take a bath or go to bed at 8 o'clock.
So the only sensible answer to "why is it ok to spank your child but not another adult?" goes approximately like this:
Because it is your child. You do not stand in the same relation to your child that you stand to any other adult. That is a full and complete answer that does not require elaboration or supplementation of any kind.
Adults get time outs all the time...they are suspended from jobs at the mildest levels....placed in jail or house arrest at higher levels. There is no need to hit another human being....child or adult...family member or not.
You should be ashamed of wanting the overburdened court system to handle parenting philosophies, and being "glad" that a stressed out mother is being shamed and villified, when there are already a plethora of legitimate criminals out there.
And that isn't even touching the blatantly incorrect superlatives you throw around.
No, she's not ashamed. This type of individuals fancy themselves as Saviors of little innocent children and would not hesitate to destroy an already overwhelmed parent based on their sick delusions of grandeur, self-purity and self-righteousness.
This type of adults who can't help minding their own business due to ideological infestations of their mushed brain should be made offers they can't refuse behind closed doors.
Nothing else would stop them as the system rewards this type of narcissism today.
They are sick and sickening to the bone.
I turned out just fine. I also have never been in a physical fight and do not use force for anything. Other than playing mercy.
The "I turned out just fine" argument doesn't work with the ideologically sick mind. They are convinced you didn't. It doesn't take research or any level of brain surgery to know that spanking, even vigorous discipline, does not damage a child and does not make for a future abuser, criminal, sociopath or whatever.
Had this been so, all past societies would have been societies of criminals, abusers and sociopaths. War of all against all. They weren't, of course, but no amount of empirical evidence will quench the sick mind's thirst for self-righteousness.
You can't reason with the brainwashed, with those whose brain is infested by ideology. It is just as simple as that. You simply must be careful to avoid them and to understand to what extent the legal system will allow them to bully other parents.
These are not people who can be content to make choices for themselves and their own children. They get off on their Savior complex and feel a deep need to create enemies out of parents who choose to parent the old-fashioned, tried-and-true way. They hate the type of society that results out of old-fashioned parenting. They enjoy tremendously to hit right at the core of the parent-child relationship, poisoning children's mind with the idea that they just have "bad parents". They will strike whenever they can because these type of creatures are tremendously hateful and narcissistic.
Step one: be aware there are many people like this today.
Step two: stay away from them, they are inherently vile.
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