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I am guessing that some parents that don't spank have tempers that they know for a fact they cannot control. I can understand those that have in the past settled their disputes by hitting someone and I know a lot of adults do that with other adults. If you are a person who loses your temper and becomes ANGRY with your child, you need more than alternatives to spanking, you need counseling to help with you with anger management. I also know that adults that were BEATEN as a child are more likely to settle all their anger issues by hitting someone. Parents that see spanking as DISCIPLINE spank responsibly and those that see it as a RELEASE for THEIR anger because the child did not please them abuse their children. And, I believe that verbal and emotional abuse, cutting the kids to shreds with their tongue, does much more harm than those who spank butts! Funny that it seems that spanking and hitting are so confusing for some parents. I know of parents who were afraid to spank because they were afraid they would go TOO FAR, this is ANGER, not discipline.
Maybe. Good for them for recognizing that they might take their emotions too far. I highly doubt you will find a single parent who hasn't at some point lost their temper or gotten angry with their kids. That's a pretty high standard to hold people to, there- they can never, ever lose their temper? I would think we would all be in anger management then. I agree with you that spanking in anger is wrong. I disagree with you that spanking when calm is right.
I said it earlier- I was spanked as a child. I was not abused. My parents were not awful. They didn't spank me angrily and in a rage. They love me, and I always knew that. But it doesn't make their methods right.
I definitely agree that verbal and emotional abuse is also horrible. Taking a stand against spanking is not taking a stand for yelling.
I'm not afraid to spank. I choose not to spank because I believe it is wrong. I am not confused between spanking and hitting. Quite the opposite, I think my feelings on them are quite logical and clear. No confusion here.
You think that spanking and time out are strange..My parents both left home when they were 14 and 15 because of war and revolution. They really did not know about parenting...They never had a chance to observe a role model. Both of them did get some old fashioned religious training. The ideas were out of 1800s Russian Christian Orthodoxy...If my parent thought that my brother and I were "bad" - They would send us up to our loft bed room...it had very hard hardwood floors..
We were told to kneel in a prayer position and told to face the wall...and stay there and not move...We were very young and I can barely remember it. I guess we were 4 and 5 years old.
We would have to maintain the position for a fairly long time...our knees would hurt..and we endured...kind of a torture I suppose...or some sort of archaic time out thing.
When I think back I can not really remember what the offense was to warrant this punishment...I believe it happened only a couple of times..My parents were not serious about this - nor do I remember them being stern...I actually believe they did this to us for entertainment...Just like if they were bored on a winter night- They would drink some vodka and encourage my brother and I to wrestle in front of the fire...
It got brutal...finally we figured out that our parents were just being barbaric tribal jerks....so we rebelled and refused to entertain them...It was as if it was the 1600s and they were some bored barbarians - who had kids in part to be amused...as for spanking- They never hit us...They really did not take child rearing that seriously...Most of the summers we ran barefoot in the woods and swamps like little animals- we had absolutely no adult supervision what so ever....It was great...no bubble wrapping and no nanny state.
I had a wonderful childhood in a glorious rural setting of woods-lakes-swamps and my mothers business that had a candy section...heaven.
To get an animal to submit to carrying you or a load of goods...You have to "break" the animal- break it's spirit to a degree so it submits..
Sorry, but that's a lot of bunk.
A person who understands and is good with animals doesn't need to do that. I've seen horses trained - for plowing and riding - with what is now called the Horse Whisperer method. My father (who didn't believe kids should be spanked, BTW) learned it from his grandfather. It's been around for a very long time.
You think that spanking and time out are strange..My parents both left home when they were 14 and 15 because of war and revolution. They really did not know about parenting...They never had a chance to observe a role model. Both of them did get some old fashioned religious training. The ideas were out of 1800s Russian Christian Orthodoxy...If my parent thought that my brother and I were "bad" - They would send us up to our loft bed room...it had very hard hardwood floors..
We were told to kneel in a prayer position and told to face the wall...and stay there and not move...We were very young and I can barely remember it. I guess we were 4 and 5 years old.
We would have to maintain the position for a fairly long time...our knees would hurt..and we endured...kind of a torture I suppose...or some sort of archaic time out thing.
When I think back I can not really remember what the offense was to warrant this punishment...I believe it happened only a couple of times..My parents were not serious about this - nor do I remember them being stern...I actually believe they did this to us for entertainment...Just like if they were bored on a winter night- They would drink some vodka and encourage my brother and I to wrestle in front of the fire...
It got brutal...finally we figured out that our parents were just being barbaric tribal jerks....so we rebelled and refused to entertain them...It was as if it was the 1600s and they were some bored barbarians - who had kids in part to be amused...as for spanking- They never hit us...They really did not take child rearing that seriously...Most of the summers we ran barefoot in the woods and swamps like little animals- we had absolutely no adult supervision what so ever....It was great...no bubble wrapping and no nanny state.
I had a wonderful childhood in a glorious rural setting of woods-lakes-swamps and my mothers business that had a candy section...heaven.
A person who understands and is good with animals doesn't need to do that. I've seen horses trained - for plowing and riding - with what is now called the Horse Whisperer method. My father (who didn't believe kids should be spanked, BTW) learned it from his grandfather. It's been around for a very long time.
I am aware of that method. I was not advocating the breaking of horses in a brutal manner. Yes- you have to communicate with the animal....and the child....My dad was also a horsemen - He was one of the last trained in the Russian army to use a horse and sword..believe it or not... He loved horses...I remember going to the track with him and he looked at the way an animal would prance..He looked for the spirit in the horse..He would pick winners 9 out of 10 times...
No I am not the same guy..this is the first time I have written about the experience. I guess what my dad was getting at as far as having to hold an uncomfortable position was no so much about punishment..but more about self control and endurance. I can not remember it being a cruel thing but more of a test...a self challenging method of self control as I said.
The term discipline should be view differently than punishment- Punishment does not ensure a disciplined child or an adult..discipline is about self control..spanking is about others controlling you by force..it is about submission through pain...Not a good idea - You will ruin a dog using force and pain...so why would you ruin your child by causing them pain?
For my fellow spankers, it doesn't do you any good to argue with these people. They believe they know how to raise your kids better than you. When you encounter people who think like, the conversation will go nowhere. They simply cannot accept that spanking can be an effective form of discipline. Seriously, how can you are argue with somebody who thinks they know how to discipline your child?
For my fellow spankers, it doesn't do you any good to argue with these people. They believe they know how to raise your kids better than you. When you encounter people who think like, the conversation will go nowhere. They simply cannot accept that spanking can be an effective form of discipline. Seriously, how can you are argue with somebody who thinks they know how to discipline your child?
Can you point out where anyone in this thread said that? I specifically said there are many ways to discipline a child. I also specifically said I don't think I'm a perfect parent or know it all.
People can think something is wrong and not feel superior to others. It's simply a belief, not an "I'm better than you" statement.
For my fellow spankers, it doesn't do you any good to argue with these people. They believe they know how to raise your kids better than you. When you encounter people who think like, the conversation will go nowhere. They simply cannot accept that spanking can be an effective form of discipline.
Change that word to PUNISHMENT and you will have no argument from me. My quarrel is the equating of punishment with discipline. A point that spankers cannot even SEE in their rush to make sure no one equates spanking with abuse... which is really what parents ought to be going for... failure to abuse.
Can you point out where anyone in this thread said that? I specifically said there are many ways to discipline a child. I also specifically said I don't think I'm a perfect parent or know it all.
People can think something is wrong and not feel superior to others. It's simply a belief, not an "I'm better than you" statement.
I am. Just kidding. It was too easy.
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Just kidding. It was too easy.
