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Usually if there are not any custody papers on the books, there is nothing to stop you from doing what you want to do. There is no legal action you should need to take in order for you to move.
To be sure, check with the MA state laws regarding children without custody agreements.
Just move and if he wants to make a stink about it, he will have to make his way to TX to file and start the process.
Considering his mentality and lifestyle, I highly doubt he will make trouble, it would be too much effort and money, money he apparently does not have.
If he does make it to TX, I'm pretty sure they are a state that favors the mother over the father even if the father is sober.
Again, the very best advice is to speak with a local family law attorney. There may be residency requirements (i.e. your child would have to live a certain length of time in another state to make that the home state for custody order purposes as opposed to MA.)
Texas has a free legal advice line for issues like this, their number is (866) 292-4636 and they answer between 1pm and 7 pm M-F. They will probably be able to tell you if it is legal for you to just stay here with your son. If so, since you're already here, it would be better for you and your son to stay here. Any custody or visitation proceedings would involve the child's father having to come to TX and that would probably be more effort than he would be willing to make. If you get tied up in legal issues in MA, you may have to travel back there to go to court a few times.
In some states you have to be a resident for 6 month- 1 year to start custody proceedings. So If you move to another state and he files in the state you live in now. That state will hear the case and you will have to travel back to that state for court. If you don't think he will file anything within 6 months, I would move but if you think he will take action, I would consult a attorney fast because not only will you have to travels back to the state for numerous court and mediation dates, depending on the judge he could make you move back based on the facts of your case or believe you are attempting to avoid jurisdiction.
I went through this issue of moving out of state and having to go by the courts. It was a long drawn out process that cost a lot of time and money. I was married though. My attorney advised me not to move because he knew my ex will go to court and I had a chance of being order back.
Eventually after 2 years of mediation and court the judge allowed me to move but I would only advise you to go to court as a last option. It wears on your sanity big time.
Texas has a free legal advice line for issues like this, their number is (866) 292-4636 and they answer between 1pm and 7 pm M-F. They will probably be able to tell you if it is legal for you to just stay here with your son. If so, since you're already here, it would be better for you and your son to stay here. Any custody or visitation proceedings would involve the child's father having to come to TX and that would probably be more effort than he would be willing to make. If you get tied up in legal issues in MA, you may have to travel back there to go to court a few times.
Yes -- I think because she's a single mother, the father has no rights until paternity is established which means she has every right to relocate as she pleases, of course all that could depend on state laws. I would think at this point the father has no rights over the child until he establishes paternity -- and with that would come child support requirements so he might just let it go. Also if the child had to reside in the state 6 months, it seems that time may not have been met and maybe MA doesn't have any jurisdiction in this case if the child is now a resident of another state.
A lawyer of course should be consulted. Kind of interesting what a lawyer would have to say - if the child born in WI, moved temporarily to MA - less than 6 months, now moved with sole legal parent to TX, exactly what rights would the unwed father have?
If there is no custody agreement in place, no CHILD support order in place and you do not want or need support?
You can and legally move away with your son and not be slapped with crossing state line abduction charges, a PARENT CANNOT ABDUCT their own child if there is no CUSTODY order in place.
THERE IS no need to contact a attorney just yet, I would just be cool and collected and wait for your mom to get everything in place and leave when possible ASAP.
Do not hound him to see the child, feed the child, anything.
WHY?
If it were to go to court? And you stated what you did here? The judge would question your reasoning as to why you would leave your precious cargo with a known alcoholic to feed, him, care for him and even fought him to keep him longer than the 10 hours he has given….
On the other hand, if you left asap, got settled in and then chose to file for SOLE physical custody and SOLE legal custody?
Would be a lot easier and would make things legal.
1. The parent who files first always has precedence as to where the case will be evaluated
2. It can then be stated that you left after it was determined that your ex is an alcoholic, and document any dates you can ( Start thinking up a timeline) It does not have to pertain to the actual “Day†per se, it could be the month and year, I.E. 10/2012..
3. You can state how often your ex saw his child ( Hours per month)
4. The great thing about it is? You having no job would mean you will qualify for services under the county you reside.
Every state and county has a Law Facilitator, and these charges are free for the income eligible and so are filing the documents to the court as well as getting him served.
5. IT WILL be the responsibility of your ex b/f to drive to where you are and attend court, if he misses court after a certain amount of times and you resubmitting the docs? You will be awarded full custody by default.
I am not going to question your judgment since I think we tend to believe in what our SO state to us about change and better living conditions, better relationship statuses and so forth.
I am sure if if life ran my way? There would be “warning labels on peopleâ€
Make your move fast, quiet and amicable..stealth like…
Best of luck
Yes -- I think because she's a single mother, the father has no rights until paternity is established which means she has every right to relocate as she pleases, of course all that could depend on state laws. I would think at this point the father has no rights over the child until he establishes paternity -- and with that would come child support requirements so he might just let it go. Also if the child had to reside in the state 6 months, it seems that time may not have been met and maybe MA doesn't have any jurisdiction in this case if the child is now a resident of another state.
A lawyer of course should be consulted. Kind of interesting what a lawyer would have to say - if the child born in WI, moved temporarily to MA - less than 6 months, now moved with sole legal parent to TX, exactly what rights would the unwed father have?
Actually a paternity test is often waived an overlooked if the FATHER in question has been named as the father on the Birth Certificate.
But you are correct, none of this stands if there is no actual CUSTODY order to begin with...
And yes Lady was right, in order to file custody orders one would have to reside in the county for at least 6 months this is standard.
The actual moves have nothing to do with the case being filed. THE COUNTY in which one files legal docs has to prove residency for at least 6 months..
Which is why being discreet, quiet and amicable right before the move is bewst this way it gives the parent a head start to begin residency.
I.E. For the mother of the OP. to establish a bill in her daughters name asap.
I.E. They get to their destination on 10/24, call the utilities company and establish the electricity bil under her name to start on 10/25
Have the OP go to the DMV and change her residence asap.
Proving residency can be done in several ways...
Talking to a lawyer is the only real advice that anyone can give. The situation is rather complicated and interstate custody issues are very complex.
What I will say is that IF you have the ability to move BEFORE either of you begins to establish formal court custody/support proceedings, you will have the benefit of dictating most of the process based on the laws of the state that you take residence in. He would be virtually powerless to go after you unless he wanted to follow you to Texas which sounds like something he most likely wouldn't do. Massachusetts case law shows that an unwed mother is technically a childs "only parent" in the eyes of the law until formal paternity and orders are established by the court. As of right now, in the eyes of Massachusetts you are the childs only parent and are free to move wherever you please. This is the applicable case precedent from Massachusetts:
Once you begin legal proceedings it falls under the Uniform Child Custody and Jurisdiction Act. This Act gives priority to the "home state" where the proceedings began and original orders were issued. This means that once you begin proceedings in Massachusetts those courts will have superiority over others in determining custody issues. If you were to move after beginning proceedings the court could order you/the child back to Massachusetts and you could not move without proving it was in the childs best interests to the courts of Massachusetts. This Act is recognized as law in all 50 states and US territories, so any orders established in Massachusetts would be enforced by the Texas legal system.
Take the above advice with a grain of salt, I'm not an attorney and I don't have all the facts. My personal opinion is, if there are no existing or pending court orders and you have the chance to move, do it now.
The last thing that I will say is that being a father doesn't mean you had sex with the childs mother. It means growing up and taking responsbility for the care and well being of your child. This "man" that you are with has had over a year to make progress on becoming a father and he has not done it. If movies, alcohol and video games are more important to him then caring for his child, you don't owe him anything. A child is better off having no father and living in a safe and caring environment with their mother and grandmother then they are having a "father" like this guy.
I second this.
Also wanted to say that if the ex's father is threatening your family and you are afraid of him, don't hesitate to get a restraining order. If he is living with your ex, that may create difficulties for your ex to have your son at his home, but they have to understand that threats are not OK and you will not be bullied.
On the other hand, if you left asap, got settled in and then chose to file for SOLE physical custody and SOLE legal custody?
If you are settled and there is no issue, no need to poke the bear....
However, if you do find yourself needing to make a custody agreement. Go for sole physical custody and 50/50 legal custody. Never ever give up on the other parents responsibility for the child.
Sure, right now you want nothing to do with the guy, totally understandable. However three years from now he may clean up his act and be in a good job and making good money. He needs to be just as much legally responsible for the child as you do. Sole physical custody means the child resides with you, he cannot take the child and if he does it would be an abduction. Legal custody mainly makes him financially responsible for the child. This is not the same as child support. Say you do not have any support agreement but the child ends up having an expensive accident, with legal custody, you can make him pay for half of the emergency room bill.
There are other things that go along with legal custody, but it's not anything that would put the child into the fathers home. For that, he would have to file a motion to change the custody agreement.
1. See a lawyer tomorrow. Friday. This is the best advice. The rest below is my unlegal opinion.
2. Set up residency in Texas tomorrow.
3. There is no divorce, no marriage, no court decrees if I understood your statement.
4. If he wants to pursue this, then he might have to do so in a Texas court. He won't like that. He may have to spend the cash to prove paternity.
5. Some will disagree with this, but I'm going on personal experiences in my own family. A drunk is a drunk is a drunk. A few recover and control it. Many, many do not.
6. Get away from him. Get your child away from him. For you, get more education and set up a new life in Texas.
7. Thank the Lord for your mother.
Good luck.
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