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My god, some parents just infuriate me so much, I just had to share today's incident.
So me and DS, almost 3, are at the mall in the children's play area. There's this big chunky kid there who looks at least 5 or 6, a bit old for the toddler-oriented place, but whatever. DS plays with this little plane thingy they have on the wall there. Then leaves. That kid goes over to it and starts playing. DS sees it and wants to go back; I grab him and say his turn is up, he left, now it's the other boy's turn. We wait. Boy plays, goes away. DS runs over; kid notices and jumps back and blocks the thing with his hand just so DS can't play.
At this point I step in and politely tell the kid that he's had his turn and left, so now it's our turn. Kid ignores me. I ask him two more times if he can please let us play for a bit, no reaction. I decide to wait a little more, DS is getting more and more agitated, I'm restraining him because he keeps trying to get to the thing and the other kid's twice his size. I try to convince DS to do something else, but he gets extremely fixated on things and it's impossible to redirect him, nor do I feel it's fair to drag him away. Finally I ask the kid where his mom or dad is. He points at his mom, she's sitting there with her phone not even glancing over. I go over, with DS who's starting to cry at this point, explain the situation. She sighs, half-heartedly gets up, goes over and mumbles something barely audible to the kid about being nice and sharing. The kid mumbles something back and pretty much ignores her. She tells him to be a good boy, he shakes his head, then mom shrugs her shoulders and tells me "oh, I'm sorry". Goes back and sits down with her phone!
At this point I'm pissed off and DS is upset, so I try talking to the kid again, more firmly this time, not trying to be nice, just telling him that he needs to step away and let DS play. Try several times, try waiting for a little bit longer hoping he'll get bored and leave, but clearly the little sh*t doesn't really care about the toy, he's doing this on purpose just so DS can't play. I go over to the mom one more time - she hasn't even lifted her head up from her phone the whole time, in spite of being aware of what's going on. She waves her hand and goes "oh, it's ok, just let your son play". Um, okay, lady, do you want me to physically drag away your fat kid who's blocking the toy?? I unleash DS and let him try to pry the boy's hand off, but of course he's bigger and stronger and I don't want DS getting hurt so I grab him again.
Finally, I have an inspiration. I lean down to the kid and say "please let go right now or I'm calling the mall police, because you're not supposed to be doing this". He doesn't let go but I can see I've got his attention. So I repeat again "if you don't let go right.now. I'm calling the mall police and they're going to take you away". This seems to finally sink in, and the kid lets go, and runs over to his mommy, climbs on her lap like a two year old and buries his head on her shoulder, crying about the lady who was mean to him. By the time we left, he was still sitting there and the mom was cuddling him.
Call me horrible but it felt oddly satisfying. I'm not a confrontational person at all, but that kid and his mom seriously pissed me off. I hope his mom is as happy to cuddle him when he gets kicked out of school or fired from a job for being a bully. WTH are these parents thinking??
When I was an undergrad at college, I spent my summers as camp counselor and my winters as a ski instructor. Many of my client's children came from very affluent families and were naturally very spoiled. Many of these kids were 8, 9, 10 years old and had never been told 'no' in their lives...
I digress. I think you absolutely did the right thing.
I think you were as wrong as the other mother. Actually worse, because you got your jollies making a little kid cry. Who was the bully here again? How hard would it have been to redirect your child to something else?
Why on earth would you be proud of making a child cry? Sure the child was being a rude little jerk, but you were just as wrong as he was. Two wrongs don't make a right. Congrats on making a little kid cry i guess.
I think you were as wrong as the other mother. Actually worse, because you got your jollies making a little kid cry. Who was the bully here again? How hard would it have been to redirect your child to something else?
Actually if you knew my kid you wouldn't ask that. I tried multiple times to convince him to do something else, but he had his mind set on this thing and I didn't feel it was fair to get him to the point of a tantrum, especially since he understood and patiently waited while the other kid was having his turn.
On one hand, I'm sure it was something where one had to be there to see it... but OTOH, here we have two kids fixated on the same thing, one parent obviously given up and the other parent given into bullying the child. It is definitely difficult and frustrating when you're in a situation where parents aren't supervising the way they're supposed to... and its equally as pointless to get the staff/security involved because they just don't care. This is something you're going to continue to see and deal with as your son gets older and be mindful your son is watching your actions.
Why on earth would you be proud of making a child cry? Sure the child was being a rude little jerk, but you were just as wrong as he was. Two wrongs don't make a right. Congrats on making a little kid cry i guess.
The title of the thread was intended as tongue-in-cheek. But honestly I'm not sorry for doing it, even though I didn't actually expect him to react this way, since he was acting so tough and bossy up to that point. If you saw this kid you wouldn't expect him to be crying on his mom's lap. It was actually somewhat ironic how he went from this bully bravado to acting like a young toddler, and I'm sure it has to do with the way he was brought up with no actual discipline.
If you think it was wrong, what would you have done? Dragged your kid away in tears? I'm actually completely opposed to disciplining other people's kids and this is very out of character for me - I believe you should always approach the child's parents in cases like that. However, I wasn't expecting his mom to shrug and say "I'm sorry" and just not do ANYTHING when her son was being an obnoxious brat in a public place and causing a younger child to cry. I've never faced a parent or a kid like that before, so I was just lost on what to do. Most kids would at least respond to another adult asking them to step off, and if they don't, parents will intervene, at least all parents I've known. This mom just looked like she was off in her own little world and couldn't give a damn.
On one hand, I'm sure it was something where one had to be there to see it... but OTOH, here we have two kids fixated on the same thing, one parent obviously given up and the other parent given into bullying the child. It is definitely difficult and frustrating when you're in a situation where parents aren't supervising the way they're supposed to... and its equally as pointless to get the staff/security involved because they just don't care. This is something you're going to continue to see and deal with as your son gets older and be mindful your son is watching your actions.
Sure, but when my son was fixated on it while it was the other boy's turn I stepped in and held him back and made him wait, and explained that when you step away from the toy, it's fair game to others. And then when the other kid stepped away and it was legitimately DS's turn, I didn't think it'd be fair to force him to leave. I did try to talk him into leaving but he wouldn't budge, and like I said the only way would be to drag him out in tears. And keep in mind we're talking about a kid who's older by 2-3 years, and who didn't really care for playing with the toy but just jumped back to prevent DS from playing with it on purpose! That's not quite the same as, say, two toddlers fighting over a toy.
When I was a kid, I was way more scared about the police than I was about getting a spanking. I think it's horrible to threaten someone else's kid like that.
What would I have done? Probably removed my kid from the situation, saying, something like, "he's not going to play nice so we can't stay here". The first of many lessons about how life isn't fair.
You didn't expect a 5 or 6 year old to cry at the thought of the police being called? I'm going to guess your son is your oldest child. Kids of that age are still pretty much babies.
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