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My 29 y.o. daughter has never lived in the house or state her parents and sister now live in yet she cheerfully says "Going Home for the Holidays" Home to most of us is where our family is. I hope you don't say anything to them about their use of the word.
I am very grateful to have 2 loving parents who are still willing to allow me to call their house "home". I know a few people who do not have that luxury. I have not lived in that house for about 15 years now, but it is still "home" to me.
I can only hope that I create the same kind of life for my daughter so that she will still call our house "home" long after she has her own home.
I've lived in my own apartment for a little more than a year now, yet whenever I go to see my parents, they're always like "it's so nice to have you home/when are you coming home next/yes, but this is your home etc etc" and honestly, it's grating as hell. I work hard to pay my own rent and utilities and to have them keep referring to their house, where I don't live, kinda gets to me because it seems like they don't respect that I worked, saved, planned and got my own place (I'm 22 and a college graduate, isn't this what you're supposed to do at this stage?)
Maybe I'm overreacting. I just had to vent and wondered if other parents are like this.
I think you're overreacting.
What's worse is when you're moved out and then they sell your childhood home -- that's when you really feel like you can never go home again. That's what really feels weird.
In many ways "home" is always the childhood home, the home you grew up in.
I've lived in my own apartment for a little more than a year now, yet whenever I go to see my parents, they're always like "it's so nice to have you home/when are you coming home next/yes, but this is your home etc etc" and honestly, it's grating as hell. I work hard to pay my own rent and utilities and to have them keep referring to their house, where I don't live, kinda gets to me because it seems like they don't respect that I worked, saved, planned and got my own place (I'm 22 and a college graduate, isn't this what you're supposed to do at this stage?)
Maybe I'm overreacting. I just had to vent and wondered if other parents are like this.
You just don't understand what it's like to a parent. You can't remember most of the time you spent with them when you were little. There's a reason why we cry when they go to Kindergarten and even more when they go away to college. Someday maybe you'll understand. Give your parents a break. It's not about your independence or about respect, it's because they love you and miss living with you and they don't want to let go of your whole childhood just yet.
I've lived in my own apartment for a little more than a year now, yet whenever I go to see my parents, they're always like "it's so nice to have you home/when are you coming home next/yes, but this is your home etc etc" and honestly, it's grating as hell. I work hard to pay my own rent and utilities and to have them keep referring to their house, where I don't live, kinda gets to me because it seems like they don't respect that I worked, saved, planned and got my own place (I'm 22 and a college graduate, isn't this what you're supposed to do at this stage?)
Maybe I'm overreacting. I just had to vent and wondered if other parents are like this.
Amazingly enough even though you age chronologically, grow and mature you never leave "home" in your parents eyes if you are lucky and it has nothing to do with not respecting the fact that you work hard and have achieved so much out on your own. My Mother still asks me when I'm coming "home" for a visit and I haven't lived in her home for 37 years now.
you have two homes at the moment. The one you live in, and pay rent on, and maintain. And the one that you have waiting for you with your family, for visits, or potentially - if you need it because of some sort of crisis.
Its no big deal. Your parents call it home because it is home - to them, and previously to you.
Would it be better if your parents said, "when are you coming back to 2415 Partridge Lane to visit?"
No, that's a bit strange.
For me - my parents home was always a home - one that I was lucky to know existed for me should I require it. As far as when did I start thinking of my then-current place of residence as another "home"?? Probably when I graduated and the apartment I then attained was not likely to change within the next 6 months. Very hard to become attached to temporary college dwellings.
But even then I had my every day home, where I worked/paid rent -- and my family home, where mom and dad waited for me.
Another vote for "yes, you are overreacting." I think it speaks well of how they raised you and how well you are doing that their use of the term "home" to refer to your childhood home, such a tiny thing, is what is upsetting you at this point in your life. Be grateful for that.
Home is where the heart is, which ostensibly would be where your family gathers.
To me, home didn't really change from my parents (or my wifes parents) houses until we were established and had kids. The transition really started when my wife and I began hosting all of the holidays. We have the youngest kids and the house best equipped for entertaining large groups and both sets of parents "passed the baton" of "home" onto us. In fact both sets of parents are now considering selling their houses to move closer to our area because this is where they feel "home" is now.
As long as your parents house is still where the holidays are and where the family gathers, that's where home is. One day that will change, you will notice the change and it will be part of your "growing up". When your dad comes over to your house on Thanksgiving and insists you sit at the head of the table and carve the turkey, you'll know. Until then just know that they are most likely incredibly proud of your accmplishments and you should be greatful that you have parents that still make their house a home.
My daughter who lives three time zones away, told us on Sunday that she and her husband are coming home for Christmas.
Home is where family is.
She is fortunate to have three homes: hers with her husband, her family home, her husband's family home.
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