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Name two regrets you have about parenting and 2 things you have done parent wise that you are proud of...... Mine:
PROUD
1. I'm proud of the relationship that I have with my girls (my daughter and my wife). My wife and I have been together for 24 years and work through issues and have never given up on each other and I truely beleive that kids can see this and my daughter is a better person / daughter because of it
2. My daughter dances and she did her first solo (ballet) this year, seeing her on stage brought tears to my eyes (which has to be odd to see a big hulking man tearing up in an auditorium, LOL). When I see her dance her solo I swear I can see her heart sore and all our good times with her mother, me, our family seem to fill the stage for every one else to see
REGRETS:
1. Not having another child! We were so focused of raising our first and doing things with her that we just never did have another one. My daughter always adimately says she never wanted a brother or sister, but at times my wife and I feel like we still have love to give
2. My daughter does not know my Dad. He passed almost 10 years ago so she was young. My daughter has such a close relationship with her grandparents it makes me wish she knew my dad and all the fun things that he could have shown her.
I'm proud that my kids are not afraid to ask questions, not afraid to be different. My oldest takes a Jack Skellington lunch box to school when everyone else has Hanna or whatever girls like. My youngest girl wears Iron Man galoshes, every, single, day, even though the boys make fun of her.
Hmmm.... regrets...
That my father will not have any grandsons. He had two boys and was looking forward to grandsons. I make girls, apparently. And my brother appears to be in a childless marriage.
Proud:
-I have a great relationship with my 5 kids. They know (and they do) that they can come to me with any question whatsoever and expect to get an honest response from me.
-I'm also very proud that despite losing my husband to cancer I am still able to support myself and my kids financially and emtionally. It's hard to be a mom and a dad!
Regrets:
-When my husband died, I realize I took way too much "me time". I carted my kids off to various caregivers so I could recover, but didn't think about how the death affected them.
Other than that, I don't really have anything. Of course there are those days when I snap at the kids, lash out etc. but I try my best to be a good mom!
Proud:
~ I feel like at the end of the day, that I have sincerely done the best that I can and I think that will reflect in my kid's lives later on down the road.
~ I'm not afraid to admit when I don't know what I'm doing and turn to others for help and support.
Regret:
~My father passed away 18 years ago and was never able to meet my kids. I hate that.
~Even though my children are young, there are times I look back and say "Gosh, I wish I had handled that differently," or "I shouldn't have said that." So there are little regrets along the way, but again, I truly give my kids 100% everyday, but mistakes are inevitable.
~Proud~
Both of my girls are very independent. The oldest moreso than the younger, but they are both still pretty strong minded.
Both are good at anything they apply themselves to. The younger one has more "staying power" than the older one, older one tends to give up easier. Younger one is within a year of her black belt, just finishing up her first year of Tennis, Flute in the band at school for 3 years, Girl Scouts for 7 years... Older one did pretty good in Tae Kwon Do but lost interest after a couple of years. She is still in GS after 11 years though and somewhat active.
~Regrets~
I had severe post-partum depression for several years. Was just recovering from it when I had #2 and went backwards. After my oldest was close to 8 I started coming out of it. It wasted alot of our time together and damaged our relationship TERRIBLY!
Not getting my oldest treated for ADHD earlier than 3rd grade. I didn't know the symptoms and the delay in treatment has effected her the rest of her school career.
1.) My son has coping skills. This was very important to me as it caused me problems when I was a child. My parents tended to use trickery a lot when difficult things came up. Example - I had a fear of going to the Dr. A normal nervous fear but instead of letting me process it and deal with it, my mother would trick us kids. A nice saturday drive sometimes was actually a dr. appt. We would pull into the parking lot of the Dr. office and my mother would say, "you are getting a shot today." Surprise! Before I could even process it, I was whisked in and before I could even think I had people holding me down. It gave me a huge fear of Doctors, mistrust of my mother and I learned that being nervous or anxious was a horrible thing. Not good for the self esteem. Everyone needs to learn how to cope or talk themselves down. I wanted my son to process that being nervous was okay and he was able to handle it. I never had an issue at the Dr. office with him. I prepared him, was gentle and honest.
2.) He feels he can tell me things and I will listen. Recently he found out his friend smokes. It made me proud that he could come to me about this issue without being secretive or leaving me out of the loop.
Regrets
1.) I wish I would have finished college before my son was born. I had a great career until 9-11 and struggled for quite a while. This caused us to move several times and that was hard on my son moving so much.
2.) Sometimes I regret not having another child. My son is happy to be an only child but I think because he knows nothing else. I sometimes feel bad that when he is older and has to deal with my husband or I in old age, he will have no support of a sibling.
Proud:
1. I'm proud that my oldest daughter is independent and self-confident. She's got her own sense of self-worth and even though she's significantly taller than all the kids in her class, she is convinced that being tall is really cool (and won't be hunching over like I did). She's also got a good sense of style and got a really cute haircut that every single girl (minus 1) in her class has copied. She has a sense of self that still amazes me since she's only 7.
2. I'm proud that I graduated college, lived on my own and didn't get married until I was nearly 30 and started having kids later too. That gave me a great oppportunity to become someone who doesn't have any regrets about "missing my youth" and is able to really focus on my kids and the act of parenting in addition to having a great relationship with my husband.
Regrets:
1. I regret that my husband and I had some serious debt when we first had kids so I had to work full time and put my daughter in daycare from 6:30 am to 6:00 at night. Now that I am able to be a SAHM, I regret the number of hours we put her in daycare just because we were dumb with credit cards.
2. I regret that I haven't fostered a better relationship with my in-laws. I really dislike them but now understand that there were a lot of instances where I should have bitten my tongue in order to allow my daughters to have a relationship with their numerous (10 in all) cousins. They don't live that far from us and are always doing "family reunions" that we aren't a part of and I wish my daughters could have a relationship with their cousins like I did when I was younger. Too much water under the bridge for that to happen or for a simple "I'm sorry" to repair a relationship.
proud:
that i have a son who is smart and spirited and unafraid --even if it means going against convention (he is only 4 though LOL)
that i made a drastic move away from everyone and everything i know, so that i could be a SAHM for him.
regrets:
that we ive so far from both sets of families and that he will never have a relationship with his cousins as i did with mine who lived a block away.
that i sometimes get frustrated with him and his very strong will, when at the same time i am so proud of how strong he is and how he doesn't willingly give up what he wants.
1. That both sons have always said "I love you" to us - no matter who is around to hear them
2. That both sons learned how important 'balance' is in their lives - they both work hard and play hard....as their parents, we weren't always so good at the 'play hard' part.....
3. I had to add a #3 - I'm super proud to see one of my sons as a father - and he's a GREAT one too
REGRETS:
I'm not sure, sitting here with grown sons, who are successful, kind, polite young men, with busy lives of their own, if I have any regrets....any that I could type would be trivial....both of my parents are still alive and very involved with both - both my husband's parents are as well and see the boys as often as possible - and my own 98 year old grandmother is still alive and well too.
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